Evening Republican, Volume 20, Number 215, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 September 1916 — Page 3

A Lesson in Matrimony

By H. M. EGBERT

(Copyrigut, 1916. by W. G. Chapman.) “And she concluded little Mrs. ■Clemons, “the truth is my husband Is brutal, and so I have come back to be among friends while I am saving up enough money to get my freedom.” There was silence at the table. Every one of boarders felt that in .away Dora Symohs’ action was a reflection on the establishment. Dora and Charles Symons had met there, became engaged and married, all within the space of the preceding year. And the Wentworths, the Fields, and the Stuarts had met and mated and were still living under Mrs. Jones’ hospitable roof. “I always knew Mrs. Symons was quick-tempered,” said Herbert Wentworth. “But it’s so absurd,” said Mrs. Clemons. “Just because Charlie is a little hasty—why, she knew herself that he was quick-tempered before she married him. And just because he complained of her cooking and threw a slice of pie across at the Cat —that isn’t cause for leaving him.” “We must influence her to go back to him,” said Mrs. Field. “We can’t,” said Mrs. Clemons. "She thinks we all sympathize with her against Charlie. What can be done? She came here to get our sympathy.” Then Jim Stuart rose up. “She’ll get it,” he said. “She’ll get it thick, and she’ll sop it up like a muf&n.” “What do you mean, Jim?” asked his wife. ~ “Children.” said Jim, “come hither and put your heads together, and I’ll tell you.” He had just finished telling them when Dora came into the room. The men withdrew after supper and the ladies opened the ball. “I think it’s a shame,” said Mrs.

"Darling, Will You Fly With Me, .Somewhere, Anywhere!"

Stuart warmly, “and I entirely approve of youp action. No self-respecting ■woman will endure a life with a brute.” “I honor you for your act, my dear,” said Mrs, Field. “If my husband threw the pie at my cat I wouldn’t stay in the house another second.” “My dear, you have done Just right,” said Motherly Mrs. . Wentworth, patting Dora's cheek. “Just the right thing in the right way, as you always did. Rut who would have thought that Charles would have turned out so abominably?” Dora Symons’ eyes filled with tears. The sympathy of her old friends was inexpressibly grateful to her. And during the week that followed her animosity against her husband increased tenfold. She had never dreamed that men could show their wives such courtesy, such tenderness, as Messrs. Wentworth, Stuart and Field. It was about a week after Dora’s arrival that she was awakened one night, toward 12, by the sounds of a heavy body toiling up the stairs, and apparently slipping down as fast as it came up. Bump, bump! went the footsteps. Dora flew to her door. On the landing outside stood Mr. Wentworth. “Have you_hurt yourself?” she asked. “Blesher, no,” snorted Mr. Wentworth. “Gimme your hand, darling.” Dora looked at him in terror for an instant. Then she flew info her room and locked the door. The wretch was Mr. Wentworth, the paragon, had corflte home intoxicated. lie did not appear at breakfast the next morning, but' Mrs. Wentworth was as smiling and happy as usual. Two days passed. Mr. Wentworth looked at Dora as if he were a little ashamed when they met. Dora cut him stonily.. At last his wife asked the, reason. “Don't you know?" demanded Dora. “I do hope you haven't quarreled, with Henry,” said Mrs. Wentworth. “I thought we were all to be such good friends." "Mrs. Wentworth,” said Dora trag-

