Evening Republican, Volume 20, Number 188, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 August 1916 — Page 3

GATHERED SMILES

NO MONEY.

“They were to operate on me for appendicitis.” “Why didn’t they?” “At that most Inopportune time 1 failed in business.”

Where He Went Lame.

The professor was a wise guy, But to save his soul When he ate a doughnut, why He couldn’t save the hole.

He Had Been Stung.

“The old way to cure yourself of an attack of love,” said the married man, “is to run away.” “Why didn’t you do that when you were courting the girl you married?” asked the old bachelor. “I did,” replied the other,' “but I made the mistake of taking the girl with me.”

Change in Style.

Mrs. Flatbush —How do you like my new dress? Mr. Flatbush —Why, is that a new dress? “Certainly it Is.” “Looks like same material as your last one.” “Oh, it’s the same material, but It’s four inches shorter!”

The Limit.

Redd —Having spent about five hundred thousand dollars for road improvement and equipment a Swiss company will carry passengers over the Alps in electric automobiles. Greene —Some disheartening, I should say, to see those taxi-meters climb up there.

Unsuited.

“I don’t suppose the -submarine will ever become popular with the authors of ‘best sellers.’ ” “Hardly. You see, for obvious reasons, the opportunities for love-mak-ing on the deck of a submarine are limited.”

A Customer Lost.

“But, madam, your account is already overdrawn.” “Can’t you let me have the money, anyway?” “I’m afraid not.” “1 once deposited fifty dollars in this old bank. I’ll never patronize it again.”

More Trouble.

Bill —A shirt with an adjustable collar band has been invented. Jill —More trouble. Here’s a chance not only to lose your collar button but your shirtband with it.

Compensations.

“This lady lecturer’s subject is very dry.” “Ah, but just listen to her liquid Voice.”

HIGH-PRICED HOME.

“There Is no place like home.” “But it takes the rent to make you realize It.”

Sense and Sound.

In empty sound we still rejoice With feelings strangely proud. The man who has the biggest voice Can reach the largest crowd.

Enough.

“My dear, do you want to go to the movies tonight?’ “No. I’ve got enough of the movies. I’ve been watching two families go out of the block this morning and' three coming into it.” ».

Just Like a Woman.

Parker Speaking of secretive people, your friend Hazel is certainly the limit. Almle—What’s the explanation? Parker —She mailed a souvenir postcard this morning marked “Personal.”

WRACKING AN ARTIST’S SOUL.

“I understand the noted pianist you engaged to play at your reception left your house in a huff.” “So he did,” replied Mr. Dubwalte “I can’t imagine what was the matte! with the fellow.” “Perhaps he was offended in some way.” “Nonsense! While he was resting from his labors at the piano I thought it a good idea to entertain the guests with a few ragtime selections on the phonograph. I had hardly started the first one when he ripped out some sort of foreign oath, clapped his hands tfl his ears and fled.”

Agreeably Surprised.

“I noticed you didn’t applaud when the American flag was thrown on the screen.” “That was not due to a lack of patriotism.” “No?” “I’ve heard so much lately about ‘Old Glory’ being trailed in the dust that I was simply dumfounded to see how fresh and clean it looked.”

No References.

Willis—The new cook is a jewel, dear. Mrs. Willis —Yes,‘but I’m afraid that I must discharge her. Willis—What’s the matter? Mrs. Willis —I’m suspicious of her. I went to the library this afternoon and spent three hours in the reference room and couldn’t find any of hers. — Judge.

PROOF POSITIVE.

“Has the doctor a large practice?” “So large that when people have nothing the matter with them he tells them so.” v

The Legislator.

He doesn’t care if they raise the fare. He’ll be happy anyway [f they’ll just Increase his mileage— Which the people pay.. L

His Lack.

“The new fellow in the bookkeeping department is quite an amateur juggler.” “Don’t believe it. Why, he can’t even balance an account.”

A Need.

“There is certainly one addition they ought to have to the weather office.” “What’s that?” “A clearing house.”

Sense of Humor.

“You seldom laugh. You have no sense of humor.” “I have a sufficient sense of humor,” said Miss Cayenne, “to recognize when it is time not to laughJ r

Hopeless Case.

“What’s that thing, doc?” “That’s a medicine ball I brought you.” “Then I’m afraid there is no hope for me.” “Why not?” “I never can swallow that.”~Youngstown Telegram.

Natural Result.

“Smythe is a live wire.” “He touched me this morning for ten dollars.” “With what result?” “I was shocked.”

Business Methods.

“I suppose this suburban villa belongs to a banker.” “How did you know that?” “I notice all the vines in it are runners.”

Fairy Tales.

Mrs. Bacon —King Solomon must have been some story-teHer, don’t you think? Mr. Bacon —Why so? “Look at all the wives tie had!

