Evening Republican, Volume 59, Number 124, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 June 1917 — GOOD JOKES [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

GOOD JOKES

His Day. —’.... •» “Your day, of

all days,” quoth the fortune teller, “is Saturday Watch for it, for on that day you will receive a certain sum of fiioney.” “You’re right for once,” said the fellow with the i adjustable grin, “that’s pay day.”

Quite a Difference, “Say, doctor, explain, a little matter to me, will you? What’s the difference between an artistic temperament and the other kind of bugs?” “Oh, about $5,000 a week and a padded cell," answered doc. Doubtful. “Is your husband a regular attendant at lodge?" he takes a night away from home regularly every week for that purpose." Of Course Not. / “Mary Jane,” called a voice down the stairway, “do you and that young man know what time it is?” “How foolish, father! How can we be expected to know, sitting here in the dark.” Good Management. “Say, old Doolittle is an unlucky fellow. The court allowed him only $9,999 for the loss of his finger." __

“Unlucky! Great Scott, man! He lost one digit and gained four. That’s good business.” A Drawback. “The photographers' club I belong to is going to a debate." “Can’t be done.” “Why ..not?” “Became every man in the club will want to tpke the negative side.” L ■ ~ ; ■ .... ■■U, 2__ . . x... 2. Happy Fellows. “These restaurant proprietors must be happy men,” said Henpeek, glancing at a sign on the wail. “Why so?" asked the only friend his wife would let him have. “Look at that,” responded the downtroddenAbne, pointing to a sign which read, “Npt responsible for hats, other apparel or valuables.” \ \ V “ . But She Must Have.

“How do you do, Gladys, my dear? I hear you nave a hew baby* pt your house.” “Gee whiz, Mrs. Askalot, I knew he cried awful loud, but I didn't s’pose you cou® hear him way down here.”

Clever. “Is that young man you are going with clever?” “Clever, I should ,say he is. The other night when I was out riding with him he jollied three traffic policemen out of making complaints against him for speeding.”