Evening Republican, Volume 59, Number 124, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 June 1917 — HASHIMURA TOGO [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

HASHIMURA TOGO

POMSSTK. SCIENTIST

by WALLACE IRWIN

TOGO BECOMES A FIRE HERO

Hpn. Dear Sir: Another place where I am habitually absent can be found at home of Hon. Mrs. & Mr. Susan J. Fogg, Turnverein, Conn. 1 wae burnt away from that place because of my heroism. I tell you how was: This Mrs. Fogg lady reside with her husband and furnture in a residence, which are covered, with extremely wooden decorations, which talented sculptors have cut out with saws. She say it is one Queen Annie house. Perhaps so it is. Maybe this Annie were empress of Coney Island to build such merry architecture. Hon. Mrs. Boss are considerable proud of her house & what is Imide. "Togo,” she otter with serious eyebrows, “there is not one drop of fire Insurance on this house!” So Hon. Mrs. Fogg donate to me one smallish volume of book entitled “First Ade tn Fires.” This literature which is bound in 4th of July color, tell me following information about Are when he gets loose: "Chimbleys are most dangerous articles to have around a house because they gets clogged with soot, thusly causing inflammation of the roof which creates blazes and burns insurance. Total loss. Best way to put out a mad chimbley is to sprinkle salt down him until he quits. “In case of houseaflre, human folks must be save* before all other furniture, because they are most combustible. This can be did by throwing wet blanket over them and dragging them forth. Valuable heirlooms can be saved from burning house by taking them out.” I read this instructions, Mr. Editor, and feel prepared for anything. This Mrs. Fogg got one Irish cooklady name of Hilda Katz. Hon. Hilda are beautiful, except her face and figure, which are not. She enjoy very sorry romance, because of Hon. Wm., a hack-driver, who drove away with another fiancee and remain there. Consequent of this, Hon. Hilda weep & cook nearly all time. ‘Togo,” she report to me, while making tears and pies, “never promise to marry any gentleman in the livery-stable business. ’ "I shall avoid this peril firmly,” 1 narrate.. “67 doz. assorted love-letters this Wm. sent me. And what asefulness are they now?” Weeps by her. “They might make a sad novel, if printed among pictures,” I say so. She peel onions with Romeo expression. But I were too busy being a fire-detective to think of Wm. and his escape from love. Nearly each hour by clock-time Hon. Mrs. would come to me and talk underwriter language: "You hear that smell of smoke?” she require. It were nice, balmish evening of summer weather when Mrs. and Mr. Chas Hassock, neighborly persons of quiet fashion, was there to play bridgegamble amidst society clothing. Hon. Mr. Fogg, medium gentleman with tame whiskers, were also there acting like a husband-man. Bridge-card resume for several hours while those 4 persons sat there calling each other “Trumps” and other American insults. O suddenly!! what was that my nose smelled? Inflammatory smell of fire!! ■ With iced brain I recall what “First Ade to Fires” said about mad chimbleys, so I rosh silently to outside house to see how ours were behaving. O surely yes! Hon. Chimbley were shooting sparkles & pin-wheels from his enraged bricks! What I do then? With immediate quickness, I rosh to dining room and grab 2 salt-sellers in my courageous thumbs. Making my toes extremely swift, I clomb ladder to roof & scramble along shingles with care peculiar

*to Thos. Cats. Then, by heroic movements of wrists, I pepper considerable salt straight into the face of that mad Chimbley. Yet he still continue on makWhat nextly must I do? I think of that fire-volume which say, “Human (folks must be saved before all other furniture.” So I scomper to bed-room, dragg forth one complete blanket & soush Ihim in wet water of bath-tub. With these blanket held in my firm knuckles, !l ascended downstairs to parlor where Hon. Mrs. Fogg set In her elegant hair ■and considerable expensive face-powder calling Mrs. Hassock a “Renig” in Ibridge-language. With wetness of blanket, I stand behind Hon. Mrs. Fogg. “What for?” she holla when she seen me. But before anything else ■could collapse, I wound wettish blanket round her head. “Gog!" she report with strangely voice. Yet, before she could narrate more, I had drogged her forthly to fresh air. “What is the meaning of this meanness?” require Hon. Fogg. “Meaning of Fire!” I yellup. “Why do you stand there making speechless talks, when your home is sparking?” At this oratory of words, everybody begin making hook-and-ladder movements. Hon. Fogg grabb bird-cage .and pair of tongs. Hon. Mrs. save 3 plush albums. Hon. Hassock attempt to remove sideboard, but it were nailed to floor. Hon. Mrs. Hassock rosh down street breaking fire-alarms out of telephone poles. . , . But I were more strong in my strength. With Samurai knuckles, 1 grasp cabinet full of cut-up glasswear and roll, him down front steps to lawn. Loud crash! Thusly was valuable dishes saved from fire. With deer-foot heels, I eloped upstairs to bed-room and begin pouring entire household out of window. Mattress, pitchers, rugs, etc., fell like Niagara falling. When I threw forth family water-color landscape representing the face of Aunt Nerissa Hodges, it make boomerang fly-off and struck on head of Hon. Fogg which went through. Too bad. I were just in the heroism of poking brass bedstead through pane of glass, when Mrs. and Mr. Fogg escorted by Mrs. and Mr. Hassock and Hon Hilda Jfatz, cook-lady, suddenly encroach into room and seeze me. '“Platoon of brainless mind!” they all hiss like circular snakes. “Who inform you this house were blaze?” ... “Did I not see Hon. Chimbley spitting rockets?” This from me. “Sakes of shucks!" commute Hon. Hilda contemptibly. “That were not house-afire. That were jperely me burning negligent love-letters in kitchen stove." Grones by all. “So my house are not afire!" report Hon. Mrs. for disappoint. “So sorry!” I regret. In distant midnight I could hear rural hose-car-Tiage approaching with gongs. “Maybe there was no fire, but this were very useful practice. Also I was enabled to show- you the iced quality of my intelligence. Ts there had been some fire, I should put It'out!" “You have put nearly everything Oise out,” say sorrowfully Hon. Mrs., looking outside to moonlight Where the entire interior of her home lay scram- -■■ ■" bled on the lawn. Hon. Fogg gargle with his teeth. “Since you are so talented at putting things out,” he suggest, “perhaps you oan place yourself elsewheres with Immediate rapidness.” . I oblige. When nextly observed, I were setting In R. R. Station await* tag for morning train and feeling quite roasted. Hoping you are the same, • . ' Tours truly, HASHIMURA TOGO. (Copyright, by International Press Bureau.)

I Pepper Considerable Salt Straight Into the Face of That Mad Chimbley.