Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 129, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 June 1917 — SOME SMILES [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

SOME SMILES

Luxuriousness.

"You should be content with simple fare.” "It can’t be managed. The prices now entitle everything edible to be classed as a luxury.”

His Knowledge of Green. "What sort of a man is Green?” "Fine. The best ever.” “Is he trustworthy?” “Very.” “Would you lend money to him?” “As to that I can’t say. I’ve never lent him any. I’ve only borrowed from him.” Didn’t Let Him Resign. “It’s not being discharged that 1 object to; it’s the nasty way they had of doing it.” “What was wrong?” “They just came up and told me that they wouldn’t need my services any longer. They might, at least, have given me the privilege of resigning.” Served Him Right. “Serves me right for pretending.” “Huh?” “I talked a lot of highbrow talk to my new girl and now she has gone and bought me a set of Emerson’s essays for a birthday present. I could have used a fancy vesL” ' k A Matter of Necessity. She (pouting) —I believe you would sooner play cards with papa than sit in the parlor with me. He —No, darling, I wouldn’t; but we must have the money to get married on. A Free Man at Last. “Jdbbles has gone into business for himself.” "Good.” "There was a celebration out at his house the other day. The family gathered around Jobbles in the backyard while he smashed the alarm clock that has woke him up every morning for sixteen years.” The Way They'd Like to Do It.

"How much is this hat?” askeq Mrs. Spender sweetly, of the salesgirl. “I don’t know, lady,” admitted lue girl. “How much have you

got?” He Got It Judge—What do you mean, young man, by getting into trouble of this kind? Miscreant —Why, you see, your honor, I was just out for a little time. Judge —All right; 11l not disappoint you. Sixty days. Without Doubt. "Mrs. Offenwed,” asked her friend, “weren’t you nearly distracted when you heard of the death of your fifth husband?” “My goodness. I should say so! Absolutely unmanned.”