Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 57, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 March 1917 — The Tablecloth [ARTICLE]

The Tablecloth

“Why," demanded the Occasional Grumbler, in the tone of one who not only did not expect, but would not tolerate, ah answer, “should, a Clean tablecloth be the most sacred thing about a fairly average family household? A clean tablecloth is not lares or penates, either or b osh. lt*k just a rag that has managed to get thru the laundry in good shape. ’lt can go thru again in Just as good shape—or just about as good; and, for that matter, if the worst came to the worst (as your wife generally expects it to), it could be replaced without disturbing the quotations on international exchange. “But a woman never thinks about that To her a clean tablecloth is a thing to be worshiped, not a thing to be eaten off of, and it never counts to her that no magic can bless it with .semipaternal cleanliness. It’s got to g6t dirty sometime —why not now? Nothing to it! If you overflow the gravy from the meat platter, which — thru no fault oLicours—%aa been filled too full, or if ytiu happen to decorate the Immaculate splendor, of the cloth with a nice red polka dot of .cranberry juice, you’re in bad for the rest of the day, and maybe longer. “Of course, when such things happen the tablecloth is only serving the purpose for which it is put there, but that’s no excuse. ‘You ought to be more careful!’ This comes across the table in no uncertain tones. But it isn’t in the nature of news, because you’ve heard it plenty often before. “I say it is the business of a clean tablecloth to get dirty fCnd get wasned, and get dirty and get washed, and get dirty and get washed. But what I say doesn’t make any difference. 1 get in so bad every time a new tablecloth Is sprung at our house that in my love for the comfort of dirty ones I am becoming slovenly in my habits. So what I say is this: Either you ought to be affluent enough to have a clean tablecloth every meal, or two or three times a meal if necessary or desirable, or you ought' to be humble enough to be content to eat off of an oilcloth-covered table that can be swabbed off, without damage or distress of. temper.”