Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 15, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 January 1917 — SOME SMILES [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

SOME SMILES

In Doubt. I “Do your views on public questions mebt with your wife’s favor)” '.“l’ve never been able to find out.” answered Mr. Twobble. “Whenever I voire nn opinion my wife’anereUUxumsa little tune. I don’t know whether -she does that to . express disapproval, or merely to show that she isn’t listening and doesn’t intend to.” NotWorthMentioning. “Tommy, you’ve been fighting again.” ‘ “I’d hardly call it that, ma.” “But I saw you through the window. You struck that llftle Glith'ers boy.” “An’ knocked ’im out the first lick. It takes two swappers to make it “fight, ma." - _. ■' Tough Luck.

“Hiram Shucker says a chap tried to sell him a sky- ’ scraper while he was up to the city last week.” _ “Did-Hiram fall fur that?” “Nope. But he fell in a coal hole while he was lookin’ the dur ne d thing over.”

Always in Same Place. “Conductor,” said the fussy old lady, “are you Sure this train will take me to Bunksvi 11 e?” " “I’m reasonably certain that it will, madam. I’ve been traveling this route for twenty, years, and to the best of my knowledge Bunksville has never eluded us yet." A Vicious Jah. “I understand Miss Sereleaf is thinking of getting married.” “That has been the understanding hereabouts for the past fifteen years,” answered the town gossip. Progress.

“Just out, old “Yep. I Wuz in quad up to a week ago.” “How much was yer bit?” “I did five years an’ learned a new trade.” “Goin’ ter reform, “Naw, I’m r goin' ter quit secondstory work an’ be a counterfeiter.”

Eternal Rest. “Y'oungeby seems to be an indolent fellow.” • ... “So he is.l suspect Loungeby’s Idea of heaven is a vast hotel lobby filled with big leather chain,, where a person can loaf forever without having the house detective sneaking about and casting suspicious looks at him.” Speaking Roughly. . The Subaltern—Let me introduce my fiancee, old man. His Friend —Best congratulations! The Subaltern—l’ve known her since she was in pinafores. His Friend (trying to say the right thing)—So you can be sure you are, not buying a pig in a poke !—London Opinion.