Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 31, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 February 1917 — It Couldn’t Be Done. [ARTICLE]

It Couldn’t Be Done.

They were getting up a charity concert in the small provincial town, and the committee derermined to w Q*feg Hiard to make a great success of it. The local magnates and tradesman were called upon, and to one of the latter, a coal merchant whose place was somewhere in the . North, an appeal was duly made. "Ah’m very sorry,” was the coal merchant’s reply to the committee s representative, "but Ah’s stopped subscribing tae & these things.” . "Well, you’ll give us an order for an advertisement on the program?” suggested the caller. The coal merchant shook his head. 'Then a sudden inspiration seized him"Ah tell ye what Ahlll dae, tbo,” he said. Ah’ll get ma dochter tae sing for ye.” “Right you are,” said the other “What will I put her down for?” "Keep the Home Fires Burning.” "Can’t be done,” declared the concert many emphatically, folding up his papers, “If you won’t subscribe I’ll take jolly good care you get no free advertisement on our program.”