Evening Republican, Volume 20, Number 107, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 May 1916 — Is The World Getting Better? [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Is The World Getting Better?

With th’ possible exception o’ Professor Tansey’s lecture, “Th’ Poets o’ Korea,” delivered some months ago, th’ debate last night, at ’Possum Run school, No. 3, wuz th’ Intellectual event o’ th’ season. Th’ question up fer debate wuz, “Is th’ World Gittin’ Better?" Mis# Pop Angel took th’ negative side while Miss Pearlihe Moots appeared fer th’ world, an’ led off in th’ discussion by sayin’: "It requires but a peep lnt’ th’ ole family album o’ a generation ago t’ convince th’ most sallow pessimist that th’ world has made wonderful strides. T’day th’ white lawn tie an’trock coat no longer deceive us. T’day th’ sinister motive kin no longer lurk behind opery length whiskers with Impunity. Th’ shams an’ illusions o’ th’ past have been pushed lnt’ th’ open an’ the drudgery an’ privation o’ th’ dark ages have been relieved by progress an’ enlightenment. Who would return t’ th’ ole days o’ th’ monthly bath when

mother made soap with one hand an* raised nine children with th’ other —th’ days when father made his own plug terbacker an’ plowed with a cow? Those were th’ days when th’ magic lantern an’ th’ huskin’ bee furnished th’ sole diversion*o’ our half civilized an’ ague stricken ancestors. Aside from coon huntin’ th’ church had no other opposition. T’day our people mix pleasure with religion an’ while some o’ us are goln’ along at a high rate of speed, ther’s cults an’ dogmas fer all, an! in our lucid Intervals we thank th’ Supreme Bein’ fer our auto larks an’ case seances jist th’ same as we do fer our bountiful crops. T’day we see more clearly—we know more. Th’ world haint gittin’ worse. It’s gittin’ broader an’ more liberal, an’ underlyin’ our escapades an’ seemin' indifference T th’ fundamentals may be found th' same ole fashioned respect an* reverence fer th’’ better things o’ life ready fer any emergency.” Pine opened up with a witherin’ broadside which brought th* audience t’ its feet, after which she experienced little difficulty in keepln' it there. She safd: “In these days when th’ Sunday

newspapers are devotin’ whole pages t’ th’ art o' pencilin’ th* eyebrows one must be dull indeed not t’ feel that we are borderin’ on th’ brink o’ degeneracy. i “Is ther any improvement in th’ civilization o’ t’day over th’ ole Mayflower brand? I answer ‘No!’ When we open th’ heavy clasp o’ th’ ole fashioned album an’ look at grandfather’s whiskers an’ grandmother's" poor tired, round shoulders, er Uncle Hemp’s was cravat, we-are apt t’ allow our ment t’ blind us t’ th’ part thosd whiskers played in th’ development o’ th’ country, t’ th’ many hard winters th’ snow slid off those perpendicular shoulders, t* th’ brave, honest Adam’s apple that throbbed behind that cumbersome cravat. “In these Babylonian days o’ dress an’ diversion when a quart measure is so small It bruises th’ currants an’ our women dress ten pounds lighter than a straw hat it Is not possible t* find.

with all our boasted civilization, th’ counterparts o’ those sturdy God fearin’ patriots an’ home makers whose faded likenesses repose between th’ clumsy covers o’ th’ ole musty album in th’ garret. “We may bathe oftener an’ dress thinner an’ git more alimony, but we should not allow our enthusiasm ■t’ make us fergitful o’ the fact that we are payin' a good fancy price fer th’ comforts an’ conveniences o’ th’ age—that while we’re In th’ swim t’day we may be subpoenaed t’morrow.” (Protected by Adams Newspaper Service,)

“Aside From Coon Huntin' th' Church Had no Other Opposition.”