Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 252, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 November 1917 — Helping to Win the War. [ARTICLE]

Helping to Win the War.

(By George Ade.)

While the war is on, the active work in support of the boys at the front will be shouldered cheerfully by men and women a little too old for acrobatic service but not yet frosted at the temples. They will supply part of the money and most of the “pep” needed to supply and encourage a huge army in the field. It is for them to realize that we have passed the period of doubting

and question-answering. We have come to the days when hustling must supplant conversation. It was all right six months ago to spare an hour a day in trying to convince some one with a vacant eye and a dark mind that we were really justified in accepting the insolent challenge thrown at us by Germany. You are to be forgiven if, even three months ago, you spent valuable time trying to convince a sluggish minority that: Ist—Government bonds are a safe investment.

2nd—Pro-German propaganda are to be hit in the head. 3rd—The Allies are to be trusted. 4th—The Red Cross is above suspicion and does not obtain either money or knitted goods under false pretenses. sth—All taxes which have been evied are justified by extraordinary and unprecedented conditions. 6th—This is not a rich man’s war; it was not precipitated by any Wall Street influence; it is not concerned over private investments; it is not a grand benefit for munition-makers. 7th—Fair promises have no value when they are made by a criminal who finds himself backed into a corner.

Bth—The men in our training camps and aboard transports and stationed somewhere in France are being safeguarded as American soldiers never before were looked after, as regards wholesome food, proper sanitation, prevention of disease and moral guidance. Why enumerate further? Abe Martin met a feller down in Brown county that never heard of Tony Pastor and we have a tax payer in our township who thinks the world is flat, and you can find cabaret performers in New York City who don’t believe there is such a place as lowa, and clairvoyants still find customera, and you can name people who will consult a patent-medicine “ad” in preference to a doctor, and old Jethro Tilford, over in Shelby township, carries a dried-up potato to keep off the rheumatism. In every community you will find a contrary-minded sediment of the mman race—people who keep themselves somewhat in evidence by nois- ■ y denying facts which are self-evi-dent to all of their neighbors who happen to be in the full enjoyment of sanity. They are somewhat like frogs, i. e., they make an awful'noise in proportion to their number.

Now, if you will take the trouble to check up, in your immediate neighborhood, the people who, from the beginning of the war have been full of doubts and questions and false alarms, you will find that they are few in number and of precious little importance, except as atmospheric disturbances. Also, did it occur to you: That the man who had bought most liberally of government bonds never questioned the safety of his security. That the woman who was knitting the most socks and sweaters never believed the silly stories about the Red Cross being a crooked institution? That the soldier boy, about "to board a transport and join his comrades of France and Great Britain, never was known to doubt the sincerity of the men with whom he Was soon to join shoulders? No indeed! 4 All the wails and misgivings and fish stories are put into circulation by a few picayune outsiders, who were just built to be obstructionists and somehow can’t help it. They are in a class with the Tories who feasted the aristocratic British officers while Washington’s army starved at Valley Forge. They are the kind of people who oppose public improvements, will not buy tickets for the Chautauqua, criticise the minister if he smiles in pub-

lic, and attach the presumption of guilt to any woman attacked by scandal. They are the small-bores, the two-by-fours, the gnats, the sand flies, the ticks—put on earth to teach good people the quality of patience. The time has come to ignore them. If we cannot lock them up for safe keeping, at least we can shut them out from our daily programme and go ahead with the important work laid out for us. This is no time to waste precious hours and vocal energy in trying to prove that two and two make four, and watetjjLwet, and the sun sets in the west, tajiy the mad dog of Prussianism must be muzzled. Don’t try >to convince the miniature LaFollpttes, because they don’t wish to be convinced. They derive a bilious comfort from being different. They have learned that no cloud has a silver lining. It is festooned on the interior with crepe. If all the optimists along your street should arise some morning into a world bedecked with dew-sparkles and exclaim in unison, “What a beautiful, sunshiny day!”—then some two-legged crab would emerge from behind a lilac bush and say, “Yes, but I think it’ll rain before night.” If you find a banana skin on the threshold of patriotic opportunity, kick it aside and don’t permit yourself to become fussed.

The stalwart men and women of middle age are to keep the home fires burning during the supreme ordeal, now at hand. They are to raise the crops, speed the factories, collect the taxes, organize the home guards, conserve the wheat and meat and sugar, back up the Red Cross, peddle the Liberty loan bonds, write the letters, pack the comfort kits and stand by for orders, at all times. If a busy worker feels some one tugging at his coat-tail, thS thing to do is to,kick straight back and kick hard, but don’t waste time in looking around. ' By the way, here is an important tip for every man past thirty. Don’t tell around that you would be keen to enlist, if you were just a little younger. Some of the men just under thirty will have their doubts and even those who believe you will not find entertainment in your conversation.