Evening Republican, Volume 20, Number 205, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 August 1916 — A Few Smiles. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

A Few Smiles.

The Mystery Explained.

“Why is It,” queried the stranger within the gates, “that so many of the men in this village seem to have an Ingrown grudge against the minister “Well, It’s like this, stranger,” answered the postmaster, “he’s been here for nearly fifty years and has

performed the marriage ceremony for most of them.” Struck the Wrong Place. “Say,” queried the tough-looking hobo at the kitchen door, “where’s de guy wot lives here?” “Oh,” answered the farmer’s wife, who Was evidently wiser than her home-grown complexion would seem to indicate, “he’s back of the barn burying a tramp the dog chewed up this morning. Wait a second and I will call him.” But by the time she reached the door the unwashed hobo was headed down the pike, beating it at an aeroplane gait. Deserves It. “There goes a pious man.” "Everyone says so.” “A mansion is reserved for him in the skies.” “I truly hope so. I overheard him just now in a real estate office pleading With his landlord to patch his roof.” Facts in the Case. Said He —Were they divorced because of a misunderstanding? Said She —No; because they understood each other too well, I believe. Good Singing.

“This quartet is splendid.” “Yes,” answered the ' low-browed person. “It’s great, i thought once or twice the bass was going to be a few seconds late with that comedy stuff, but he was right on time.”

Ambitious Plans. “Are you prepared to do anything for the heathen?” asked the mission worker. “I should say we are!” answered the capitalist, proudly. “We’ve sent some of our best salesmen to China, and I predict that in a short while hundreds of well-to-do Chinese will be enjoying rides in the best motor car made in America.”