Evening Republican, Volume 20, Number 261, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 31 October 1916 — Page 3

TOMMY ATKINS ENTERTAINS ALL LONDON WITH HIS CHEERINESS

Wounded Men, Just Back From France, the Most Optimistic, But They Won’t Discuss Their Hurts or Adventures—There is Much Rivalry Between the Canadians and Australians < and Sometimes They Settle Doubts With Fist Fights —Theaters Reflect Hopeful Attitude of People.

London— Notwithstanding the wellnigh total darkness of the nights and the number of wounded seen upon the streets, London life is not without its lighter shades, even in these crucial days of the great war. One reason for this is that the wounded soldiers are about the most cheerful lot London has ever known. Most of those encountered along the Strand, in Piccadilly and other promenades of the West end are from Canada, Australia or New Zealand. The wounded English Tommy is more often found in the suburbs, in the neighborhood of his old home. “ It would seem decidedly out of place to sympathize with these often permanently crippled men in hospital togs, for that is apparently the last thing they desire. As a matter of fact, they deeply resent it as a rule. In crowded tram or tube cars women often rise and offer seats to wounded soldiers, only to have them politely but very firmly refused. Nor will the men ordinarily talk of where they “got it.” “Oh, somewhere out in No Man’s Land,” they’ll say. One chatterbox of a Tommy went so far as to add: “I was ’opping along from one dugout to another w’hen I ups and stumbles over something ’ard. I guess it must ’a been a bomb. Anyway, it blew me bloomin’ foot off.”

A popular young Canadian officer in mufti and on crutches recently swung_ his way with no little difficulty into the lounge room of a hotel in the Strand. His left leg was shattered from the knee down and hung stiff and helpless in steel braces. “Have something, Livvy?" asked one of his fellows in khaki. “Sorry, but I can’t tonight, old man,” replied Livvy; “you see I have got a crippled friend to look after.” In came the friend, an even younger officer with right leg gone at the knee. “We tossed a coin,” explained Livvy, “to see which one of us wofild look after the other, and I lost.” t

But He Came Back.

In this same hotel, which is a sort of headquarters for the officers from across the sens, a report was circulated one night of the death of a young flying corps captain. He had often been in the “club," and only a few days before had “swanked” quite a bit about the easy life he was living. All he had to do was to take new machines across the channel and turn them over to the aviators at the front; in this way he spent about every other day in London, much to the envy of the other fellows “over there” who were longing for the sights of town. But now Gil was gone and a company of his friends drank a silent toast to his memory. Three days later Gil created consternation at the club by appearing very much alive and as hale and hearty us ever. “Why, you old cheater,” shouted one of his friends, “go back where you belong or pay us for that very expensive

HERE’S AN 8-FOOT BALLOT

New York troops on the Texas border will use a ballot eight feet Tour inches ballot ever used, and is the first "war ballot" since the troops were fighting on Cuban soiL

‘round’ we had the other night. What right have you to be living, anyway?” Gil admitted the obligation entailed by his return from the grave, paid it handsomely, and is still flying new machines cross-channel for the “wingers” at the front. Another young Canadian of the flying corps told of a joke he had played on the folks at home. He had not written for nearly a month, when along came a cablegram: “No letters for weeks. Is anything wrong with the boy?” Promptly he had cabled .back “collect “Very serious matter. Boy absolutely broke. Send much money.” "That,” explained “boy,” “ought to stop them worrying for a while.” Instances of the lightness of heart with which the soldiers go into the war are many. In embarking for active service the Canadians are given pay books in which their allowances

KING GEORGE WATCHING BOMBARDMENT

King Gebrge of England at the front watching the effect of a bombardment of an enemy position.

are entered from time to time. The book also serves for Identification purposes, and the last page Is set aside for the making of .a will. Some of those that have turned up lately have proved grimly humorous. One said: “I give everything I have to the Home for Stray Cats, London, provided they don’t take in any more black cats.” . f “In case I should die —(cheers) —I will everything to my mother (loud and prolonged cheers).” Both were held to be valid.

