Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 165, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 July 1917 — SOME SMILES [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

SOME SMILES

But He Didn't.

Burton had just purchased a fine old vase, and was endeavoring to Impress hls ors with its antiquity. “Ah, it’s a beauty! It belonged to General —er — General er what’s his name?” “Oh, ah, yes,” said a sarcastic friend, coming to his aid, “General Dealer, wasn’t ItF

Rebuffed. “My life is an open book,” said the conceited youth. “Like a newly purchased memorandum book,” said the caustic young woman. \ , “How is that?” “There is nothing in it” ——■ ' Started Him Worrying. “Did you try counting gheep for your insomnia?” ' “Yes; but it only made matters worse—the sheep reminded me of my butcher’s bill.” 'I . - I s To Be Sure. “Is it easier, to fly an airplane near the sea?” cooed the sweet young thing. •’Yes,” replied the aviator thought- ■• • •

fully, “you see the air is so much more bradng.” That's His Business. Nell—Did yofc see how that beastly man stared at me? Elsie —Oh, don’t you know who that was, Nellie? It was one of those reporters, and he was staring at your nose. “My good gracious! Why?” “Because he is b3und to keep his eye on anything that turns up.” A La Mode. Diana —I hope when you marry, Aubrey, it will be a love match. Blase Brother—My dear Di, of course, it will—with a very rich girl.— Judge. Safety FirsL Casey—Can yure wife cook as good as your mother used to, Pat? Mulligan—She cannot; but Oi never mention it. She can throw considerable betther. The Ruling Passion.

“The second edition of your book will soon go to press, Doctor. Do you wish to make any changes?” “Yes; I shall cut out the appendix.”

• Question. She —Your wife has actually been making love to my husband. He —Do you want to congratulate me or ought I to congratulate you? —Judge.