Evening Republican, Volume 59, Number 64, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 6 April 1917 — The Seven Pies [ARTICLE]

The Seven Pies

“Pretty big order, Lem,” remarked Uncle SI Bonney with interest, as the last whisk of the customer’s skirts vanished through the grocery door. “I kind of guess Minnie Wimble must be expectin’ Henry’s folks.” “Guess so,” assented Lem. “Fur’s that goes, though, Myron’s keen for good things, not to mention havin’ ’em accordin’ tO CnstomWdTraffitlbri He’d want everything same’s it used to be at Gran’ma Fenderson’s, seven pies and all, if there wa’n’t a soul to eaf ’em except him and Minple; and Minnie, she’d give him what he wanted if it was fried moon with star sauce.” Uncle Eli Emmons brought the forelegs of his tilted chair to the floor and sat up’Straight “I remember hev’n Thanksglvin’ dinner to Gran’ma Fenderson’s onct,” be announced. “Ump I Thanksglvin’ ain’t what it used to be. Minnie Wimble may want to give Myron the same he used to get at Gran’ma Fenderson’s, but I don’t believe she’s up to it Like’s not she wouldn't know what was gran’ma’s seven kinds of pie, to begin With.” “Oh, come now, Eli!” protested Uncle Si Bonney. “Mebbe women ain’t stidfin’ so dost over the cookstove’s they used to, but when it comes to extry occasions, I guess their gran’ma’ams wouldn’t hev to be ashamed of ’em; not es the dinner Susan’s plannin’ tor’s a fair sample. Turkey to one end of the table, chicken and oyster pie tother,. ham halfway down, and plenty of flxin’s. Chestnut stuffin’, too —m-m-m !” 1 - , ■

“Umph I” snorted Uncle Ell suspiciously. “How about pies?” “Mince, apple, pumpkin and custard,” recited Uncle Si relishingly. “Four!” said Uncle Eli scornfully. “There’d oughter be seven. And a cracker puddin’.” “No, there oughtn’t,” declared Uncle Si with spirit “There wa’n’t any ice cream to Gran’ma Fenderson’s. Ye don’t need a puddin’, and four kinds of pie is enough when ye have ice cream.” “I want cracker puddin’,” declared Uncle Ell belligerently. “I shan’t get it, nor ice cream neither; but I want it, anyhow. And I didn’t say seven kinds of pie was needful, onless a person’s bein’ set up to equal Gran’ma Fenderson.” “Well, she always had seven,” admitted Uncle Si. “Apple, pumpkin, custard, mince, cranberry—that’s fivecoconut —” “Nobody in the Fenderson family ate coconut. ’Twas Marlborough,” contradicted Uncle Ell. * “Banbury,” suggested Uncle Si hopefully, after a meditative pause. “Banbury ain’t pie; it’s tarts,” asserted Uncle Eli decisively. “Sure it wasn’t coconut?” “Sure. Old Cap’n Fenderson hated coconuts. Said they was sticky, gritty, sweet, messy things; no fit food for Christians.” “Huckleberry?” suggested Lem. “Huckleberry I” Uncle Ell’s scorn was scathing. “ ’Twa’n’t huckleberry no more’n ’twas currant nor raspberry. 'Twas a partic’ler kind of pie. Let—me—think; mince, apple, custard, pumpkin, Marlborough; why, that’s only five!” _ “Lost a pie, Eli?” reproved Lem. “Pumpkin, Marlborough, custard, mince, apple,” repeated Uncle Eli in worried tones. “Where’s that sixth pie gone to?” “Cranberry, EH, cranberry,” Uncle Si reminded him soothingly. “Cranberry,” Uncle Eli echoed with relief. “Well, we got back to six again; but there’d ought to be seven.”

Mrs. Wimble dropped in again just then to add a jar of Canton ginger to her list Preoccupied with his intense effort of memory, Uncle Eli did not notice her, but Uncle Si remarked casually: “We was talkin’ about Thanksgiyin’s like they used to be to Gran’ma Fenderson’s, Minnie. S’pose you don’t remember *bout her seven kinds of pie?” ••Hemember? No; but Myron’s told me often enough,” she replied. “Perfectly ridiculous, I call it; but all the name Pm going to surprise him this year with the whole seven. I had quite a time getting hold of the right rule for old-fashioned green tomato pie, though.” “Green tomato!” shouted Unde Eli explosively. “That’s it! That’s the seventh pie!” Unde Si chuckled wheezily. “Mebbe Minnle’U save ye out a piece for old time’s sake, es ye ask her pretty,” he suggested. “Might even bake ye a saucer pie special. Womenfolks hev changed a mite, someways. but they haven’t stopped pamperin’ us menfolks in our appetites.” “You shall have a green tomato saucer pie, Unde Eli." agreed Mrs. Wimble, “put I won’t promise that It’ll be as good as Gran’ma Fenderson’s.” “Now, that’s real kind of ye, Minnie,” Mid Unde Ell graciously; and as she departed he began counting over once more in » reminiscent murmur, while Unde Si kept tally, finger by finger: “Apple, mince, custard, cranberry, pumpkin, Marlborough, green tomato —seven pies I”—Youth’s Companion. 3; '- . ■