Australian Band Good. At a re-enforcement camp “somewhere in Fiance,” the Australian contingents have a fine brass band they brought with thgmefroin home. The band lias become famous In the vicinity, for whenever the Australian group is called up, no matter how small It is, the band always is there to give the men a musical sendoff. Usually this occurs at 4 a. m., a fact which adds materially to the renown of the band. Part of the line of march Iles beside a general field hospital, and invariably the nurses, or ’ “sisters,” as the soldiers call them, turn out to wave a parting salute. “Save me a nice bed, sister!” called out one of the Tommies a day or two ago. “I’ll be back in a few minutes!” Oddly enough, he was.

The London theaters reflect the spirit of the times. Serious plays are all but forgotten, “revues" and musical comedies holding the boards at all the better houses. Of course, there are no chorus men In the productions —a new evidence that cruel war has its alleviating circumstances.

Some of the London papers have recently complained that the British hen has taken on a holiday mood and is distinctly not “doing her bit.” The price of eggs accordingly has risen to an-equtvalent-of^G^eents-a-dozen. lonials are again to be called upon to help out, and it is admitted now that much depends upon the Canadian chicken. * ® There, is a rule in London that except Tn emergency cases, military ambulances must not exceed five miles an hour. This slow pace, designed for the comfort of the wounded, sometimes

THE EVENING REPUBLICAN, RENSSELAER, IND.

proves irksome to them. One badly shattered Tommy lifted his head from the stretcher a few days ago and hailed the chauffeur, "i say, would you mind driving a bit faster; this ain’t no bally funeral.” There is also the story of Tommy Dodd, the most cheerful and indomitable little fellow in'his command. Tommy was badly laid out a day or two ago with four or five nasty shrapnel wounds. He was arranging some barbed-wire standards along toward evening, and in the enthusiasm of his work got a bit -nearer- -“W-hix*- Bang Corner” than he should. A shell burst low overhead and went down in a cloud of dust. "Looks almost like a Blighty for me, sir, don’t it?” he said to an officer who ran to his rescue. Then the stretcher men came along to bear Tommy away to the dressing station. Tommy gave a grim little smile as they straightened up. “Home, James,” he sighed. 1 "" ' 1

Rivals in Fist Fight.

Soldier stories of amusing happenings at the front are many. There is considerable rivalry among the Canadians and the Anzacs —the men from Australia and New Zealand. The English think they are both such good soldiers there is little to choose between them. This incident happened nt a canteen some time ago when the

Australians first came to the western front. Several Canadians were within when they espied the wide-brimmed campaign hats that distinguish the Anzacs from ell the other Soldiers. The Canadians gave their fellow cor lonials a hearty welcome and an equally hearty invitation to “have some-

thing.” These fraternal details having been attended to, a Canadian turned to one of the Australians. “When did you fellow’s come over?” he asked. “Just got in this morning,” “Well, what are you going to do?” This was too good an opening for the Anzae. “Oh,” he said in a “swanky”, tone, “we came over to finish what you fellows started.” “Humph,” replied the Canadian, “it’s a wonder you didn’t first finish what you started yourself down at Gallipoli.” Then the trouble began. It was a Donnybrook affair for a time, but eventually peace was declared with renewed and mutual respect for colonial fighting ability.

Deadly Night Raids. Both Canadians and Anzacs delight in the nocturnal raids made almost every night on the close-lying German trenches. On one of these recently a Canadian lieutenant worked his way unseen to an enemy dugout and suddenly peered over the top. It was a nasty, rainy night, cold and damp, and a group of Germans were seated about a little stove.

“How many of you felows down there?” called out the Canadian in. a raucous voice. “Nein,” came back a startled asd ambiguous reply. “Well, share that among you,” shouted the Canadian as he hurled a bomb into their midst and threw himself flat on the ground to avoid the effects of the explosion.