ically, “your husband came home drunk the other night. And lie tried to take my hand and called me ‘darling.’ ” Mrs. Wentworth laughed cheerily. “Is that aU the trouble?” she asked Yes, Henry does go on a spree occasionally, and then he’s liable to do more than that. I thought he would have wanted to Kiss you. But honest, honey, he’s a good sort and I think the world of him. Now it isn’t like throwing the pie at the cat, just getting drunk, is it, my dear? If he were that sort of man—” But Dora fled to her room. And the next evening something worse occurred. “Help I Help” came in shrill tones from Mrs. Stuart’s room. The boarders rushed to the door, Dora among them. Mr. Stuart was seen within; he had his wife by the throat and was pounding her unmercifully with his lists. “Brute!” shrieked Dora, running toward him. She snatched his fingers from his wife's neck and struck him violently across the face. Mr. Stuart staggered back, dazed. “How dare you lay your hands upon my husband!” exclaimed Mrs. Stuart, turning upon her. “The brute!" cried Dora. “To strike his wife!” “I’ll have you know, young woman, that I don’t allow interference between irry husband and myself,” snapped Mrs. Stuart. “Now kindly take-yourself off to your own room and leave Jim and me to settle our differences in our own way.” Dora staggered from the room blindly. The boarders were congregating outside. “Too bad!” said little Airs. Clemons sympathetically. “Is that what you call it?” cried Dora hysterically. “Too bad? Why, he was beating his wife, beating her! I never saw anything so outrageous in my life! Listen! There he'is at it again!” In fact, Jim Stuart’s voice was loud enough to penetrate a dozen doors. “I’m sick of you, miserable female!” he roared. “Get out of this house. Don’t let me see your face again. It’s sour enough to keep me in home-made vinegar for the rest of my life! It’s ugly enough to frighten a strong elephant into convulsions. Hire it out to go bulldog fighting, but don’t practice it on me.” “Jim, dear, don’t get so excited,” came his wife's smooth rerponstrance. “You know it’s bad for your digestion.” “Digestion be hanged!” roared Jim. “You black-and-tan whelp of a blighted toadstool, you—” But Dora had fled to her own room and locked herself in. The next morning she was too ill to leave it. Airs. Stuart entered at ten with a tray of breakfast. “I’m sorry I was a little cross last night,” she said, setting it down beside her. “You know, Jim is the best man in the world, but once in a while he gets irritated. Now, if he were real bad, like throwing the pie at the cat, I wouldn’t stand for it a minuted* --- “N-no,” said Dora feebly. Dora crept limply down to dinner. The guests were as chatty as ever, and Airs. Stuart particularly amiable. Nobody noticed her distress, and Air. Stuart was even sympathetic as he passed the mustard. , She had just reached her room when Air. Field emerged from the passage.

“Mfs. Symons,” he said, “I want to tell you how sorry I feel for your dreadful experience.” “Thank you,” said Dora gratefully. She was on the verge of tears., The Fields had always been her best friends; she longed to tell him all,- to ask about the Stuarts. But suddenly he caught her in his arms. “Darling!” he cried rapturously. “Will you fly with me somewhere? — anywhere that I can go out of sight of that old cat I’m married tjj?” “Mr. Field! Let me go at once!” cried Dora furiously. And she struggled out of his arms, but not before he had succeeded in imprinting a kiss upon her cheek. “I’ll take you West,” he said. “I have plenty of money. We’ll give the old woman the slip, and nobody will know we aren’t mar —” “Oh, Mrs. Field!” shrieked Dora, seeing his wife come up the stairs. “Help me. Your husband has insulted me abominably.” “What has he done, my dear?” asked Mrs. Field. “Dearest, remember Mrs. Symons must be treated respectfully.” “He asked me to elope with him,” wept Dora, covering her face. “Is that all?” asked Mrs. Field, apparently relieved, “Well, it’s Just his way, you know. He asked me to elope with him, too, and I did. Don't take him too seriously.” Dora looked up. All the doors were suspiciously open, and both Mr. and Mrs. Field were on the verge of uncontrollable laughter. “Now, if he had thrown the pie at the cat —” continued Mrs. Field. “Oh!” cried Dora with suddeh illumination. And, frenzied at the trick that had been played on her, she dashed into her room and began to pack furiously. But an hour later, with wet cheeks and humble looks, she went downstairs. The boarders were all at the table; „ “My dear friends,” said Dora, “I want to thank you all. I have been very foolish, and you have taught me —” . “Hurrah!” shouted big Jim Stuart, seizing her by the hands and beginning the first step of a dance. “I knew it. We knew you were a trump, Mrs. Symons. I took the responsibility of wiring somebody, and he’ll be here — say, let me take you in a cab to the station to meet mm I” "~~

THE EVENING REPUBLICAN, RENSSELAER, IND.

