Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 42, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 February 1917 — Some Smiles [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Some Smiles

How.lt Is Done. “What does a man mean when he says he ls-tapering off?’” asked Mrs. Twobble. “He thinks he is slowly overcoming a bad habit,” answered Mr. Twobble. “Drinking, for instance ?” “Yes. He ‘tapers off 1 by reducing his allowance one day and making up fOF lost time the next.”

Asking Too Much. “The right sort of man takes pride In being the breadwinner of a family,” said the student of economic problems. “Of course,” replied the impecunious toller. “He would be proud and happy to provide the bread, and even the meat and a reasonable supply of wearing apparel. It’s when he’s called on to win talking machines, imported finery, motorcars and trips to Palm Beach that he gets grumpy.”

Still Honest. “Now, you think you are honest." “Sure.” “But what would be your first impulse if you found a package of SI,OOO bills lying in the street?” “Don’t you worry. I wouldn’t act on my first impulse.”

Loyalty.

—rrypu guy- Dlb--11 ng's allegiance- to his alma mater has never wavered?” “Never. Dobling~ has been out of college 2d years and he still borrow s money from his college chums exclusively.”

Tongue Twisted. “Last night Soaksby was telling me about a visit he once paid to the Phinks.” “You mean the Sphinx, don’t you?” “Of course, but Soaksby had had six or seven drinks and couldn’t say •Sphinx.’ ” ■ ' " **■ Simple Operation. “Is there really such a thing as thought transference?” “Oh, yes,” replied the literary person. “Could you give me a convincing demonstration ?” “Certainly. Drop in to see me some time and I will sit at my typewriter

and show you how to transfer a thought from my mind to a sheet of paper.” Quite a Lady.

“Mrs. Wopsley tries to create the impression that she is a most refined and cultured woman.” __ ‘Tv? noticed" that.” WnW Mrs. Wopsley makes use of her favorite expression, ‘Butting in,’ she doesn’t say ‘Buttin’ in,’ as common persons do, but sounds the final ‘g’ quite dis-

tinctly.” Flying High. “You say their honeymoon was a success?” “Undoubtedly.” “But aren’t most honeymoons considered a success?” “Perhaps so, but this couple had to wire back home three times for more money.” ___

Made Her Mad. “Did Miss Grabcoin seem impressed when you proposed to her, Dubson?” “Oh, yes. By Jove! I don’t believe I ever saw a person quite so angry before.”