Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 15, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 January 1917 — SOME DEFINITIONS [ARTICLE]

SOME DEFINITIONS

Husband—One who must explain. Wife—A place to hang ornaments. -Gossip—What keeps a small town small. --•- ■— ■■■-.. ' ■ talk about in. dull life. •Bridge—A device for wasting one’s time for prizes. Society—An exhibition of the best people at tneir worst. ' War—An outdoor sport in countries where there has never been any game protect! om —— —— Newspaper—An excuse for not looking up wheti there is a lady standing Firewater—Something to play with after one has become too old to get any pleasure out of playing witb matches. ; Spinster—A woman who believes in freedom. —St. Louis Post-Dispatch.