Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 59, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 12 March 1917 — COMMANDMENTS FOR WEDDED PAIRS [ARTICLE]

COMMANDMENTS FOR WEDDED PAIRS

THEY TELL HOW TO BE “HAPPY, THO MARRIED” v Connecticut Pastor Presents Double Decalog for Husband and Wife —Matrimonial Insurance. A Baptist preacher at Bridgeport, €oun., where the wooden nutmegs come from, has come forward with ten matrimonial commandments for husbands, and a like number for wives, and he guarantees them to insure perfect wedlock and the fullest measures of connubial bliss if they are strictly observed. They cover every contingency that might wreck a happy bdme and, the pastor thinks, make an insuit .nee policy covering perfect matriino t y for the wife: 2 1. Thou shalt not be a spendthrift. Do not squander thy husband’s hard earned money. It is sacred to him and should be to you. 2. Then shalt not talk shop when thy husband returns at night. Remember he has had shop all day. Study politics or baseball so as to Interest him in something new. 3. Thou shalt not fail to have his meals on time. When the animal is fed you will have a gentleman to spend the evening with you. 4. Thou shalt not quiz thy wedded husband. Do the Quizzing before the marriage. Be adroit and he will tell you all. , 5. Thou shalt not nag thy wedded husband. Hit him with an ax. It is more kind. 6. Thou shalt not fall to dress up for thy husband as thou didst before thy marriage. 7. Thou shalt not try to fight thy husband. The male has always been the best fighter of the two. Don’t fight. Crying will fetch him sooner. 8. Thou shalt not expect thy husband to apologize —even when he is wrong. Let it pass. Kiss him and give him a hot steak for supper. Then forget it. 9. Thou shalt not hesitate to assure thy husband that he is the greatest living man, and that thou dost admire him far more than the president. 10. Thou shalt never remind thy husband of the awful sacrifice thou didst make to marry him. If thou didst love him then there was no sacrifice. What the husband must dot " T. Thou shalt not think that thou thyself art it. 2. Thou shalt not praise thy neighbor’s wife. Praise thine own. 3. Thou shalt not be stingy with thy wife. Thou mightest as well be generous. She earns half tfae ■ahoy, anyway. Thou dost work eight hours a day, but she never knoweth when her work is ended. 4. Thou shalt not share thy love for thy wife with the booze shop. She deserveth it all. 5. Thou shalt not keep any secrets from thy wlfe. : . Secrets breed suspicion and wreck confidence. 6. Thou shalt not refuse to talk with thy wife after the day’s work is over. Don’t shut up like a clam, and, besides, if she wants to talk she. can’t help it. 7. Thoif shalt not fail to provide life insurance for thy wife and children. 8. Thou shalt not scold thy wife when the meat burns up,.ag,lCwill -TVSg~Tfi r thebest regulated home; - Don’t rage, but go out and blow up a powder mill. 9. Thou shalt not fall to kiss thy wife good-by in the morning. .10. Thou shalt not forget thru all the passing Shears that thy wife whom God had given thee as thy companion is thy superior.