Evening Republican, Volume 20, Number 308, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 December 1916 — A Great Care [ARTICLE]

A Great Care

“I* have just been reading an article fin the care of the hippopotamus, ’ observed Proper. “I had no idea that these valuable beasts required such expert attention and such exacting— ’ “We Jknow all about it” interrupted Zoob. "Hippopotamus caretakers are born, not made. You have to be born to But did you eveV try to take care oi a kid?’’ “Let me tell you you have to be born to that, too, and what’s more, you have to be born a woman to hold down the job. Ltook care of my youngster while my wife went down to the dentist’s the other day. “My wife said that all L had to do jvas to keep him busy, keep him occupied. There is no wood to chop, so 1 put him to work watering tbe lawn.” “Just a minute,’’ said Proser, mark Ing his place in the magazine. “How old is the kid?” “Four," answered Zoob. “The worst nge of all. I didn’t start him watering the front lawn. Something warned me that that wouldn’t do. But I gave him the hose in the back yard and told him to water the lawn. In a few minutes I went out to see what ho was doing and found that I had left the cellar open and he was watering tbe cellar. "I put a stop to that, closed the cellar door and went back to my paper. ( hadn’t read very long before a feeling came over me that all was not well. I weDt out and found that he had disco* r fcred a hole in the wall of the woodshed and was watering the wood. I put an end to that and went bafek to my' leading. In about two minutes I had a presentiment of some fresh outrage and investigated. H 6 was squirting watei into the garbage can and watching it tircle around and around. I took the hose away from him. The grass was mostly dry, as he had found so many things to water instead of the lawn. Only in one spot had he watered the grass, but he had been so persistent there that he had mined out a lot of mud by the hydraulic process, which mud was running down on the neighbor’s walk. I dreaded to think of what the consequences would be. “I couldn’t think of any other stunts for him so told him to play in the yard and not to go away. Two seconds later he was clean out of sight. I chased all over the neighborhood, calling and whistling, and all the neighbors turned out to help me. He bad apparently been whisked hway. “In the midst of the hubbub he was discovered right in the yard sitting on the ground. He was playing with a couple of sticks fastened together and be was so absorbed that he hadn’t heard me calling him, altho my voice usually carries a mile, and must have carried farther than that on this occasion when I was so boiling mad and excited. “Never tal to me any more about the hippopotamus requiring expert attention.”