Evening Republican, Volume 20, Number 251, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 October 1916 — Page 2

HAPPENINGS

Argentina Man Loses Pet Chameleon in Gotham

NEW YORK. —If you should happen to see a chameleon that appears to be lost wearing a gold wire about its neck, will you please notify Senor L. <J. Sedlva of Buenos Aires, who Is at the Majestic hotel? The chameleon, as everyone knows, changes its color reg-

tieman in 697 has lost a simoleon—a buck —a round iron dollar —go up and help him find it.” Two bellboys essayed the task. They found Senor Pediva, with every evidence of an exceeding grief, standing in the middle st the room. He , moved carefully toward them and begged them to walk cannily, for the chameleon changes its color. The honest bell hops looked at each other. They are not students of habits of wild animals, birds or reptiles. “It mav have walked into the bathroom,” suggested Senor Sedlva. “Say.” muttered one of the boys, “what’s this guy lost, a circus or a dollar? He talks as if he was missin’ his ’flivver.’ ” “He’sLgot travelin’ money,’’ suggested the other. And then Senor Sedlva said: .« “It has been long a pet of mine, and was so tame and well behaved. With one accord the bellboys went down to the office and made expressive gestures toward their craniums. The clerk himself went up and found out that it was not a dollar, but a tame chameleon that was lost.

New York Has the Only Real Chinese Vagrant

NEW YORK.—The next time you go to Chinatown if you happen to see a weather-beaten little old Chinaman with a tattered gray overcoat that almost reaches the ground, a peaked cap pulled over his eyes and sho,es that

make you think of Charlie Chaplin, take a good look at him. He is a character. The policemen call him One Bum, because he is the only Chinese vagrant known to exist, but his real name Is Charlie. He has been in Chinatown three years; he hasn’t any home and so far as anybody knows he hasn't changed his clothes in that time. In the summer he carries the overcoat on his arm and uses it as a pillow at

night. When cold weather comes One Bum sleeps over a grating on the sidewalk down on Chambers street. The warm air from the engine room rises through the cracks and If it isn’t exactly cozy it is better than a cold doorway. "One winter two years ago the policy thought they ought to take care of him and’they persuaded him to spend a few months on Blackwell’s Island. ••Fine vacasche! Three meals every day; warm bed!” they told him. He unsuspiciously accepted the Invitation. Too late he discovered that he had been betrayed. They made him work. He ha 4 to push a wheelbarrow full of stone and long before his time was up he was nearly bent double doing it. “Vacasche I” he still exclaims indignantly when the policemen stop him on the street. No more vacation for him. One Bum Is different in one way from the common or Bowery variety of the species. If you give him a dime he doesn’t run into the nearest saloon. He will go to one of those places where ten cents buys a square meal and coffee.

Jamaica Bay Residents Have Great Whaling Bee

NEW YORKt-A perfectly good-natured whale 65 feet long has fallen a victim of assault by swarms of amateur whalers in Jamaica bay. The whale became stranded on the reefs of Jamaica inlet, and the residents about the bay boldly assaulted the great sea

explained that he meant a cow whale. Then the atmada of rowboats and launches set off. It was a merry battle. One man opened up with a 22caliber rifle, which annoyed the whale so that she flapped her talland upset three rowboats. The sport was safe enough, for the waters were shallow and the sandy reefs soft. There was much argument about Jamaica bay. Everybody claimed the carcass, with its blubber, sperm' and bone. The body is said to be worth a material sum, and so many persons had a hand in slaying the whale that, divided up, the sum would be insignificant.

Burglar Fishes for Plunder With a Bamboo Pole

CHICAGO. —A burglar who uses a bamboo pole 11 feet long to fish through open first-floor windows for plunder Is the latest addition to methods of Chicago crookdom. George W. Skeeles, 5540 Michigan avenue, was awakened

In his 'bedroom on the first floor to see his trousers riding on the end of the pole toward the open window. He leaped and caught and held both trous- " The thief at the other end of the pole let go of It and disappeared into the night. “It beats anything I ever heard of,” Mr. Skeeles said. “I told the Fiftieth street police about it, and I have the bamboo pole here in iw home If they doubt my story. It hourfir It a good idea to report my experience,

for it may account for other first-floor burglaries. Mr. Skeeles found a toilet article on the bedroom floor, and he said he probably was awakpned when the burglar accidentally knocked it off the dresser with the end of the pole while “fishing” for loot. .Now the police are watching for the “fishing burglar.”