SPOILS MANY LIVES

(“BEST" TEACHER SCHOOL EVER HAD A FAILURE. She Refused to See the Opportunities Near Home and Created a Spirit of Unrest and Discontent Among Pupils. The “best” teacher we ever had in our old district school had a distinctly bad influence in the community, says a writer in Farm Life. Born and raised in the country, she longed for the town with her whole soul. She despised the rural life. She Thought all the wisdom of the world was printed in books, and that all the worthwhile opportunities of life were to be found in distant cities. She did not openly deride and mock our parents, of course, but we knew without being told what her feeling was. She was full of enthusiasm, and she found it easy to inspire us with her own top-lofty ambitions. Alost of the girls in the neighborhood wanted to be Jenny Linds and Florence Nightingales. All the boys wanted to be heroes —great soldiers, poets, judges, statesmen. None of us, of course, wanted to be great in his own neighborhood. Each thought he had to get away from home In order to have a chance in life. Teacher could not, in fact, see the neighborhood. u The eyes of her soul were afflicted with that disease which the oculists call hypermetropia. She could only see distant objects. The girls in the neighborhood, feeling the impulse toward “wider horizon,” drifted away to the towns and cities. They escaped the “deadening monotony" of rural life by becoming waitresses in hotels and workers in factories. Some fared a little better and some a great deal worse —but none of them became a Jenny Lind or a Florence Nightingale. The boys, too, were full of the grand unrest. They turned their backs scornfully on the old homesteads. Each was “the architect of his own fortune,” and teacher had taught him to believe that all the building materials were to be found in distant places. After they had failed as architects, many of them came humbly but gladly back to the old district and succeeded as farmers. Now as never before in the world opportunity is found on the farm, and every school teacher should know that. There are more statesmen of real worth and more genuine poets coming from the tall grass than from the tall buildings. The wider horizon is the privilege of youth, but it is visible to everyone who lifts his head at home, while it is too often obscured by clouds.of smoke to the sojourner in the cities. Do not let teacher fill the minds of your children full of cheap romance while she ignores all the beauty and dignity that should make rural life so satisfying.

Paid $5,600 for a Colt.

Those who had the mistaken idea that the day of the horse is passing must have received a rather severe jolt when Walter Cox paid no less than $5,600 for an undeveloped yearling of standard-bred trotting blood. While "higher prices have been obtained for yearlings in other days, there has always been a record attached to the natural breeding attractions of the youngster in question. In this case, however, St. Frusquin, a son of the noted San Francisco-Melisande, has never been -driven against tin*, and thus the price establishes a new record on the sales market. It seems rather a pity thaf the name St. Frusquin should have been chosen for such a promising colt. It will inevitably be confused, possibly at a disadvantage, with the great running horse St. Frusquin—owned by Leopold de Rothschild —which was the winner of the classic 2,000 guineas and was beaten only by the sensational Persimmon, then owned by the prince of Wales, in the derby of 1896. —The Spur.

The First Lady Barber.

Samson snored" peacefully in the chair while Delilah snipped at his locks. “Do you want it cut round or souare on the neck?” she asked. No answer. “Would you like a sea-foam or shampoo?” No reply. “Hair is getting a trifle thin on top. Would you like a little tonic?’ Silence; “Have your whiskers trimmed?” More silence. ' “Next!” • ! Whereupon Samson climbed out of the chair, gazed into a mirror, -then rushed into the street and pulled down a temple.

The “Maiden’s Prayer."

j An elderly bachelor and an equally elderly spinster sat in a concert hall. The selections were apparently entirely unfamiliar to the gentleman, but when the wedding march of iMendelssohn was begun he pricked up his ears. “That sounds familiar,” he exclaimed. “But I'm not strong on those classical pieces." That is a good un. What is iii?’” The spinster cast down her eyes. “That,” she told him, demurely, “is the ‘Maiden’s Prayer.”’

