Evening Republican, Volume 20, Number 229, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 September 1916 — Page 2

Gales of GOTHAM and other CITIES

How to Show the Sights of New York in One Day

NEW YORK. — How to show Now York in a day is a problem which has confronted many a resident of the city when his country cousins have appeared unexpectedly “for a visit." but in reality to see the metropolis. After many

ed States, the guide leads the way to a boat landing a few paces away and the party spends an hour crossing to Bedloe’s island, climbing part of the w*ay up the interior of the Liberty statue, and returning to Manhattan he proceeds up Whitehall street to the new customhouse and Bowling Green park. Where now stands a statue of the one-legged Peter there stood in Revolutionary days that leaden counterfeit of King George 111, which, as every school book says, was turned into bullets and sent hurtling after the fleeing redcoats. Turning east a block to Broad street, the guide points out the remodeled Fraunces tavern, where General Washington hade a tearful farewell to his officers. Going north to Wall street, the party views the United States subtreasury, the stock exchange, Trinity church, and at the same time sees some of the tallest skyscrapers. Then the guide leads the party northward in Center street to “Little Italy,” Chinatown ami the Bowery. Turning eastward they proceed through the streets congested with folk speaking alien tongues. After viewing the celebrated push-cart markets in the gutters of Hester street, they turn westward to Washington square, where they board a bus that carries them along “Millionaire row” on Fifth avenue, turning off at !■ iftyseventh street to Riverside drive and Grant's tomb.

Men of Sacramento Organize a Barefoot League

SACRAMENTO, CAL—Harkening back to the days when man roamed carelessly across- green pastures, unshackled by costly footwear, when cool, solid comfort met the naked foot at every step. and when corns and bunions

were unheard of, four prominent Sacramentans have formed what is . known as the Sacramento Barefoot league. There are four charter members of the league, and they are Dr. Robert E. Smith, James McCollough, L. O. Lumry and Steve Downey, The league was organized in quite an unintentional way. Which of the four was the originator is not known. But it is intimated that Doctor Smith, for several years advocate of the

Coatless Summer League for Men, had something to do with it. The requirements of the league are these: No member must be too modest to display his bare feet. He must be without pedal covering in attending meetings. He must be willing to do. and enjoy, walking on his lawn before the assembled multitude, including his wife, unshod. He must be willing to "step into his neighbor’s house in his bare feet and walk across his neighbor’s hardwood floors as nonchalantly as though he were Pithecantropus in the jungles. • Several meetings of the league have been held at the homes of the charter members. The meetings are preceded by a walk upon the lawn of the host. As the evening becomes cool the members retire to the host’s drawing room and are entertained with phonograph selections. Despite serious objection to the league on the part of the better halves in some of the homes, the organization has grown and is now reaching out for congenial spirits. “Keep cool and comfortable and cure your corns” is the slogan of the league.

Mississippi Slights Memphis But Eats a Park

MEMPHIS, TENN. —A great bar of mud and sand, half a mile long and an eighth of a mile wide, has formed along the Mississippi river front, preventing steamboats landing at the Memphis levee. Thousands of dollars are

ing navigation. Twenty years ago there was 90 feet of water where the mud bank now extends four or five feet above the surface of the water. The channel has veered off from Memphis, swinging to the Arkansas shore, where It runs swift and deep. It will probably-eost the government a half a million dollars to induce the channel to swing back to the Tennessee side, A little farther down the river the channel has set hard against the Tennessee shore and is eating its way into beautiful Riverside park, a large tract of land owned by the city. Already at some places the bank has been washed away and the highly improved driveway has fallen into the water. When the channel of the Mississippi decides to make a change, nothing, apparently can stop it. It will begin eating into the soft earthen banks and such obstructions as trees of giant proportions do not stand in its way. At some points the river has carried away a quarter of a mileof land in a single highwater period and steamboats run where only a few months before fields of corn and cotton grew.

Gotham’s Cold Storage Eggs Must Be So Stamped

NEW YORK. —“Cold storage” will be the appetizing words that will confront you most of the time when you order “three soft boiled” for breakfast. “Cold storage” will mingle with your omelet; the shells from which emerge

your scrambled eggs will have been stamped “cold storage” • There are only 650.000,000 eggs in cold storage in New’ York, and thereabouts. Doubtless they are good eggs, but it is extremely impolite to ask a cold storage egg its age. So John J. Dillon, state commissioner of foods and markets, ruled recently that every such egg must- have stamped on it the words “cold storage.” The truly Important question is “Who, in obedience to Commissioner

