Evening Republican, Volume 20, Number 144, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 June 1916 — Inspiration of Genins [ARTICLE]

Inspiration of Genins

From Life

"I suppose you realize the fact,” said the detective, “that finding any man’s wife in these days is not the easiest thing in the world.’’ "If I hadn’t realized it," said Mosier, "I would not have sent for you. The matter is really very important; I wanted her to sign a paper and I should like to locate her if possible. Money is no object” The detective considered. "Of course," he said, “we must approach this matter from a strictly scientific standpoint and perhaps the best thing to do is to use the process of elimination. This being Monday, she might be at a bargain sale.” “I have considered that fact,’’ replied Mosier, "and have telephoned to all of the bargain counters in town, but no woman answering to her description has been seen there." “Has she accounts at these stores?" said the detective. “Up to the last time I saw her,” said Mosier, "which was about six months ago, she had an account in every dry uoods store in the United States. How much she has added to this since I don’t know." "Are there any bridge clubs meeting today?’’ suggested the detective. “I am* not reliably enough informed upon this question. But I believe that a bridge club meets somewhere every hour in the day and night.” “That complicates the situation," said the detective. "Does she happen to be a suffragist?” “She is not only a suffragist but a suffragette." "Does she belong to any church?’’ “All there are." “Does she use an automobile?" "All I have.” “When did you see her last?" "I think it was in July, or it may possibly have been September.’’ “How did you recognize her?”

“She was dragging home a cook. She had a peculiar way of doing it, which would attract attention from a long distance.” , "Then you haven’t been able to locate her since?” "Not to my knowledge.* While the detective had been putting Mosier through this cross-examination he had been rapidly making notes Suddenly he sprang to his feet, tore up all the papers that he had written and, with a look of joy, exclaimed : "1 have it!’’ and darted out of the office. Mosier went on with his work. He had great confidence In the detective. Besides, he was a very busy man and had many matters of Importance on his mind. While the paper was of the utmost importance, he had been taking a New Thought treatment and per- - mitted nothing to disturb him very much. One hour later the telephone bell rang. Mosier took down the receiver. It was the detective’s voice vibrating with joy, that came to him over the telephone. a ' “Your wife has been located. I have her now In my possession. She Is in the last place on earth that anybody else but myself would have dreamed of looking for her.” Mosier gasped. “Where are you telephoning from?” he said. “Your home,” was the reply.

Working It Both Ways. A lad went into a baker’s shop in Dublin to buy a two penny loaf. Hav ing received it, it struck him that it was under weight, so he drew the baker’s attention to it. “Never mind that,” said the baker; "It will be less for you to carry.” "Very well," replied the boy, and throwing three half pence on the counter, he walked away. The shopman called after him and told him he had not left enough money. "Oh never mind that,” retorted the smart Irish lad. “It will be the less for you to count.’’ Buying Hams. A butcher tells the story of a young woman who came into his shop the other day and addressed him thus: "I bought three or four hams here a month or so ago, and they were fine. Have you any more of them?” "Yes, ma’am,” said the butcher. "There are ten of those hams hanging up there now.” "Well,’* continued the young woman "if you’re surethey’reoff the same pig, I’ll take three of them." No Heart. "Some men have no hearts," said the tramp. "I’ve been a tellin’ that feller I am so dead broke that I have to sleep outdoors.” "Didn’t that fetch him?" asked the other. v "Naw. He told me he was a doin’ the same thing, and had to pay the doctor for tellin’ him to do it.” Breaking the News. When Pat Hoogan burst into the house, crying, "Mrs. Flannlgan, yore mon, Mike, has just fell of the scaffolding and killed himself, bedad!” Mrs. Flannlgan collapsed into a chair. "Alsy, aisy!” Pat continued. "Tis only his leg thot’s bruk. It’s rejoiced ye’ll be to hear it, when ye thought he was killed fur-Mt!" "Why does the rich man in the play always fall in love with the poor but respectable orphan?’’ "Probably because the poor orphan wears each beautiful diamonds." r