If you want to be a Samson, a Hercules or a Sandow, you should get up at five o’clock in the morning and saw a cord of wood before breakfast. 7 This is the advice of George D. Percy, Harvard’s strong man, the Boston Post states. I “When I was a freshman in high sehopl,” the young giant said, “I found that sawing wood developed my muscles better than anything else, and aa soon as I could stand that much exercise I tackled a cord every morning before I went to school.” When Percy entered high school he was what might be called \a> small boy, and as he unfolded the story of his physical development it became apparent that it was persistency |hat has developed him and crowned him the Hercules of harvard. 4 As a matter of fact it has taken eight years pf the hardest kind of work to bring him to his goal. Percy is not a big fellow, but his arms and shoulders are wonderfully developed. He is twenty-one years old apd weighs only 156 pounds, whereas most Harvard strong men of the past have weighed at least twenty pounds mora. •

SAWING WOOD FOR STRENGTH.

ularly, according to Its environment. Senor Sedlva carelessly opened the little cage In which he keeps—or kept—his pet and left the room. When he returned the chameleon Ijad left. He searched everywhere, and then telephoned wildly to the hotel clerk. “I have lost a chameleon,” he said. "Please send someone to l|elp 111 e it.” “Front!” said the clerk. “The gen-

animal with small-caliber rifles end —hatchets. —lt required-two hours of pounding and shooting to produce anything resembling death, and the whale was lashed to the shore with ma:»y ropes. “It’s the Bremen,” said many of those who first saw the whale as It wallowed in the shallow-waters. “It's a cow,” said Walter Bossard, who is the Jamaica bay murine authority. Everybody laughed Until Bossard

THE EVENING REPUBLICAN, RENSSELAER, JND.

Clever Management of Tailored Modes

If the trials of the tailor are increased because women grow constantly more exacting, his triumphs are assured because they also grow more discriminating. In the matter of street suits an achievement like that pictured is sure of appreciation. It proclaims its designer a master in the art of tailoring and alive to every new idea which has made itself evident in the styles of today. k_ This suit might be developed in any of the usual materials —serge, whipcord, gaberdine, broadcloth, etc., er in pile fabrics. Its skirt is plain and may be considered as authoritative as to length and width. The coat is severely plain and close fitting as to the body, with the skirt portion set on in inverted plaits. Two of these at each

Weavers of plushes and fur-fabrics appear to be designing their productions along independent*4ines this season. They have made some new departures and have turned out a number of patterns that are especially adapted to children’s and misses' wear. Those who produce coats for children give a prompt indorsement to these handsome novelties in plushes, and it is likely that the coats themselves inspire an enthusiasm for the material. They have the charm of beauty and novelty, and they are durable and comfortable. A handsome coat for a miss of eleven or so is pictured here. It is tn dark brown, flecked with white. As in coats for grownups it is cut bn simple lines with strAlght-hanging front, and the body set rather close to the figure- It Is long enough to cover the dress. Coats made of these novelty fabrics must be plain, and this one tells Its story in the picture. There Is nothing in the way of ornament except three small metallic buttons which are set on the belt at each side of the back, and two similar buttons at the front of the narrow standing collar. An abbreviated cape might ‘ t 1

In Plushes and Fur Fabrics

side are embellished with the nearest and most tailored of satin braids. It is of the approved length. The coat Is beautifully adjusted to the figure, and boasts an engaging eccentricity in its manner of fastening down the front. The opening curves from neck to waistline and fastens over buttons set close together. At the waistline It meets a narrow belt which is finished at the back with two buttons. The long sleeves with points at the wrists is finished with buttons, and the high, overlapping, crushed collar of velvet shows an original management of an accepted style. It is just these small details, managed with so much cleverness, that charm the woman who insists that her tailored suit must conform to the mode, in its general aspect.

be considered as merely ornamental, but it adds something of warmth where warmth is most needed. The “tam” of white corduroy is a happy choice in headwear to be worn with this coat, and for dress-up requirements white-topped shoes and white gloves will finish up a toilette quite above criticism. But the plush coat will give all sorts of servtee.Nothing will stand the strain of everyday wear better than pile fabrics of this kind.

Use of Kid.

Leather and kid as trimming are receiving serious attention from designers. This fashion will never become trqly popular, but there Is always a place for well cut belts, pocket flaps, cellars and cuffs of leather in the smarter coats and street suits. Bright green leather waistcoats are shown for sport wear -for men and they may indicate leather waistcoat* for women’s winter suits.

GOOD JOKES

FOLLOW-UP SYSTEM.

“I hear that Tightly has had a relapse. I thought that Doctor Squills cured him.”' “He did. Then he sent in his bill.”

The Sorrow of It.

Little lumps of anthracite, Little chunks of ice, Soon separate the multitude From the hard-earned price.

Appearances Are Deceptive.

“Do you see that old gentleman with the long white beard?” “Yes.” answered the patron of musical comedy. “They say he has discovered a number of stars.” “Well! Well I He doesn’t look as if he knew a dressing room from a telephone booth.”

