Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 252, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 November 1917 — Gathered Smiles [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Gathered Smiles

Not Caught Napping. “William.” snapped the dear lady, viciously, “didn’t I hear the clock strike two as you came in?” “You did, my dear. It started to strike ten, but I stopped it to keep from waking you up.” Depends What You Take. The riddle fiend

announced: “If I take two letters • from •money’ ‘one’ will be left. Curious, Isn’t itr “Very,” drawled the bored friend, “but I can tell you something more curious.” “What's that!” “A friend of mine took money from two letters, and now his wife

and family are left” Relative Values. “You make fuss about losing a nlckel than I’d make about losing a irtfndred dollars.” “Boss,” said the boy, “you’ve got the wrong idea. The chances arA you’ve got another hundred. But this was my last nickel., Tain’t what you lose that makes the difference. It’s what you’ve got left” ■ ■

What Puzzled Him.

Mr. Easterly— The banging gardens of Babylon must have been a wonderful sight Woolsey West —Yes; I’ve heard of ’em. And I’ve often wondered why they provided such elaborate accommodations for lynching parties.

Home Censorship. “Do you remember the story of David and Goliath?” “Yes. But I don’t encourage my boys to read it I have trouble enough now to keep them from throwing stones.” Varied Activities. “I see now why you call your yacht the Flirt.” “Why do you think I call her so?” “Because I notice she is either Idea* ing the waves or hugging the shore.’”' His Idea of Fighting. "It’s not the money, it’s the principle of the thing he’s fighting for.” “They all say that.” “I know, but In this case it must he. He has hired a SIO,OOO lawyer to defend him in a SSOO law suit.”