There is one chaplain at the front who insists upon living up near the firing line. He has a nicely fitted-up little dugout that he has labeled “The J’icarage.” Recently two men belonging to a draft fresh from home —Cockneys they were—happened along this particular trench. ■ . —"Look here, Bill,” cried one, “blimey if ’ere ain’t a bloomin’ vicarage.” Out popped the padre at that with half his face lathered and a razor in one hand. “Yes,” he said, “and ’ere’s the bloonain’ vicar. What can I do for you?” William H. Gannett of Augusta, Me., is building a one-room house in a large tree on his estate.

POINTED PARAGRAPHS

When a sculptor makes a cast he fishes for fame. It is sometimes difficult to bring ■ girl of the period to a stop. A painful silence Is unknown to men —but women know it. A homelike hotel is the kind a married man usually tries to avoid. After a girl marries she loses interest in curl papers and fairy stories. Small favors are thankfully received and often unthankfully remembered. The ocean of life is filled with breakers ; that’s why so many men go broke. Don’t think for a minute that actors and actresses kiss every time they make up. All man’s best deeds and all of his worst may be attributed to a woman's influence. Gold is said to be so malleable that It can be beaten as thin as the ham in a railway sandwich. There is less wear and tear on a woman’s mind than on a man’s probably because she changes it oftener. If a rich man tell you that the greatest happiness is to be found in poverty, remind him of what David said in.his haste.—Chicago Daily News.

QUIET THOUGHTS

Schools for scandal are _ somewhat Struggling to get rich keeps many a man poor. Nothing ever takes such a hard fall out of worry as hard labor. Once in a great while a cook gets contrary and refuses to quit. You can save a lot of carfare by letting your thoughts travel for you. No man ever got a pain in his back from carrying his neighbor’s burdens. Some men are so mean “that they even refuse to let their wives have the last word. Many a conservative man loses his money on a sure thing because he is afraid to take chances. Comparatively few people remain in the self-satisfied class after they once get acquainted with themselves. No doubt more young men would be able to earn their own living if they did not have rich and foolish fathers to support them.

HUMAN NATURE

Pessimists thrive on disappointments. The hog is a squealer, but he never gives anything away. A man never respects a woman who doesn’t respect herself. Some men grieve tw-o dollars’ worth over each dollar they lose. Every man is generous to a fault —if it happens to be a fault of his own. The druggist would rather sell a pound of cure than an ounce of prevention. The barber always tells a hairraising story when he tries to sell a bottle of his tonic.

TAKING JOY OUT OF LIFE

Lending your safety razor to the man upstairs. Bel ng on the calling list of 25 or 80 Insurance agents. Reading a flowery obituary of a man who had owed you $27 for an equal number of years. Going on your first automobile ride of. the year and blowing out a tire nine miles from hoifie? ■■ p “ lb Having some kind old lady show a tintype of you when you were five years of age and wore curls. Having a next-door neighbor who owns one of those cute little wooly dogs that snap at your shins.

FROM OUR NEW DICTIONARY

Gossip—Deadly gas that Is often fatal to friendship. Statistician —A man who can prove that figures always He. T ■ i ■ ’*’**• -« Hnnunnej>~An article used as a spoonhqlder at a love feast. Matrimony—-A sort of trust for the protection of infant Industries. Rees use —Eve’s legacy to her daughters as an excuse for tbfe irtxcusable. —lndianapolis Star. •-

