Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 301, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 December 1917 — Ade Interprets Modern Beatitudes, Made in Germany. [ARTICLE]

Ade Interprets Modern Beatitudes, Made in Germany.

BY GEORGE ADE. (Contributed by George Ade to the National Security League’s campaign of patriotism through education. ) We must win the big war or else revise all mural codes, rewrite all proverbs and adopt a brand new set of rules to govern conduct. We have accepted certain timehonored adages as self-evident truths.

We found them in our early copybooks and we grew up on them and repeated them so often that, naturally, we came to think that they could be relied upon. Then Germany came along with an intensely modern variety of ethics bearing the label of kultur. The new medicine is not taken internally or rubbed on as a liniment, but you have it shot into you by a large gun. Unless we refuse to take the treatment everything that we ever believed in will be overruled, discarded and thrown into the alley. If Germany is not licked to a standstill we might as well begin to memorize and humbly accept the following: Dishonesty is the best policy. Be as mean as a skunk and you will be happy. < Blessed are the child-murderers, for they shall inherit the earth. Be sure you are right handy with firearms, then go ahead. An evil reputation is better than riches. Truth crushed to earth will not rise again if the crushing is done in a superior and efficient manner. Be virtuous and you will be miserable. ’' Thrice armed is he who goes around picking quarrels. Might makes right. Hell on earth and hatted for all men. Do unto others as you suspect that they might do unto you if they ever got to be as disreputable as you are. God helps the man that helps himself to his neighbor’s house and his fl. Ids and his unprotected women. Those don t st>”nd right, do they? The old one- tlat we lea.ned first of all are not yet out of date. Suppose we don’t revise them.