Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 276, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 December 1917 — SATAN OUT; KAISER IN [ARTICLE]

SATAN OUT; KAISER IN

KAISER WELL QUALIFIED TO TAKE SATAN’S PLACE SAYS lOWA WRITER. Louis Syberkrop, an obscure farmer of Creston, lowa, suddenly sprung to .nation-wide fame a few weeks ago when he produced a satire on Kaiser Wilhelm. Requests for copies of it have come to Syberkrop from Tumulty, Secretary Daniels and Theodore Roosevelt, and people in every state of the union and Canada. The satire follows; Ottumwa, lowa, The Infernal Region, June 28, 1917.

“To Wilhelm von Hohenzollern King of Prussia, Emperor of all Germany and Envoy Extraordinary of Almighty God: “My Dear Wilhelm: “I can tell you by that familar name for I have always been very close to you, much closer than you could ever know. “From the time that you were yet an ■ undeveloped being in your mother’s womb I have shaped your destiny for my own purpose. “In the days of Rome I created a roughneck known in history as Nero; he was a vulgar character and suited my purpose at that particular time. In these modern days'la classic demon and efficient super-criminal was needed and as I know the Hohenzollern blood I picked you as my special instrument to place on earth an annex of hell; I gave you abnormal ambition, likewise an over supply of egotism that you might not discover your own failings; I twisted your mind to that of a mad man with certain normal tendencies to carry you by, a most dangerous character placed in power; I gave you the power of a hypnotist and a certain magnetic force that you might sway your people. I am responsible for the deformed arm that haftgs helples on your left for your crippled condition embitters your life and destroys all noble impulses that might otherwise cause me anxiety, but your strong sword arm is driven by your ambition that squelches all sentiment and pity; I placed in your soul a deep hatred for all things English for of all nations on earth I hate England most; wherever England plants her flag she bring order out of chaos and the lated Cross follows the Unioh back; under her rule wild tribes become tillers of the soil and in due time practical citizens; she is the great civilizer of the globe and I HATE HER. I planted in your soul hatred for your mother because SHE was English and left my good friend Bismark to fan the flame I had kindled. Recent history proves how well our work was done. It broke your royal mother’s heart but I gained my purpose. “The inherited disease of the Hohenzollerns killed your father, just as it will kill you, and you became the ruler of Germany and a tool of mine sooner than I expected. “To assist you and further hasten my work I sent you three evil spirits Nietzsche, Treitschke and later Bernhardi, who teachings Inflamed the youths of Germany, who in good time would be willing and loyal subjects and eager to spill their blood and pull your chestnuts, (Yours and Mine); the spell has been perfect—you cast your ambitious eyes toward the Mediterranean, Egypt, Indian and the Dardanelles and you began your great railway to Bagdad, but the ambitious archduke qnd his more ambitious wife stood in your way. It was then that I sowed the seed in your heart that blossomed into the assassination of the Duke and his wife, and all hell smiled when it saw how cleverly you saddled the crime on to Servia. I saw you set sail for the Fjords of Norway and I knew you would prove an alibi. How cleverly done; so much like your noble grandfather who also secured an assassin to remove old King Frederick of Denmark, and later robbed that country of two provinces that gave Germany opportunity to become a nayal power. Murder is dirty work but it takes a Hohenzollern to make a way and get by . “Your opportunity was at hand; you set the world on fire snd the bells of hell ringing; your rape on Belgium caused much joy; it was the beginning, the foundation of’, a perfect hell on earth. The destruction of noble cathedrals and other infinite works of art was healed with joy in the infernal regions. You made war on friends and foes alike the murder of civilians showed my teachings had born fruit. Your treachery toward neutral nations hastened a universal upheavel, THE THING I MOST DESIRED. Your under-sea warfare is a master stroke —from the smallest mackerel boat to the great Lusitania, you show no favorites; as a war Lord you stand supreme for you have no mercy; you have no consideration for the baby clinging to its mother’s breasts as they both go down into the deep together only to be torn a part and leisurely devoured by sharks down among the corals. “I have strolled over the battlefields of Belgium and France, have seen your hand of destruction everywhere; its all your work, superfiend that I made you; I have seen the fields of Poland, now a wilderness fit for prowling beast only; no merry children in Poland now, they all succumbled to frost and starvation. I drifted down into Galicia

where formerly Jews and Gentiles lived happily together) Ifound but ruins and ashes; I felt a curious pride in iuy pupil for it was all above my expectation. I was in Belgium when you drove the peaceful population before you like cattle into slavery; you separated man and wife and forced them to hard labor in trenches. I have seen the most fiendish rape committed on young women, and those who were forced into maternity were cursing the father of their offspring and I began to doubt if my own inferno was really up to date. “You have taken millions ofdollars from innoceht victims and called it indemnify; you have lived fat on the land you usurped and sent the real owners awa.y to starvation. You have strayed away from all legalized war methods and introduced a code of your own. You have killed and robbed the people of friendly nations and destroyed their property. You are a liar, a hypocrite and a bluffer of the highest magnitude. You are a pupil of mine and yet you pose as a personal friends of God. Ah, Wilhelm, you are a wonder. You wantonly destroy all things in your path and leave nothing for coming generations. “I was amazed when I saw you form a partnership with the impossible Turk, the chronic killer of Christians, and you a devout worshipper in the Lutheran church. I confess, Wilhelm, you are a puzzle at times. A Mohammedan army commanded by Prussian officers assisting one another in massecreing Christians is a new line of warfare. When a Prussian officer can witness a nude woman- who is about to become a mother being disembowled by a swarthy Turk, committing a double murder xfrith one cut of his sabre, and calmly stand by and see a hpuse full of innocent Armenians locked up,ithe house saturated with oil and fired, then my teachings did not stop with youbut have been extended to the whole German nation. I confess my satanic soul grew sick and there and then I knew the pupil had become the master. lam a back unmber, and my dear Wilhelm, I abdicate in your favor., The great key of hell will be turned over to you. The gravel that has struck the doom of damned souls since time began is yours. I am satisfied with what I have done; that my abdication in your favor is the very best interests of hell— in the future lam at your Majesty’s service.” Affectionately and Sincerely, LUCIFBR H. SATAN. The sequel to this satire, “Wilhelm accepts the throne of hell,” by the same author, is now on sale.