Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 174, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 August 1917 — SOME SMILES [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

SOME SMILES

Preparedness. Farmer Whlffletree was riding along HrW wagon with an extra wheel strapped to the back of it. “What’s the idea?” asked another farmer who met him. “Imitatin’ them automobeel fellers?” “Nope; anticipatin’ ’em,” was the reply. Wild Oats. .

Young_ Hardfax —But dad, there can’t be any real harm in sowing a few Wild oats. Old Hardfax — Mebbe not ’cause if you’re as much of a donkey as I think you are you can eat the crop.

The Cycle. « Mr. Gotrox —When I was your age I didn’t have a dollar. Cholly Gotrox —Well, dad, when I am your age I probably won’t have a dollar. Opposites Meeting. » “Are there any grounds for those reports?” “There must be some ground since they are so much in the air,” A Tonic. “There are two phonograph records missipg, Bridget,” “Sure, the goat did eat ’em up today, Pat.” , “Well, he wasn’t feeling first rote; perhaps they’ll tone him up a bit"

Not That Kind.

“You see,” said the professor, “the science of chemistry depends on the discovery of certain affinities—” L —“ Pardon me," interrupted Miss Prym. “I trust the conversation can proceed without drifting into scandal.”

Literally So. Flippant Friend —There’s one ripping scene In your new play. Pleased Author —Glad, you liked it. Which on,e do you mean? Flippant Friend —In the dressmaker’s workroom, where they’re pulling the gowns to pieces. Dark Outlook. “Don’t you think the Russian women are brave who have formed themselves Into a regiment, and will have the same discipline and fight the same as the men?” ’’Maybe so, but all that training and military knowledge are going to tell in Russian homes when the war is over." Contrary Result “The new apartment house you see yonder cost its builder a round sum." "It did?” _ > “And then waa a fiat failure." . In the Court, w \ “Now, my good woman, I will up the subject of your dispute with your husband.” “But you can’t take it up. your honor.” “Why can’t L madam?” / “It’s the parlor carpet, sir.’’