Evening Republican, Volume 59, Number 91, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 May 1917 — A LITTLE BIT HUMOROUS [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

A LITTLE BIT HUMOROUS

Doctor Endee —Your husband needs a rest. l recommend a two-months’ tour of South America. Mrs. Nagger—Fine! We’ll leave next week. Doctor Endee —Pardon me, but you misunderstood. He must go alone I said he needed a rest.

Feminine Trait. Dame Nature’s age grows day by day. Though she may not reveal it; For, womanlike, she knows the way Whereby she can conceal it. ; Good Substitute. “Yore aunt,” said Uncle Hiram, “seen ft ml in a paper what sed ez bow a feller tew th’ city would sen ennybody a reseet fer makin’ puddin’ without ulsn’ milk, an’ a heep site richer, an’ all fer a dollar- so she up an’ sent th’ money.” ~ “And did she get the desired information?” asked the city nephew. “Yep,” answered the old man. “Th’ feller writ back an’ told her to youse cream.” Positions Reversed.' Hamlett—What becameof that charming Miss Sharlelgh whom you supported in “The Boarding House Mystery” three years ago? Eggbert—Oh, she’s supporting me now. Hamlett — In what? Eggbert—ln a real boarding house that she is running. I'm her husband. Good Suggestion. Mr. Blowboy—Er-suppose you were a man. Miss Willing, and er-loved a girl very dearly, and couldn’t find words in which to express it, er-what would you do? Miss Willing—Well, I would probably lower the gas a little and —say nothing. There’s a Reason. Mrs. Buttin —I think you ought to know it. I see your husband kissing cook nearly every dayr Mrs. Outatown —Isn’t It thoughtful of him? He does It every morning and she appreciates it so much that she’s been with us for two weeks.

WASN’T A FOLDING BED.

“I don’t see how you stand lying in • . bed so late." “My dear, I beg that you will believe that I am no contortionist; I don’t stand when I He in bed.”

Happy Thought. Miss Askit —When one sends a parcel by express, why do they always askHhe name and address of the sender? Percy Plnkleigh—Why—er—so they 11 know where to return it in case it is —er —lost or stolen, doncher know. 'Heard at the Ball Park. She—Zpapa says our minister’s. salary is only half as much as this pitcher’s He —Well, perhaps the pitcher’s livery is twice as good.