Evening Republican, Volume 20, Number 262, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 November 1916 — IS MODERN MILES STANDISH [ARTICLE]

IS MODERN MILES STANDISH

Bashful West Virginia Youth Speaks Proposal Into Phonograph and Sends Record to Sweetheart. It is too bad to have to climb up and remove the laurel wreath from the beetled brow of Miles Standish. His has always been a name to thrill the youth of the seventh grade and the inroads he made upon, the Indian population of New England entitle him to a high place in the hall of fame. That little piece of love-making which he carried on with Priscilla, with John Alden as his proxy, has long appealed to the hosts who look upon bashfulness as one of the attributes of a brave warrior. Of course, Napoleon, Alexander and Antony weren’t particularly backward about their wooings and Richard IH was rather a parlor favorite in his way; but soldiers, that is, good American colonial soldiers, haVe usually been bashful. Washington was; he says so himself. And so was Standish. Both lost girls because they were too slow. But when it comes to downright dyed-in-the-wool bashfulness we must all stand back and let the ushers lead Alfred B. Manning of Parkersburg, W. Va., down to the front seat, says the Pittsburgh Gazette-Times. Gentlemen, bring forward the cruse of oil and anoint Mr. Maiming. Hand him the cake. Amid all these wars and rumors of wars comes from Parkersburg a story which alleges that Mr. Manning, unable to nerve himself to the point of asking a young woman to be his wife, spoke his little piece into a phonograph and sent her the record. ord. Putting it on his machine and cranking up, he released the mechanism and, while great beads of perspiration stood upon his brow, he heard the little oak doors emit the tingle word “Yes.” To the captious, Mr. Manning’s methods* might be considered as smacking too much of Indian customs. It will be recalled that the aborigines, meaning to declare war, would send their enemy a snakeskin filled with bullets. ‘But these critics are too harsh; proposing by phonograph is businesslike, to the point and sanitary. It may lack some of the sentiment, but it accomplishes the purpose. It fetches home the matrimonial bacon. We sincerely hope that in the years to come Mr. and Mrs. Manning will have no occasion to smash the record!