Evening Republican, Volume 20, Number 184, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 August 1916 — The Gay Deceiver [ARTICLE]

The Gay Deceiver

From life

The only other passenger thumbed his tobacco into a melancholy pipe bowL "What’s your line?” he asked. "Soap and Christmas candles," 1 said, and held out my oig&r for his light "Married?" “Yes. You?" “Um-m-m." And he stretched his legs drew up his elbows and looked worried. “When I was making this territory about this time last year,” he began, T met a pretty, wifely little girl, and we were married before I left town. Tarascon wasn’t on my regular trip then, but now I have to Btrike home once a month. "You see I was raised in a family of sisters —all older than J, all unmarried. I could never bring myself to tell them about Edyth. They don't know it 'yet Live in Cranford on the Vandalla. My wife thinks I haven’t any folks." * “Well?” He blushed. “There —It—we Pm going to be a father." Then be did Blush. I laughed, sympathetic. "You can’t bear not to let your sisters know?*’ 1 ventured. - - He nodded and gulped. - "Tarascon," called the brakeman "Tarascon.” I was on the hot veranda of ..the Croxton House, at Croxton, some two weeks later when I felt a modest hand on my shoulder. "Boy or girl?” were my first words with a grin. "Girl," announced the father, with pride. “Sophronia Juditl. Rose. Nam ed for my sisters.” He seated himself fished, in his pocket for his pipe, and smiled nervously. "They knew it when I got home,’* ho said. “I’d left Edyth’s letter in my room. I believe they had been suspect ing all along. Well; they never said a thing at supper, but when I went up stairs I saw a string of baby ribbon sticking out of my sample case. The girls had packed it full of things from their hope boxes. Baby things thev were. “I tried to bluff it out, but I—l couldn’t do it, and I’d told them all about it five minutes after I came downstairs. "We all took the train for Tarascon the next day. Edyth was tickled—said i he’d suspected I had sisters. She hadn’t though of course. "So I had to name the baby for them. Weighed eleven pounds too. “My, I’ve ’got to catch that 9:32 for Tarascon!” He pulled out his watch, theh turned the dial to me; sheepishly. Under the crystal was a tiny slip of narrow ribbon, baby blue. "So long,’’ he said. "Mayn’t see you again. This Is my last trip. The firm’s giving me a city job where I can be with- the family." His Wonderful English An American gentleman got acquainted with a Frenchman who was very anxious to acquire the English language. The American in order to help him, said that if he would send his exercises to him he would willingly correct them. Nothing was heard from the Frenchman for some time, but finally a letter came cauched in the following choice English: “In small time I can learn so many English from his textbook and her dictionary as I think I will to come at the America and to go on the scaffold to lecture." She Wasn't Bure. A Chicago vegetarian- engaged a German cook not long ago. His wife iked the appearance of the applicant; her references were good and the wages she demanded not exorbitant. "I’d like to have you come,’’ said the lady of the house, "but perhaps you won’t like to live with us. We are vegetarians and never have any meat in the house. Would you be satisfied with a vegetable diet’” The fraulein scratched her head. "Veil," she said, dubiously, “iss beer a vegetable?" Not 3o Easily Caught Two holiday makers in Devonshire caught a glimpse of Dartmoor Prison while strolling along. One of them thought to take a rise out of his companion. So he said: “There, look at that!" he exclaimed. "I say, old chap, where would you. he if the place had its due?" “I’d be walking alone," he replied qulekly. Why He Looked Sad. It was the week before Christmas. Photographer (taking family group) “Now, then, Mr. Houseful, the ex presslots are all right but yours. Try and look happy— remember Christmas is coming.” Mr. Houseful (despondently)—"Confound it man, that’s Just what I'm thinking about!" No Wonder. , “Is your neighbdP a man of peace " “On the contrary I have reason to think that he believes to the mailed hand.’’ “What reason is that?" ' He’s a postman."