Dillon’s order, vyill stamp the eggs?” Commission merchants who deal in eggs insist that the retailers, the little dairymen and delicatessen dealers must identify every one of the 650,000,000 eggs that come out of cold storage to the consumer. Perhap? the families of the delicatessen dealers and the growers would find .great happiness and enjoyment in imprinting J’cold storage’* on all such eggs.. Besides, the practice would teach the younger members of the family delicacy of touch. The Imprint must be made gently, very gently. Otherwise there would be need—in the case of some .eggs, or in some cases of eggs—-of gas ■masks, and gas masks are expensive. They are in much demand “somewhere” In every country that is fighting in Europe. The manufacturers of gas masks are making as much money as the capable and industrious hens are earning lor— not the farmers — but the commission merchants and the retailera.

years’ experience one man has solved the riddle and now when his third cousin conies 'to town he transforms himself into the manager of a personally conducted tour and in that way wins not only a profusion of thanks, but fervid invitations to spend all of next summer at his guests’ homes in the country. Resolving himself into a guide of czarlike authority, the city cousin takes his party down to the Battery to the Aquarium. After viewing the best collection of fishes in the Unit-

being expended to remove the obstruction to navigation. For six months there has been a race between the dredgeboats pumping out the sand and the current of the river, which has been throwing the sand and mud toward the shore. The current won, but the government engineers have worked out a plan whereby a channel will be cut to let the current of the river flow against the mud bar from another point, eventually cutting it away and restor-

TIIE EVENING REPUBLICAN, RENSSELAER, IND.

NEW COAT OF BOLIVIA CLOTH

A very practical coat for general wear is made of Bolivia cloth, which is especially effective in the rich, warm colors that are destined to prevail during the coming winter. In burgundy, rhododendron, prune, taupe and castor this cloth seems suited to the colors, and this is true' of duvetyn and broadcloth also. The coat pictured manages the new style features of the season very cleverly. It sets closer to the figure about the .body than the passing style. The skirt has a moderate flare and reaches to within six inches of the bottom of the skirt at the front, lengthening a little toward the back. In some of the new models there is a much greater difference in the length of the front and back of the coat. The sleeves are plain, with deep cuffs, and the wide

MADE BY THE HOME DRESSMAKER

A dress and a coat, both made by a home dressmaker for a little miss of ten or thereabout, are worth notice for their simplicity and good style. The dress is of pink chambray, but may be developed in plain, striped or plaid ginghams, in linen, or in the heavier cotton goods, with equal success. It is cut with a circular skirt set to a plain bodice which is large enough to admit of Its being gathered in a little about , the waistline. The sleeves may be cut elbow length or even longer. Where the skirt is set on to the waist narrow beading conceals the seam, and velvet ribbon run through it serves to hold the fullness of the body to place. The neck is rounded out, front and back, and set oh to a yoke of embroidered organdie. An organdie edging is used to make it, and ruffles

FANCIES AND FADS OF FASHION

By Julia Bottomley

turnover collar has a velvet inlay. This is the universal collar, in shape, and it buttons up about the neck in a way to defy the coldest weather. The model hangs straight at the front, fastening a little to one side with large buttons. The cuff is merely a wide band of the material trimmed into a rounded tab at one end. The tab is fastened down under a button made of a mold covered with the cloth. There are points of moderate size at each side that carry out the same idea, having overlapping tabs decorated with a button. All seams are overlapped and ma-chine-stitched down. The waistline, as indicated by the seams in the back of the body, is low. At the termination of these seams a tab is set on to the coat with a large button by way of finish. This model is excellent for a driving coat, and cannot be improved upon as a general utility garment.

of it are set in the sleeves. The dress fastens at the back with small pearl buttons. The plain coat of broadcloth may be made also in other materials of like weight. It has long coat sleeves and a deep cape collar. Silk braid or narrow, fiife cluny lace makes a pretty finish for the collar. This is a coat for autumn wear. Those for winter now displayed for little misses are of velvet, plush, Bolivia, and other heavy cloths. They are made with high turnover collars, and often trimmed with narrow bands Of fur. Numbers of them are dpuble-breasted, and practically all of them are straight hanging, reaching to the bottom of the dress. Even in heavy materials for winter wear the little miss’s coat is not too difficult for the home dressmaker to make. The present style? are simply cut and all the standard pattern companies have patterns that are easy tc follow, - u

SMILES

DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH. “A gentleman burglar called at my house last nlgjlj.” “Indeed! Did he wear a dress suit and apologize suavely for his intrusion ?” "Oh, no. He was a rough looking fellow, but when I told him that practically everything I possessed, including my watch, was bought on the installment plan and I was still paying so much a month, he said he’d been there himself while he was trying to ‘live straight,’ handed me 15 cents for a drink he had already taken out of my whisky decanter and wished me ‘good-night!’ ”

HIS OPINION.

“I hah flo use for de man dat talks about hisse’f an' how honest he is.” "Why so?” “He alius sounds like he was runnin’ kind o’ short o’ references.”

Case for the Parson.