LITTLE ESSAY ON PANTS

Some Very Interesting Thoughts on Those Worn by Male of the Species. Pants are of two kinds; human and dog. The human pants of commerce are worn mainly by males. But equal rights prevail among dogs. Human pants are worn thicker In winter and thinner in summer. The dog's pants come thicker In the summer. The dog's lungs are the seat of its pants. (Date 1875, Hostetter’s Almanac.) White pants are not a garment. They are a business to themselves. The man who wears them doesn’t work at much else at the time. —When I was small and on a farm, I wore pants that were not new. So far as I could find out, they never had been new. When they had been first worn out, by the first tailless ancestor I had, they had been patched at all the ventilateu places. When the original goods wore out between the patches, the first patches were connected by other patches. And sew on. Where they overlapped—the patches —the goods became about an .inch thick. And when human legs made of any material less durable than vulcanized flint are incased in a set of inch-and-a-quarter Deer Island jeans trousers patched with every kind of heavy goods from horse blankets to remnants of rag carpet—when, I say, any hunjan nether limbs are incarcerated in these bendless tubular garments in a wheat field on a southwest hillside at two o’clock on a clear, still day when the temperature is 110 in the shade and there is no shade, the owner of said legs thinks longingly of the bastile, the stocks, the pincers, the guillotine, the pillory, the thumb-screw, the rack, the stake and other religious pleasantries. I have gone long days in the wheat field in a pair of such asbestos pants lined with sandpaper or barbed wire, and now death or public speaking or fashionable dinners—none of those things has any terror for me. I playfully inquire of death as to the location of Its stinger.—Farm Life.

Woman’s Winning Force.

The winning force in woman’s life is first of all, purpose—a purpose which carries with it the assent of reason, the judgment of the mind and the approval of conscience. This purpose must be your own — not another’s. The sorrowful experiences of many women is that they are always children, with no plan of life, no will by which their energies are to be directed. Don’t drift, but steer. Dare to be singular. Scorn to degrade yourself by yielding up your individuality to suit the whim of the worthless. Now and then a woman stands aside from the crowd, labors steadfastly and straightway the world wonders, admires and crowns the determined doer, and yet it only illustrates what a growing and exhaustless force each woman might become if she took hold of life with a purpose. Determine to live for something lasting. Even goodness fails where there is no will. You cannot dream yourself into a character. You must hammer and force yourself into one.

New Russian Oil Fields.

A newly verified Russian oil field, ■with an area of about 70,000 square miles, or about twice the size of the ■NSy England states, now emerges strangely from a mass of explorers’ data to suggest pretty strongly that current pessimism over the decreasing output of the oil fields of the Caucasus is not well justified. This new field, according to Russia, the monthly organ of IL Mqrtens & Co., is located in the Ural province, begins at the Caspian sea, taking a fanlike shape to the north as far as the town of Alexandrovsky Gai, runs nearly due east to the town of Ternir and from there in a southerly and southwesterly directions, following the Emba river to the Caspian sea again. Although an attempt was made by the government to encourage the commercial exploration of this country as far back as 1899, no serious development work had been done until a very short time ago. Russia more now than ever, is feeling effects*bf the high prices of petroleum and its absolute necessity has led to the discovery of these fields. —Wall Street Journal.

Conundrums.

It is often said that love is blind, and, judging by the experiery?e of a newly "married couple, it hasn’t much sense of taste, either. A few weeks after the wedding a friend dropped into the bridegroom’s studio and found the artist and his bride laughing heartily at some joke. “What ever is amusing you so much?” he asked in amazement. “Oh, it’s been so funny,” gurgled the young wife, as she wiped the tears of joy from her eyes. “My husband painted and I cooked this mooting, and now we are both trying to guess what the things were meant for.” ~ ■

Costly Remark.

“What do you think, Miss Chenille, a friend of mine got a three-karat diamond ring for only twenty dollars!” “Why don’t you look out for a bargain like that, Mr. Slowguy?” Ana presently it dawned upon him that the remark was £oing to cost him -noney.