Thought Stimulation.

“My speech Is going to set a lot of people thinking,” remarked the orator. “Yes,” rejoined Senator Sorghum; “but are they going to think the way you are trying to make them think they Ought to think.”

Rural Epicures.

Customer—But isn’t two dollars an awful price for a chicked? Dealer —Not for a suburban chicken, sir. Why, everyone of these fowls was raised on flower seeds that cost fifty cents per package, >

THE EVENING REPUBLICAN, RENSSELAER, IND.

Wash Suits the Pinnacle of Smartness Those linens and cottons that do not muss —the heavier crashes and similar weaves —in those colors that do not fade, make up street suits for midsummer wear that stand at the pinnacle of smartness. They contribute comfort and trim appearance and elegance, all in one, to the summer wardrobe, and they are the delight of the fine-grained lady. The best designers love to work with these simple materials, and they strive for beauty of line and effectiveness of color in them with results are as admirable a’ any to be reached in richer stuffs. In the picture a coat suit is shown of heavy linen crash in a clear, strong blue. The skirt is moderately full and is laid in plaits at the sides. The plaits are stitched down to the hip line and hang free below, forming a panel, fairly wide, at the front and one at the back. It is finished with a three-inch hem. ~ The coat bespeaks an expert in designing, for it is a marvel of fine ad-

Costume Bags, Fashionable and Convenient

Saddle-bag pockets, reticules and vanity bags of many sorts have provided fashionable receptacles this summer for all the small necessities of feminine comfort Wherever she goes the lady of today carries some sort of a vanity bag along, and even at home she provides herself with reticules and pockets, for convenience. Many of these are made of the same material as the frock or skirt but separate from it For the sports-skirt patch-pock-ets are usually attached, or practical pockets are supplied, with another, management But for the house gov\ n and the visiting toilet, the costume bag to match or to harmonize is proper wear. Ths last newcomer to make its appearance is the pretty Betsy Ross bag. It is the simplest of silk bags, from 9 to 12 Inches long, gathered into a small circular mirror, incasted in silk at the bottom and having a scalloped or pointed frill at the top. The mouth of the bag is closed with narrow satin ribbon which serves to suspend it from the arm. . These Betsy Ross bags are decorated with flounces of the material or with designs wrought in bead work. An

FANCIES AND FADS OF FASHION

By Julia Bottomley

justment by means of simple but clever cutting. It is a summer coat in cut as well as in material, with loose-hanging, shapely body and moderately full peplum. It is decorated with a small scroll design, done in the narrowest of white braid, and having the effect of embroidery. This design appears at each side of the front and at each side of the back. The coat opens with revers, which are overlaid by other revers of soft pique in white. It fastens with two large pearl buttons. The designer has allowed his fancy some license in finishing the sleeves in an unexpected fashion. The flaring cuffs of blue are supplemented with additional inside cuffs of white pique. A suit of this kind calls for a wash blouse of equal elegance, and nothing commonplace will do. The sailor hat, worn with it, is of fine black and white satin made in the best manner of the milliner. A fine Panama is in the same class and might be worn with it. In an outfit of this kind one is dressed well enough for almost any demand the summer may make. There is nothing better in suits.

example of these styles is given in the picture. Messaline, satin, taffeta, or moire are used for making them, and narrow plaited frills or bead work for decorating them. The frills are edged with cut hemstitching, and plcot-edged ribbon may be used for making them. The first moire bag shown in the picture is maraed off into points by two parallel rows of steel beads and decorated with a leaf design done in beads. There are models ambng moire bags trimmed with two or three gathered ruffles of the silk, each edged and decorated with'bead work like that shown in the illustration. Reticules, to match house frocks, are small and flat, shaped like a square envelope, having the flap fastened with a snap fastener. They hang from the belt by straps of the same material. They are especially pretty when worn with lace or net fichus from the same period.

Favorite Sunshade.

The favorite sunshade so far seemb to be the one of taffeta, the top of which is covered with graded width taffeta ruffles, generally four, or five. Sometimes they have the new strap handle, sometimes the ivory or translucent knobs. The one which swings from an ivory ring over the arm is also carried a good_,deal.

