Evening Republican, Volume 20, Number 287, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 December 1916 — All GOT ON BOARD [ARTICLE]

All GOT ON BOARD

MONKEYS INDUCED TOPERS TO CLIMB WATER WAQON. Disciples of Bacchus "Swore Off* Strong Liquor Whert New York Case Was Invaded by a Swarm of Playful Bimlans. When It cornea to furnishing a “never again” incentive, pink lizards witk green eyes have nothing on the ordinary or garden variety of take it from divers erstwhile customer* of a case down Broadway, remarks the New York Telegraph. The aforementioned former disciples of Bacchus tried out the treatment on a recent afternoon and know whereof they speak. It was along about three o’clock that Mr. and Mrs. George McFadden and Mrs. E. T. Connaughty walked up the street past the case In question, when Mrs. McFaddeu's attention was attracted to a vendoi of animals who offered his wares from the curb./ Mrs. McFadden already possessed a parrot and a dog, both of which she keeps In her apartments, but a menagerie is never so large there Isn’t room for one more. Accordingly, when she spied several tiny monkeys peeping out from various pockets of the vender she Instantly decided she must have one forthwith for her very own. Friend husband agreed and the salesman tendered the most diminutive specimen of bis collection. Ills hand proved a bit unsteady, however, and the young animal was dropped to the sidewalk, where it set up a terrific howling that galvanized all his sisters and brothers into Instant action. The animals sprang from their hiding places in the vender’s coat and made for the nearest haven of refuge, which chanced to be the case. Nearly two dozen patrons of the place were leaning in various attitudes of ease about the mahoguny bar as the monkeys entered. The first man to see the animals glanced a second time In a startled manner and then turned hastily to his neighbor to loudly discuss the weather, lest the other should notice his strange manner. When several of those present had noticed the Invasion, however, the first sightseer gained a bit more courage and he was able to ask in a rather squeaky voice: “Say, fellows, do any of you see what I do?” Upon being assured they did, he gained more courage and turned to tuke a second look. By this time, however, the band of Intrepid invaders had begun to feel more at home and two of them were already making free with the bar, while a third was getting Into intimute acquaintance with a vast >array of cut glassware that flanked the shiny mirror behind the mahogany. One of the glasses was accidentally, upset and the sounding of crashing glass seemed to unloose all the pent-up energy In the bodies of the animals. A wide sweep of the paw sent a dozen expensive glasses following the first one and his brethren turned to with a will to help out on the work of demolition. Before the vendor could corral his pets, the case resembled a set for a Kansas cyclone scene, and the two dozen patrons were In full flight. Finally the animals were collected and the damage estimated —but the patrons did not return. They were down at the corner holding a solemn conclave. “How about it?” one of them asked his fellows. “We’re with you,” they all intoned. “Never again!” “