Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 213, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 September 1917 — A LITTLE BIT HUMOROUS [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

A LITTLE BIT HUMOROUS

SENSIBLE MAN. V “Is Jlbway still staying out late every night while his good wife sits up and waits for him?” "No.” “You mean he has reformed?” “Not at all. Jibway stays out a* late as ever, but his good wife goes to bed and lets him sleep on the porch If he is unable to negotiate the keyhole with his latch-key." Cutting Down Gossip. “How do you suppose some people spent their spare time before motion pictures were invented?” “I don’t like to appear unkind to those persons, but before they started to spending practically all of their leisure moments in photoplay houses they knew a great deal more about their neighbors’ private affairs than they do now 7 .” An Exception. “Misfortunes often bring out the best there is in a man," remarked the philosophic observer. “Great misfortunes sometimes have that effect," answered the cynical person, “but I have yet to see the man who w r ears an ‘Oh-be-joyful’ expression after trying in vain for thirty minutes to get a telephone number.” Makes Them Envious. “The idea of a rich woman paying SI,OOO for a fur coat!” exclaimed - 'the socialistic observer. “That doesn’t increase the sum of human happiness." “You are right, friend,” answered a hard-w 7 orked married man. “At any. rate, it doesn’t Increase the sum of happiness among women who can’t afford to buy SI,OOO coats.”

HUBBY'S VIEWS.

“I think a trip to Europe would do your wife good. However, I shall call In another physician to see if my diagnosis is correct.” “I guess MX correct enough, doc. Better call In a dressmaker if you want to hasten the cure.lL—_— —

Learning. She’s learning fanning By degrees; She thought potatoes Grew on trees. An Illustration. “Isn’t It strange how r the majority of people can become attached to a. bad custom ?” “Yes; look at the street car strap-* hangers." Easy Job. “His lawyer couldn’t clear the man who was accused of being a fence.” —“That 1 * qucerr-it-ought be easyenough for any man, let alone a lawyer to whitewash a fence.” Hard Pressed. Ben Brokeleigh—Darling, let us get; married at once. I positively can’t live another day Without you. Gertie Gotrox —Why, Ben, I had no idea you were that hard up. Up in the Air. . Bob White- —Isn’t Jim Meadow Lark 1 peevish of late? Mrs. B. W.—Oh, terribly. The least: noise makes him soar.

Just Now. ”What’s the best seller today T “Judglftg from the most recent reports, I should suy It was a potato cellar." f Never Seen Together. 411 s. Jack Glithers still going with that dashing Miss Peacher?” _ . “Why, no. Haven’t you heard the, news?" “Tell mo." “They are married now." The Usual Thing. “What Is It a sign asked the in-i nocent maid “when a young man begins to tell a girl his troubles?” “It’s S sign,” answered the wise* widow, “that he will soon ask her toi share them." -