Evening Republican, Volume 20, Number 126, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 May 1916 — Talent Displayed In Verse and Prose [ARTICLE]

Talent Displayed In Verse and Prose

But what is that which sounds upon the midnight air? “Hey, Pete, sneak to that window and take a Peek.” Silence profound! “Sh! Not a sound! If they hear us they’ll raise Caine!” “Who do you see, Pete?” “Is ithe marshal there?” “Yes.” “Who’s Witham?” “A bunch o’ Blue Coats.” Bang! Crack! Smash! Confusion! From the rear of the bank came a swarm of officers! Each orfe carrying a Eong billy. “Here, Murphy, take this one!” cried out one lusty Blue-Coat. “Sure and oi’ll do it, Ryan! A couple more Knox’ll fix him!” “Not so fast there, sonny! Hey, Mike, Rush this fellow to the lockup.” “Come along, 'ere, you slippery son o’ Satan! We’ll take a little Kruse over to the County Lockup! What? You -won’t? Better stop actin’ like a Dahncke and come along!” ; t 7 ; i j ♦*** ♦ ; | “None o’ that language, now, sonny. Yer caught with the goods, so I’ll ask you not to Mauck me like that.” The next day several sorrowful Crooks sat in jail 'bewailing their sad lot. • “Wow, I’m hungry! I’d give my hat for a good Shortorder !” ■ “Or a good piece of Ham!” “Or a glass o’ Blue Ribbon!” “Or some good sour Deans!” “Or a cup of Coe Coe!” “Or a dish of Rice!” “Gee, this is some Shedd!” “If I ever get out o’ here,, I’ll turn straight!” “No more Swindler for mine! Here’s where 1 take a Coe-Dean tablet and go to sleep!” “Alas! Cruel, cruel Fate!” Moral: Those who dance must pay the Fiddler.

QUESTIONS SHE ALWAYS ASKS YOU. Why do they call them halfbacks? 'iney’re not deformed, are they? Is it really made of pig-skin? Who’s that bald-headed man in a sweater coat running around over there? ) 00, look! The ball hit him- , Why don’t they make hian come back? He’s “holding’* the ball. Why did he throw the ball to that other man? Was he afraid he’d get mashed if everybody jumped on him? > What are the lines for? Isn’t that the fifth down? How does the man remember -those numbers ? I think this is a beautiful game, don’t you? • Are we going to win, do you think? T a . ‘ , I • * • ■ ’ Freshie: “I h<>pe th&y have lots of good jokes in “Chaos.” this year.” Soph: “Why, you poor simp, don’t you know there are only five jokes in existence?” Freshie: “No, what are they?” ■ , „ ’ Soph: “The four classes and the faculty.”