HAPPENINGS IN THE BIG CITIES

War Brings Italian Cameo Cutters to New York

NEW YORK. —Previous to August of 1914 one could count all the cameo cutters in New York on the fingers of one hand. About all the cameos came from Torre del Greco and Santa Lucia, the two great cameo towns of

Italy. Today there are in New York city—in the Bronx Italian colony —50 or 60 men whose trade it is to cut “landscapes or heads” upon shells. All of these men work at home In the old-world style, a small bench and chair, four or five engraving tools, a few files and some polishing brushes making up the necessary parapher-. nalia, except for the pencil-like sticks, or “holders,” upon which the cameos-to-be are cemented with a brownish

sealing wax. With this slmple-'equlp-ment and the proper know-how which he has acquired by years of apprenticeship on the other side, the average cameo cutter can make from $6 to 310 a day. This, compared with the European wage of from 3 to 15 francs a day, explains somewhat New York’s latest artist colony. - As one of them, who Cuts shells by day and is learning English at the nearby night school, puts it: “Cameo cutting in this country is a good trade. Here you are paid for what you can do. Over there you must have gray hair before they think you are good for anything.” The cameo cutter who can produce a really good “Three Graces” or a chariot bearing aloft a company of angels has something to be proud of. These particular groups are the hardest of all the usual designs which the stock cutter is called upon to execute. Just dow there is no market for cam ops adorned with masculine heads, be they of Socrates or Apollo. Scenes in the antique Greek style also are out of vogue. “They only wanta landscapes and nlca ladies’ heads, ’ says the cutter.

Woes of the Fashion Mannequins of New York

- . NEW YORK. —Well, just as the mannequins have been guessing right along IN would be the case, the line of parade for models has been extended all the way to Fiftieth street on Fifth avenue, with two counter-marches back to Thirty-fourth street, making more

as the first stone lion in front of the library, and a prompter, like as not, stepping alongside and whispering that it is time to raise the new parasol or ease off the summer furs at the neck, or giving some instructions about how to carry the head; of advice to shorten the step by counting one-two-three-four before she dares put a toe forward, just as if she were going down the center aisle on the fateful day with the organ playing that Mendelssohn time. And yet thousands of your women are wishing and wishing that they only had a chance to put on one of those fine gowns and take it out for an official airing. Under the new rules, unless a girl has been at least a full term at a dramatic school or taken a special course in posturing, she can’t hope to go through the hand, wrist, neck and shoulder work required of a model.

Buffalo Babies Having Six Months’ Health Race

O UFFALO, N. Y. —Buffalo’s health race is on. Three thousand babies of D varying ages, from five months to two years, participants in the contest, are having a six months’ period of proper food, outdoor sleeping, clean

clothes and regular exercises. Only those babies who were registered in Buffalo’s big better-babies’ contest qualified for the health race, which is to be concluded in December with a baby show at which the mental and physical development of the child at that time will be compared with its condition as registered in June. Those found to have made the most pronounced gains in mental and physical growth will be given blue ribbons.

By the first of July the race was , fairly under way, when district nurses for the first time visited the homes of the participants, where requested, to give instructions on child management Eyes of the medical world are turned on this unique contest. Application of advanced methods in feeding, exercising and general care of the child governs the work of grooming the babes for the December examinations. Advlca of child specialists is free for the asking to mothers of those children registered in the contest Milk stations are established in every quarter of the city. , Over a dozen of the 3,000 babies which passed through the hands of 50 physicians, judges in various departments, were pronounced perfect of fora, feature and mentality at the June show, but they must during the next six months register general development Just as much as do the weaker infants, o b 0 DXber - >»<»■ candidates U> a proposed national contest.

Philadelphia Planning to Enlarge Its Aquarium

r» HILADELPHIA.—Incize and completeness and variety of fishes, it is P planned to make the Philadelphia Park aquarium equal to, if not to excel any public aquarium either in this country or abroad. Marine hall, ’ while constituting only a single section

the crystal-clear waters of the tanks, where every movement can be seen ati close range. There are 30 species of fresh water and 50 species of sea water fishes, with a total population of approximately 2,000. Among the fresh water fishes the sunfish family embraces calico, or strawberry bass: small-mouth bass, large-mouth bass, long-eared sunfish, blue-gill sunfish rock bass and other varieties. In the minnow family are pearl roach, silver roach and the ever-pleasing goldfishes. About the goldfishes, as about ail of the other species in the aquarium, the visitor learns most interesting faCt Descriptlons of the.seas, rivers or streams fish frfeqdent, their use for food, habits, etc. which are placed over each tank, aid in making tfie aquarium mg open encyclopedia. - . t . a

than three miles in all and never faster than two minutes to a block. Honest, as the models say themselves, showing off the new duds these days ,I's about as exacting a profession as doing studio work for the movies, and with all that is expected IT does get on a girl’s nerves something awful, no matter what people may think. Imagine a model, all fixed up just as the pattern book says, and O-K’d by the designer, promenading up as far

of the aquarium, doubtless will be for r all time one of the greatest attractions. The huge fish tanks are built on such a liberal scale that to fill one of them requires 3,000 gallons, or nearly 15 tons, of sea water, and the sea water is brought to Philadelphia in barges from the Atlantic ocean, 15 miles off the shores of New Jersey. Marine hall is already a storehouse of fish lore, with the fishes, arranged In family groups, swimming in