1,100 Slain By Trains in Year Because They Look But Do Not Stop and Listen

Commisiioner of Agriculture, Miaaoun Pacific Railroad

A woman who was driving on a country road concluded that she had plenty of time in which to cross the track in front of an approaching train; so she whipped up her horse, to make sure, and got on the crossing just as the train swept over it—and her. A man in an automobile in a town, through a like mistake of judgment, met with the like result. Yet both were ordinarily careful persons and of perhaps rather more than average intelligence. In each case the train was in plain view a quarter of a mile away and the whistle was sounded repeatedly. They were not allowed to overlook the train’s approach; they knew it was coming. But they were so absolutely convinced that they could get across in ample time that they persisted until it was too late to stop. More than 1,100 persons were killed in this way on American roads last year. They look, but they do not stop and listen. 1 hey were not killed because they didn’t see the train coming, but because they did see it. This is what happens in nearly all such cases. The person looks at the train and quickly makes up his mind what to do. The train is a quarter of a mile away, and the person is one-tenth that distance from the track or 132 feet. Therefore the train is passing across his line of vision at a -very sharp V-shaped angle. Consider this for a moment. If you stand in the track facing an approaching train it seems to be standing still except for the smoke. Move off from the track 132 feet and the train going 50 miles an hour will move up apparently at the rate of five miles anhour. . _ —• ——" — Of course this apparent speed rapidly approximates the actual speed as the train draws nearer, but to the unthinking and inexperienced person who merely glances at it, the impression received is apt to be five miles an hour. That this is at the bottom of most crossing accidents is evident when it is considered that by far the most of them occur on a straight track and where the train is in plain sight. The person that cannot see a train listens, but the person who can see it does not listen and sees wrong. The simple problems of apparent and actual speeds of approaching trains at various angles of vision and speeds and distances should be printed in all school arithmetics and taught and illustrated in all schools so that the coming generation of men not only may be forewarned and forearmed, but may go home in the evening and forewarn and forearm the present one.

Creation of Tariff Commission By Congress Result of Popular Demand

After eighteen months of strenuous campaigning for a permanent, nonpartisan tariff commission, during which we succeeded in securing the support of over seven hundred organizations, representing every phase of activity, with a membership of over six millions of voters, nearly half of which was represented by agricultural organizations, our efforts were crowned with success. The demand to ‘ take the tariff out of politics” found a ready response everywhere. Ninety-two per cent of approximately two thousand publications to which the plan was subinitted approved it and gave it strong support. Popular demand was so great and the need for such a body so obvious that the president came out in support of such a commission, and in June, for the first time in history, both of the leading political parties, in their respective platforms, indorsed the plan without qualification. The Rainey tariff commission bill became a law September 8. If the president is. fortunate in the selection of the commissioners, this legislation will make history. It will gradually destroy the tariff as a political issue, and such tariff changes as may be required from time to time will be made upon definite and authentic information instead of upon pull and guesswork. When the commission shall have gathered all the essential information upon the subject of tariff, analyzed, classified and indexed the same, and set it forth in plain English, the voters of the country, at the polls, will determine a permanent tariff policy, and the rates will be adjusted to it. This is what occurred in European countries afte’r full information had been gathered, and it is what will occur here. This measure should prove a great piece of constructive legislation. There is another feature: It is perhaps the best example of recent years of the people forcing legislation from congress. It shows conclusively that the people rule when they will to do so.

Federal Control Alone Can Prevent Exhaustion of Our Petroleum Supply

The government and people of the United States are making a grave mistake by not paying more attention to the further development of its petroleum supply. I am convinced that unless the proper authorities take hold of this matter and institute radical changes from present methods the supply, of this product will be exhausted within fifty years. I say this because during the last three decades motor vehicles and different grades of engines which use enormous quantities of petroleum annually have come into being, making petroleum and its products of the most vital importance from an industrial standpoint. Then again, the development of our navy during the past year calls for almost an unlimited supply of petroleum, for which there is no substitute, as fat as I know, and if ( this country is to be sincere in jts advocacy of “a greater preparedness,” it must adopt a vigorous and farreaching policy of conserving its supply of petroleum. It is not only necessary that we have enough on hand for the present, but we should be prepared for the future. The exhaustion of our petroleum supply would affect every home within our boundaries. Everyone uses it in one form or another. There is no line of business that does not demand the use of petroleum, and if the oil pools were to run dry tomorrow nearly every industrial wheel not only in this country but in the world, might cease to revolve. The production of the world at present is about one million barrels a day. Nature cannot replenish this supply without the aid of conservation and active scientific study. It is possible that the world supply will be exhausted within the lifetime of our children, and. there is no pCMh Bible solution for such a contingency except federal control.

By GEORGE K. ANDREWS

By H. H. GROSS

President of the Tariff Communon League

By JAMES K. McMANNUS,

Petroleum Expert