“Doctor,” said the stranger, as he was shown into thje consultation room, “I don't know what the trouble is, but I can’t sleep at night.” “Ura-yes,” rejoined the M. D. “What is your occupation?” “I’m a lawyer,” answered the other. “Pardon me,” replied the pill-dis-penser, “but you should consult a minister. I’m sorry, but I can’t undertake to relieve your conscience.”

On the Warpath.

The man who wields a squirt gun by His actions doth affirm He’s bending all his energies To slay the deadly germ.

An Impossibility.

“No,” said the man who occasionally letsf out a noisy thought, “it’s impossible.” ’ “What’s impossible?” queried the Innocent bystander. “To convince a woman that a man can make a fool of himself over her,” replied the noisy thinker.

Disappointing.

Aimee (at the reception) —Why did you go in the conservatory with Mr. Fresh ? Hazel—Merely to satisfy my curiosity. Aimee—And was it satisfied? Hazel—No; the mean thing didn’t even attempt to kiss me.

Wisdom of the M. D.

“Doctor,” queried the middle-aged man, “what is the best thing for baldness?” “Hair, sir; plenty of hair,” answered the wise M. D. “Two dollars, please.”

Top of the List.

Of the sour words worked into veYse. 4 Some are bad—and some others worse; But of all sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these: “He’s a hasbeen.”

RUINED.

Hobo —Yes'm, 1 wunst had a good Job managin’ a hand laundry, but it failed On me. Lady—Poor man ! How did it happen to fail? Hobo —She left me an’ went home to her folks.

Superstitious.

In despair the unfortunate man had resolved to commit suicide. Looking at the calendar he discovered it was Friday the 13th. “I’ll not do it today,” he said. “It might bring me bad luck.”

A Serious Case.

Parker —I met Omar last night. He seemed to have a bad case of the blues. • Heiny—He did, eh ? Parker—Yes; two big policemen were supporting him.

Wisdom of Socrates.

Socrates had just ordered the cup of hemlock. "I say. Sock,” exclaimed one of his boon companions, “would you mind telling us why you are drinking that stuff?” “So you ginks won’t expect me to ask you to set ’em up. See?” responded the great wisdom generator. And thus the celebrated* “Dutch treat” came into existence.

Hope Deferred.

"What made Gadson such a motionpicture fan?” “Six months ago he stepped in front of a motion-picture camera while the operator was taking a few street scenes.” “Well?” "And ever since then he has been haunting the moving-picture shows, hoping to see himself in an animated weekly.”

Might Have Been Worse.

“I understand Slithersby has figured in another early morning automobile accident.” “Yes, but it was not as serious as it might have been.” “Why, I heard that Slithersby had one or two ribs fractured and the woman with him was hurt.” “That’s true, hut nobody has found out the name of the woman yet.”

A Nature Faker.

Play write —What do you think of my new realistic melodrama? Criticus —Well, it Isn’t half bad — with the possible exception of the kitchen scene which isn’t true to nature. Playwrite—What’s wrong with it? Criticus —Why, the beautiful heroine actually washes the dishes for her poor old mother.

AN EYE FOR BUSINESS.

Summer Boarder —I could spend years looking at that mountain. The Landlord —Well, board by the year comes cheaper. Just keep lookin’l

Short Cut to Affluence.

Diggs—Old Doc Plllem made a fortune in I'ess than a year. Biggs —What a lot of patients he must have curedt' Diggs—Huh! He didn’t cure a single one. He simply discovered a new disease that immediately became popular.

Retort Courteous.

“Work of art!” sneered the critic. “Say, if that daub is a work of art. then I’m a blathering Idiot.” “The latter part of your statement,” rejoined the artist, calmly, “would seem to furnish conclusive proof that it really is a work of art.”

Caught.

“What! Jack and Agnes married?" Said Catherine to Sue. "I thought he was only flirting.” Said Susie: "He did, too.”

Sacrifice Unnecessary.

He had proposed and she had accepted. “And would you give up smoking for me?” she asked. “Gladly, darling.” he replied. “Well, don’t do it,” she gurgled. “Pa’s a cigar manufacturer, you know.”

Can This Be True?

Omar —I wonder what became of that society for the prevention of useless noises? Heiny —I understand the leaders of it are in Podunk at present, trying to suppress the natives who eat soup in the restaurants.

Whereon She Pirouettes.

“Would you call this interpretive dancer an artist to her fingtertips?” “I don’t know about her finger tips, but she seems to have exceptionally gifted toes.”

Cause and Effect.

Long—l never see you and Miss Gotrox together any more. Has she lost her attractions for you? , . Short —Not exactly; but her father lost them while speculating in war stocks.

Diplomatie.

Almee —Percy asked me your age last evening, dear. Hazel —Why, the idea! And did you tell him?'/ Almee —Of course not I merely said you didn’t look it