Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 55, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 March 1917 — The Chase [ARTICLE]

The Chase

"A man's wife Is a terrible nuisance,” complained Wlzzert to- his client "I couldn’t get a bit of work done yesterday because my wife kept telephoning me about a sick cat 1 told her I had no time to bother with a sick cat, but she insisted that It was howling terribly and she couldn't stand it ••So I said: 'Phone the pound master and tell him to come and take it away.’ She called me again in a little while and informed me that the pound master wouldn’t take the oat unless It waJT boxed up. I told her to box It then. She said boxing sick cata wasn’t In her linp. but she would try it. Later she communicated the intelligence that her efforts to box the cat had failpd, but that It was bottled up under her neighbor’s doorstep. »My wife had chased that cat into Mra. Dreadnaught’s garden, where it had laid itself down an the hyacinth bed . Mrs. Dreadnaught had turned the hose on it, and it had 1 fled under her doorsteps. I told my wife to ask the pound man if he would accept bottled cats, and if so to have him come and get it. “When I got home that afternoon 1 saw signs of a big commotion. The pound man’s wagon was drawn up the street in front of our house and I caught a glimpse of my wife making gestures and a brigand kneeling in a fern bed •at her feet by Mrs. Dreadnaught’s kitchen steps. I saw Mrs. Dreadnaught yanking another brigand off her dahlia bed. ■‘The brigand peered under the steps. I don’t Bee any cat,’ he said. “‘Take another look,' said Mrs. Dreadnaught. ' “ ‘Well,’ answered the brigand, he ha* dug-a hole under the steps.* “ ‘Pull him out,*' wdfi Mra. Dread-

naught "Tm afraid he’ll scratch me.’ «‘Two big, husky men afraid of a sick cat!’ Jeered Mrs. Dreadnaught. “The brigand assumed a coaxing tone. ‘Kitty, kitty, kitty!’ but kitty didn't fall for any of that soft stuff!’ By that time all the rest of the neighbors for three blocks around were on hand, and the big scene was on. “The brigand, kneeling at my wife's feet implored her for a hoe. A hoe was produced with alacrity. “Then the other brigand asked for a sack. “‘I suppose,' said Mrs. Dreadnaught, *i\ow that you have borrowed these, you can go ahead with the trick.’ “They did, the cat was hoed into the sack as if by magic, and away went bag, cat and brigand. “As Mrs. Dreadnaught looked over the wreck of her garden she announced that the next time she had a sick cat for the pound master she would express it to him.”