Evening Republican, Volume 20, Number 309, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 December 1916 — Old Shoes [ARTICLE]

Old Shoes

“I wish you would look across- the street l'" exclaimed Mrs. CbuddicoU. Chudlcott came and looked. “Do you see that old pair of shoes In the gutter?’’ said Mrs. Chudoicott. "Isn’t that a lovrly way to ornament the front of a house? Wouldn’t the Gin look nice strewn with old shoes from one end of it to the other?’*. “What’s the significance of it, anyway?*’ asked Chuddicott. “This isn t Christmas. I have bqard that the Dutch put out old shoes for Santa Claus to fill. But this isn’t Holland, either, so I don’t understand it. Perhaps the people living there don’t know that their shoes have escaped. Or perhaps there is a child visiting there and the child has beten cutting its teeth on them.” “No, they must have been put Ibere for the street cleaners to pick up v'hen they come along,” said Mrs. Chuddicott. “There’s a theory that the htreet cleaners come along and carry away all dirt from the gutters. According to theory, the jjtreet cleaners come every day, but those shoes have been there days!” “I know it! Those two old shoes look quite pathetic! They have served their master well and now at last they are turned out into the street! I am surprised trie Trimmers, eccentric as they are, would have old shoes on guard in front of their palacial home for several days! Perhaps they don’t know rtiey are there. Do yqji think .we should tell them?”' • “No they mignt think we were com plaining. “I have it! Trimmer threw them at a cat, altho it seems strange that they should have landed side by side like that. If I could be sure that he had thrown them at a cat I would place them neatly on his front steps, wheA te could get them back, for he may want them again. A mar '' f ten lives t(. say: ‘Oh, how I wish I had the shoes that once I threw away!’ But whether a dog brought them there or not, some dog will probably happen along and demolish, them tomorrow so they will no longer offend your sight.’’ “I think I begin to see why they are there!” said Mrs. Chuddicott. ‘Mrs. trimmer set them out there so some reedy wayfarer could pick them up and wear them!” “A very pretty custom!” declared Chuddicott. “But no one gets my old shoes, no matter how needy he may be. I think too much of them However, we might hang a couple of old straw hats or my bathing suit on the .tree in front of our house for some poor fellow.’’

A Puzzle “I’m up against it all right,” said Topper to his neighbor, Footin. “The ranary’s dead. My wife was very particular about that bird and I said I wo,:’d take goqd care of it during her absence. She will think I don’t love her very much to let her beautiful bird die,’’ “Don’t let it worry you,” said Footin “That’s easy. The day before your wife gets back go and buy a new bird and she’ll never know the difference. One canary is as good as another.’’ “Well, I never paid endugb attention to the confounded bird to notice particularly- what size it was. I couldn’t p.ck out another just like it.” “Go get the dead one and take it to the bird man and have it duplicated. That’s easy.” “But the bird is clean gone. The cat ate it.’’ “Gee whiz! That is bad. Go to the same dealer she bought it from and he will. perhapK remember and duplicate it” “I do not know where she bought it.” “Well, then, buy any big, fat canary. That will be safe. She will think you were smart to take such skillful care of her bird as to make it big and fat. v ou will make quite a hit with her “Of course if you were to go and tyiy a thin, measly canary, she would thinks >eu were not good. But by pointing with pride to a big fat one you can be safe. You must get, a good singer; a better singer than the old one was. That will make a hit, too, and you can tell her something lie this: ‘ln Older to B et the best results the singing canary should be fed with care. I find that the best results are obtained by feeding ft • ' “Wait a minute. Our bird might not 1 ave been all yellow. There may have been some black marks "on it. What about (hat? As soon as she sees there ere no black marks on the bird she will hold me up in scorn.” "Not necessarily. You can teli her that by scientific feeding you have been able to eliminate all blemishes, and she will think you are a wonder. She will be so impressed with your su perior efficiency that she will turn-the care of the canary over to vou for all time.” * “That’s all very well, but I don’t know whether the bird was male or female and my wife does. If she goes away leaving a male bird and come* back finding it a female bird she’li b* pretty mad at me for pulling black a t on her dear little birdH»»« It wor, t make anv kind of a hi', at ail.’’ “Then the oniy thing yon can do is Darn the house down.” “I can’t .even do that for she 11 blame me for pot saving her poor IttUe bird.” Our Idea of a hustler is a man who can work as fast ali day as he ran d r ess in a cold room in the morning.