Evening Republican, Volume 20, Number 269, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 November 1916 — Good Schemer's [ARTICLE]

Good Schemer's

"J am surprised that you have let a numbskull like that get ahead of you,' said Mrs. WalHpus to her son "Don’t you ever worry about a numskull m tilr.g ahead of you, my put in Wollipus. ‘When it comes to scheming a fool is there every time A man may have a powerful intellect * and a etTucalldri, Arid ltd iiiliy ; know a lot of people and things, and still not be able to scheme one-two-six ! alongside a perfect numbskull. "People without brains can outi scheme the very old Nick. I know what I’m talking about. Providence takes care of them. They never get ; left. If Simple Simon goes a-fishing he is getting out of work, and some kind person will be sure to come along and point out to him the best place 1 to fish. I "1 used to know aegirl who hadn’t as much sense as a middle man, yet she could outscheme Solomon himself. She could scheme herself into tlrf' good graces of the wisest old codger in the land, and m heme him out of his Imrdest working son for a husband. She could scheme herself into society, right into the best seat in the front .row. She could scheme herself into the sheltered nook on the sunny side in winter and into’ the shade in summer. "Worthy people walked while she rode, and went hungry while she'ate and fanned herself and reclined comfortably. “A numbskull can get as much out of life as a conjuror can get out of a stove-pipe hat. A female schemer can scheme a beau away from a more deserving girl any time. There is no help for it.” ‘‘That’s funny, dad,” interposed young Wollipus. “I heard ma say several times that there was a schemer after you when_she got you.’’ "Don’t you believe it,” said Wollipus. "If the schemer had wanted me she could have had me. Nothing could have saved me. Her scheme was not to get me, but to make your mother think she wanted to get me. "When your mother got the impression that the schemer wanted me she wrote a frantic letter to her aunt In Uruguay begging her to invite the schemer there for a visit, and torjgef her out of the way at any cost. “The aunt obligingly did so, which was precisely what the schemer want ed. She got a lovely trip, and all y’our mother got was a husband.” “Yes," sighed Mrs. Wollipus. ‘She got the -best of it, all right. She got on the good side of my aunt and will inherit all her money.” - "Which goes to prove just what 1 -«ud/’ -observed Wollipus, calmly.