Not Quite Hardened.

you are getting used to riding in your car?” "Yes, to a certain extent,” replied the amateur motorist. “Although I still feel some compunction of conscience when I see a pedestriap turn pale and make a flying leap for the curb.” . ' '

Highly Beneficial.

“Dubson is one of the most helpful neighbors I have ever had.” “You surprise me. No one else praises him.” TT - “It’s this way. He offers such a striking object lesson of what a good neighbor ought not to be that I am learning how to be a model neighbor myself—simply by not doing as he does.”

Ambitious Plans.

“I hope some day to see my name on billboards from Maine to California and from the great lakes to the Gulf.” “Are you an actor?” ■ "No.. I’m in the soap business. If I can get the necessary financial backing I’ll start an advertising campaign that will make this country sit up and take notice.” .

Scientific Work.

“I understand that you are very much interested in scientific experiments,” said the young man. “Your understanding seems to be all to the good,” answered the dear girl. “For years I have been trying to prove to my own satisfaction that germs cannot be transmitted by kissing.”

Missing.

Dribbles —That’s a fine desk you have there, old man. Scribbles—Yes, and so convenient, too. There’s a place in it for practically everything poems, paragraphs, jokes, short stories, etc. Dribbles —I see. But where is the place for original ideas?

SURE NOT.

No. 999 (reading)—Suddenly our hero found himself stepping into the bottomless depths ... I I I Shucks, nuthin’ like that ever happens to me 1

A Rare Spectacle.

“You say that campaign for sheriff of this county is being conducted on a high plane?” “It couldn’t be more genteel if the rival candidates were seeking the presidency of a young ladies’ seminary.’’— Birmingham Age-Herald.

Professional Tendency.

“Don’t you know managers always have mere or less of a cast in their eye?” i* , "What a squint that theatrical manager has.”

LIBERALITY REWARDED.

“Have you ever noticed Dubwalte order dinner In a fashionable restaurant?” "No. How does he go about it?” "Pointing at the bill of fare, he says, ‘Some of this, and some of this, and some of this’ till he reaches the bottom of the card.” “Ha! Ha!” “And the remarkable thing about It is that he always gets a meal that would delight an epicure.” “That might not be so remarkable if you knew how much he tips the waiter.”

Surreptitious Pleasure.

“Poor old Mr. Dadburn has my sympathy.” “Why so?" “He’s the father of a musical daughter who resorts to smelling salts every time Irving Berlin’s name Is mentioned in her presence.” “Well?” “And when the old gentleman sneaks over to a neighbor’s house to hear a little ragtime on their phonograph, he always comes home with a guilty look.”

“I try to be optimistic, but it’s a hard struggle sometimes,” said Mr, Gadspur. “For instance? 1 ’ “Well, I find it most difficult when some blithering idiot slaps me on the back so hard he knocks the breath out of me and then tells me to ‘cheer up.’ ”

Young Lady—A friend of mine is engaged to marry’a young man, and now he refuses to marry her. What would you advise her to do about it? Old Lawyer—ls the man wealthy? Young Lady-*-He hasn’t a dollar. Old Lawyer—Then I’d advise her to write him a nice letter of thanks.

MATRIMONIAL TRIALS.

“My wife is always contradicting me.'.’ “You’re in luck.” “Why?” “My wife acts as though my opinions were not worth contradicting.”

The path of life is filled with thorns For those who " try to find them, Who let each day’s mischances small To greater blessing blind them.

“Doppel is a fine illustration of the irony of fate.” “In wh&t particular?” “He has always aspired to a milt* tary career.” “Yes?” “And the nearest he ever got to it Was taking orders for a life of Napoleon in two volumes.”

Newed —I have an option on that Blank avenue house. How would you like it'for our future home, my dear? Mrs. Newed- —Oh, it’s a loVely place, all right, but you know‘lt Is said to be haunted. Mama says she wouldn’t set her foot inside the door for any amount of money. N^wed —If you are sure she said that, my dear, I’ll close the deal for it the first thing this morning.

"It is said that when a man is drowning he lives over his whole life in a few seconds.” “And despite the fact that the average life is a series of failures and disappointments, that doesn’t prevent him from reaching any the less eagerly for the proverbial straw.”

“Look at that old fellow.” “What about him?” “He’s worth a million dollars and never has a happy thought.” “Nonsense. Don’t you suppose h«. ever thinks about his million?”

Her —If you attempt to kiss me I shall scream for help. Him —You seem to have overlooked the fiict that,Jam an Athlete. Her—But what has that got to do with the case? Him —I don’t need any help.

Too Much Contentment.

“Darling, I could be satisfied in a hut with you!” “I believe you would. That’s the reason I’m going to marry George, f He won’t.” —Kansas City SUI% j

Easily Fretted.

Sensible Advice.

Misanthropes.

Sad Case.

Playing Safe.

Loath to Go.

He’s Bound To.

Equal to the Task.