Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 57, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 March 1917 — A Quick Lunch Tragedy [ARTICLE]

A Quick Lunch Tragedy

“Say,” said the Pretty Cashier, “diu ypu ever stop .to think what a curious proposition this love thing is? Your ordering wheat cakes Just now made me think of it.” * The, Late Breakfaster leaned back into a more comfortable position ansi then demanded the connection .be tween wheat cakes and the tender passion. “You wasn't eating here when we had the cake griddle in the front win dow, was you?" asked the Cashier. 'Well, anyway, we did have it there, and Louie— he's our cake artist—cer tainly did draw a crowd around on the to watch him hop the wheat cakes. He put all kinds oi tanny juggling Into the job whenever he tuned a cake;, and it really wa» exciting to aee him sling up a cake, you’d wpnder whether it was go tag to land back where he wanted it to or somewhere out in the middle oi the floor. Lots of folks pass here, and it got so we had regular window cus tomers, as we called them, watching Louie. “Pretty soon 1 began to notice a couple of girls that ornh steady every day to look. 1 pointed them out to Louie and he said he had been notlc ing them, too. One morning when we had our 'Waitress Wanted’ sign out, what if those two lizzies didn’t come In and bone the boss lor a Job. “Both of them got it. too, mind you, And of all rushing waitresses you ever gave an order to they were it. They wanted to be sure to hpid the job, you see, so they could be arounu where Louie was. He knew it, too, and it made him-more big-heady than ever. But the stuck-upper he got the better wheat stacker he grew; and what with Looie getting the place noticeg from the outside and the two waitresses doing twice the work in here the boss thought he’d got a gold mine on his hands. “Things went on this way till Louie made up his mind he liked one of the new girls a little better than he did the other* and he started to shine up to her right away. They must have bean as good as engaged all right, be cause Louie began to coot around in Uie pawnshops for a bargain in a ring for her. He's a regular old crapk on that; he’ll hunt for a bargain in a second-hand set of false teeth. “Well, anyway, ae soon as Louie’s girl thought everything was all fixed up she decided that as aha was going to catch such a smart and famous yyfc-a .linger she’d better practice up gonie bright stunt herself, and she started to see how many full meals she could carry in from the kitchen at one time without mixing all oi them up in one big piece de relent less, as the French say. And, believe me, before very long she could waltz in here with an armload so big it * made my eyes pop out, and I’ve seen ~aome gifted geniuses in that-line. Honest to goodness, it was a caution the way .that girl coold balance the dishes. And when she’d sweep in with a pyramid everybody'd hold their breath, and Louie’d turn around with a smile, as much as to say: ‘Look, folks, Just see what loves me.’ “He was that way at first, but it wasn’t till 1 could notice what poetry fellers call a Crack in love’s joung dream. Say, would you believe itat Louie got jealous? Folks began to Stop noticing started to watch his sweetheart doing her great stunt with our pure food products. Lore's a queer thing, now, ain’t it? “Well, anyway Louie stopped nosing around the unredeemed pledges for a while and the match was off. He must have been ashamed to toll her why, because she kept Tight on with her performanosh Louie’s got an affectionate disposition, though, and right away he started to get chummy with the other waitress. And, say, didn’t poor girl proceed to kill all her chances of being Louie’s blushing bride by cultivating the same gift as the other girl and trotting in here with a tableful of orders blgger’n the other girl? “Maybe things didn’t hum around Here at feeding time! Both the ladies v-vrsT> determined to make Louie notice t hei for (hair «Vni, lid he was bound the public should prefer his turn to the girls’, and business certainly did rook Along. I honestly believe this jlim got to be as notorious as the Art Galkvy/fog, about two weeks. “It couiqn't last, though. Human nature couldn’t hold up under it, let alone tbs arms of those two Jhgjßtocrash came one morning In tfle middle of the breakfast crowd; and, believe waa a qrashltoo. They both , ame out of the kitchen at the same time, loaded to the muzzles with sup plies, and somehow they bumped to gether right in that open space .in frdnt of the counter. Honest to goodness, there was a long streak of nutriment the whole length of the place. “The entire row came out then, and the boss fired both of the balancing beauties. They're- working in different places now. “Then the Bom put the cuke griddle out in the kitchen again. Louie? Oh, ha’s here yet—he married the dishwasher. Thirty-five cents ter yours? Thank you. Ooodby."