Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 48, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 February 1917 — SOME SMILES [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

SOME SMILES

The Popular Attitude. “You and your friend were arguing about peace, remember. YetJ*you nearly came Jo blows.” “Dbn’t jump to conclusions, sir. We were not arguing about a temporary truce, but permanent peace, and everybody, neutrals and belligerents alike, seems to think that’s worth fighting for.”

Willing to Learn.

“I’m going to •ask you a direct question and I want a direct answer,” said Miss Grabcoin.“Would you marry a woman for her money?” “Well,” replied Mr. Dobson, “I’m open to sugges- -. tions. Is there any other way to get it?”

~~ • ~ /'dill II - ■ ■ •/..-•' - -•-- , The Ways of Women. Tom—The ways of women are past all understanding. Jack —What’s the trouble now? Tom —While I was in the parlor alone with Aliss Plnkfeigh last night she lowered the gas and, thinking, it was a hint for me to propose, I did so and was refused. Jack—Huh! You ought to have known that negatives are* always devcloped in a darkroom. '„ Not to Be Considered. “Madam,” said the persuasive “I have here a household necessity. , The price is only Now— "■ “Before you go any further,” said the woman at the door, “let me show you why you are wasting your time.” “Very well, madam.” ‘lf you were not a stranger in towp you would know that I am married to ,a. man who never spcHds-anirkeiwith-out groaning. According to his point of view, nothing that costs $1 is . a hotues>ld necessity." •'I I ■ -

Class by Itself.

. “Thimblewit is going to be a ehautauqua star.” “Does he propose to instruct his audience or merely to entertain them?” “N either. He will play sel ecttons' on a xylophone.”

Form of Uplift. “A hundred-thousand-dollar post office in a town with a population of less than.3,ooo! That’s the way we do things in this country.” “Softly, brother,” said the practical politician. “That sort of ‘pork’ has a psychological effect.” “What do you mean?” “When this handsome post office was erected in Skiddersville prominent citizens who had never worn collars before began to spruce up and put on city airs.” And There Are Others. Scribbles —Jingled telfs me he Is something of a poet, jDrlblfles—Yes, that’s right. He writes boomerang poetry. Scribbles—What kind of poetry Is that? Dribbles—The kind that never fails to come back. - -.----