Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 168, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 August 1917 — AN APOTHEOSIS OF COFFEE [ARTICLE]

AN APOTHEOSIS OF COFFEE

“What Wife Can Fail to Admit the Peace and Serenity She Owes to You!” Queries Writer. Let me make my husband’s coffee — and I care not who makes eyes at him I Give me two matches a day— One to start the coffee with at breakfast and one for his cigar after dinner. And I defy all the houris in Christendom to light a new flame in his heart I Oh, sweet, supernal coffee pot! Gentle panacea of domestic troubles. Faithful author of that sweet nepenthe which deadens all the ills that married folks are heir to. Cheery, glittering, soul-soothing, warm-hearted, inanimate friend What wife can fall to admit the peace and serenity she owes to you? To you, who stand between her and all the early morning troubles — Between her and the before-break-fast grouch— Between her and the morning-after headache — Between her and the cold gray dawn scrutiny? . ’ To you, who supply the golden nectar that stimulates the jaded masculine soul. • • . Soothes the shaky masculine nerves, stirs the fagged masculine mind, inspires the slow masculine sentiment. And starts the sluggish blood a-flow-ing and the whole day right 1 Give me a man who drinks good, hot, dark, strong coffee for breakfast! A man who smokes a good, dark, fat cigar after dinner! You may marry your milk faddist, or your anticoffee crank, as you will! But I know the magic of the coffee pot!—Helen Rowland in the Grocer.