Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 145, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 6 July 1917 — SOME SMILES [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

SOME SMILES

Another Reason.

“Lots of towns like so claim a rich and famous man.” “The town is proud of him, eh?” . “Yes, and today there’s a chance to collect an inheritance tax.”

Luxuries. First Flve-Year-Old —Bill, whatcha goln’ to buy when yer git big and have a lotta money? Second Ditto—Well, lessee. Guess I’ll get an ortamobeel, a steam “yatch,” a wife and a peck of pertaters. In a Department Store. "Where did you work in your last !job?” “In the hair goods department.” "We have no vacancy in that department. However, I’ll do the next ibest, I’Ll put you in the hardware department among the locks.” Broken Engagement. "Why do you pass him up, girlie? I {thought you liked him.” “I liked , him well enough, but I (couldn’t go through life with him. I (didn’t care for the make of his car." Wasted Oratory. Boy—l want to get some cheese. (Got any what's good? Grocer —We have some 1 can recomimend highly. It’s made at our own {dairy from pure cream and is <excepjtionally mlld and pleasant in flavor. (About how much will you htfve? Boy—Gimme enough to bait a mouse {trap with. A J4ot One.

She I was (thinking of you Hast night, Mr. iSapleigh. He (flattered)— |Aw{ really? She—-You seer we had Professor IHypnit at our Ihouse, and during i one of his tests the bade me think of nothing.

• Hie Excuse. Lady—Why do you use such terrible [language, my man? , Profane Workman —Fact is, mum, I I’m a bit deaf an’ don’t exactly hear 1 what I say. Doltyg His Bit. Father (sternly)—Robert, you are {late for breakfast again. Son —It’s a measure of economy, father. You know that as soon as one arises the expenses begin. One Reties. “What are you reading there?” “My life insurance policy, and it gives me a frightful headache." “Can’t. toll what v jt means, eh?" ••No. wlmy only consolation is that snmebrdy -Ise will have to settle it ffi the end,” ‘ ■ ■■ '- : '<