Principles of Democracy Fostered by System of Universal Military Service

By PROFESSOR MUNROE SMITH

In the great modern European states universal military service, which reappeared inrevolutionary France, has been generally adopted because of its demonstrated economy and efficiency. The establishment of universal military service in European monarchies has not been followed by an increase of royal power; the tendency has been toward more democratic government. In all these states, not excepting Russia, the people have today some voice in determining the laws and policies of the country; and it looks as if, broadly speaking, the imposition of the duty of military service upon every able-bodied male citizen had forced the monarchic and aristocratic elements to concede to the people some measure of political rights. They really had to admit that the men who are to fight for a country ought to have something to say about its government. It would, of course, be absurd to say that universal military service necessarily makes a country democratic. It will not have this result if the people are monarchically minded. But if the people of a country are democratically minded, universal military service seems to make for constitutional government in monarchies and for the maintenance of popular government in republics. If we pass from history to theory, it is difficult to see why universal military service is not essentially the democratic system. This can hardly be questioned by anyone who admits that democracy means equality of duties as well as equality of rights. Those, indeed, who identify democracy with liberty and equality—those to whom democracy means the minimum of governmental constraint —may consistently assert that a volunteer army is essentially democratic. This idea of democracy, how’ever, is. a false one; and a democracy organized in accordance with this idea can be held permanently only by those who discharge corresponding duties and the natural tendency of laissez faire, in the political as in the economic system, is toward oligarchy.

So-Called Efficiency Which Breaks Man Down in Prime Really Is Inefficiency

The inefficiency of “efficiency” has proved both costly and brutal. Every system of efficiency of the future, must consider human life first. If human life is to be .jeopardized by haste, don’t hurry. If human life is to be sacrificed by speeding up efficiency, be less efficient; if the human body is to be maimed or destroyed in order to secure speed and power, get along with less power. This doctrine is not merely sentimental; it is more than a reflection of the woe and heartbreak that follow the cruel strokes of industry and traffic. Human life is the only thing in the world that has any value; all other values are derived from serving this primary value. The asset of the average man, the only thing that stands between his family and perhaps future dependence on charity, is his earning power. Some plan which capitalizes his future earning power, his physical strength, must be incorporated in the efficient industrial system of the future. An -enormous vitality gain has been achieved in the earlier stages of life. A much larger percentage reach maturity through improved methods of sanitation, but the human machine begins to go to pieces at fifty-five. It is the result of the heavy strain in the United States, a product of our modern life. It is the outgrowth of tty; worst form of inefficiency, of an attempt to be efficient without properly counting the cost. Think of the value of lives snuffed out at fifty-five! Just when these lives have reached their maturity of power, when knowledge has become wisdom, when judgment has become well balanced—fifteen years of the choicest part of their lives snuffed out! A man should be at his’best up to seventy. If a man disappears at fifty-five he is inefficient, no matter what he has done before that time inefficient because he has thrown away the ripe fruit of all his life. . It’s inefficiency, though the man and the system may call it efficiency.

Mere Assent of Intellect to Orthodox Creed Does Not Make Any Man Christian

By REV. MADISON PETERS

There is a vast difference between naturalizing and nationalizing a man, so the mere act of baptism or church membership gives a man a poor title to the Christian name. The most unhesitating assent of the intellect to the most orthodox creed ever framed will make no man a Christian. z The profession of religion that counts is a life devoted to glorifying God by living in obedience to his commands, and so make the world a little less accursed and more worthy of God. Christ’s mission was to do good, and we are ambassadors in Christs stead to carry out his purpose. You are given superior position in society to help someone up and on. Your responsibility does not end with attendance on public worship; if it does, then the church is nothing more to you than a spiritual boarding house. There are too many apoplectic saints in our churches who are 'crammed full with spiritual truths, but are suffering for want of exercise.

Honesty First Among the Essentials That Lead to Success in Life Work

President Interborough Rapid Transit Company of New York

To the young man starting in life there is only.pne road to success. It consists of these essentials rHonesty, sobriety, integrity, .loyalty, amiability, ambitiousness, crowned with hard work. Honest to his employer and honest to himself. Sober in all thoughts and habits. Integrity,in that he gains and retains the confidence of his employer and all those with whom he comes in contact. Loyal to each and every trust imposed in him Amiable in that it will, make his work seem lighter and scatter rays of sunshine around him. Ambitious in that he should always strive to do his work just a little better than the “other fellow* which will gain, him advancement leading to filial success.

By DARWIN P. KINGSLEY

President of the New York Life Insurance Company

By THEODORE P. SHONTS

of Columbia University l

of New York Qty