Evening Republican, Volume 59, Number 110, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 May 1917 — HASHIMURA TOGO [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

HASHIMURA TOGO

by WALLACE IRWIN

TOGO MEETS HON. CLOTHES LINE Dear Mr.: Another place where lam no longer at is Rahway, N. X workfag for Mrs. H. Griddle, cultured lady. I tell you why I am removed. Thia Mrs. Griddle to who 1 came determined to do Gen. Housework, have got considerable musical ambition inside her voice. She do all her housework at the piano. “Togo,” dictate Mrs. H. Griddle, stopping her soprano sifflciently to speak, “you will kindly give ade to Hon. Maggie today tn clothes wash ceremony.” “O thank you not to do so!” I declare with pathos. “Why so?” she snagger with uplifted expression. “This Hon. Maggie treat me without chivalry. How could I be assistantscrub beside her haughty actions?” I resolve. ■ ■ “Either do so or deprive yourself of this job,” she holla, departing off in high Key of C. - I find Hon. Maggie lady in laundry preparing to suds. Redness appear from her hair and arms while she look to me with cross expression peculiar to a eagle watching an angly-worm. Then she lift wash-boiler from stove showing energy like athleet juggling automobiles. “Jap,” she reproach. “Yes, sir!” I pronouws^^- 5 •“T’T” “Was you sent here to look beautiful or to be helpful?” she ask out. “Not sure—Mrs. Boss did not instruct me which to be,” I report. “I will instruct you!” she growell like a lady menagerie. “Become busy as soonly as possible. You will find a clothes-ringer annexed to yonder tub. Attach yourself to the handle and ring the cloths earnestly until I tell you quit.” She point to one slight machinery resembling a hand organ with pianola rolls. I wind this instrument continuously. Nothing evolve. “O Mrs. Madam, I cannot hear the bell!” I suggest. “Which bell, please?” she otter. “You tell me to ring the clothes, not so?” I ask it. “I despise you for vour yellow mind!” she dib. “Clothes does not ring 1 could not assimilate the way she said it. She lift several drowned clothes from the tub and show me with considerable muscle how to squash them through those rollers. Clothes, however wet, can be sent through that machinery and emerge forth with great dignity like flat snakes. I turn crank handle continuously while Hon. Maggie make poke-in with wettish clothes. I enjoy great pain in my wrist and elbows, and when I commence to quit, this laundered female say “Faster” with bull dog expression. Hon. Mag fill tub with artistic color from blue bottle. “While you are idle you can do something!” she holla suddenly like a steam whistle. “How could I do something when idle?” this inquiry from me. “You see that baskett of clothes?” She point forth to one baskett full of complete whiteness like a bushel of damp ghosts. “Take them immediately for hang-out!" she otter with gloom. “To hang clothes,” she instruct, “you must first lift them one at a time from the baskett, grasping them by both ears —thusly." She show how. “You shake him twice, snap—snap!” She demonstrate this with considerable clothes-shake. “Then you buckle him to line with a clothespin on each ear.” *She linier mouth with clothespins, and then she lift one tablecloth by his ears, shake him brutally with her pugilistic hands, and nail him to clothesline she said so. “You got slfflcient strength enough to do this?” she require snapply. “Maybe-so, yes,” I report. “If not, I give you the prize!” she say, eloping to house without telling me which prize she meant. I put all my intellectual mind on this clothes-hang job. It seem to be light, agreeable job for Japanese Schoolboy—simply to lift a clothes' by his ears and glue him to rope with clothespins. But suddenly I was reminded. That clothes-line was 7% feet in highness, while I stood merely 5 feet ifi lowness. How should I get up there without flying machinery? I observed a step-ladder sleeping quietly by kitchen window. It was a very diseased-looking furniture with lameness in one leg and several ribs

fractured by too much exercise in open air, yet it was a step-ladder. I removed this piece of stairway to underneath clothes-line where I put him. Then I poked six (6) clothespins in my mouth like wooden cigars. Then I took one pillow case from baskett, shook him rudely by his ears and ascended upwards. Hon. Ladder wubble on his sore leg, yet I enjoy no fear, because I am a brave Japanese. With gestures of extreme courage I pin Hon. Pillow Case to that stretched string where he clung with beautiful purity peculiar to washing. I began to love this clothes-hang performance. It seemed so nice and healthful to do housework outdoors amidst backyard scenery and gentle summer breeze. It was very superior pleasure for die. While standing tip-top on that ladder I was enabled to observe Nature. It are wonderful how tall a short Japanese feels while standing on a ladder! I could distinctly see over fence into next yard where Hon. Swede lady employed for cook by Mrs. J. C. Camel was making flirting conversation with Hon. Ice Man. I also observe Hon. Cat obtaining slight refreshment of cream-pitcher from window while that Swede was too Interested. I stood in joyful trance holding wet sheet while biting clothespin like wooden sigars. Jt make such inexpensive enjoyment for cool summer day to stand on ladder beholding other folk’s business! , , i n the midst of everything Hon. Swede Lady turn off suddenly and see Hon. Cat! She made rude “Shoo!" with voice, and Hon. Cat were so offended he fell from window in the midst of milk pitcher and extreme breakage. With immediate quickness he made rabid scoot for fence with tail enlarged like a comets. “I shall attach him for you!" I. holla to Mrs. Swedish—but soonly as I did so—O calamity! ! 1 lean to forward and Hon. Ladder stub his toe and broke lame leg with loud ecrash! Bereaved of my support I make wildly grabb for atmosphere, Hon. Clothesline was where I struck, so I clasp him with tense affection. And there 1 was, hanging among clothes, swinging my legs with motion peculiar to wet stockings. Hon. Maggie Kelley observe me in this dangled condition. ; “Git downward!" she snuggest. - : -——— Before I could reproach back, Hon. Rope bursted and I was anticipated ito ground so forcibly that I sat there wondering what. Entire clothes-line seemed to surround me with damp washing like a wounded sail. Hon. Maggie making hysteria, seize bottle of wash blue in her prize-fight hands and approach at me screaming war cries. With howell of great intensity she threw ♦hat sky- colored liquid to my head; covering my nose and eyebrows with •plashes of brilliant art. Hextshe rose tohouse and obtain broom. When I seen that female club, J lost my connection with that home. I fep forwards. 1 fled off. I swum over the fence with great skill and continued to elope elsewheres. Farebye -to that job! When nextly' seen I was 2 miles Westward setting among woods at tempting to rub wash-fluid from my forehead which was blue. > Hoping you are the same, f ■ ♦ v •. Yours truly, . HASHIMURA TOGO. ; (Copyright, by International Press Bureau.;

I Lep Forwards, I Fled Off.