Evening Republican, Volume 20, Number 101, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 April 1916 — Kin Hubbard Essays [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Kin Hubbard Essays

SONGS O’ TODAY

By KIN HU B BARD.

When I stand idly by an’ watch th’ tango er set thro’ a modern play I can’t help thinkin’ how fer we’ve traveled since th’ days when th’ mere mention o’ “Th’ Black Crook’' caused th’ ole-time mother t’ turn purple with shame. Jest think o’ th’ hug, kiss an’ cuddle songs o’ t’day an’ th’ dear ole ballads o’ yisterday—songs like “Only a Pansy Blossom,’’ “Ther’s a Letter in th’ Candle,” “Meet Me by Moonlight Alone,” “Mollie Darlin’,” “Sweet Genevieve,” “My Ole Kentucky Home,” “Sweet Violets," “Suwanee .River,” an’ “In th’ Gloamin’, Oh, My Darlin’.” Th’ ole songs inspired sentiment an’ patriotism—they were songs that brought out th’ best that wuz in us, ballads that caused burnin’ tears an’ tender emotions. After th’ ole-time beau listened t’ a couple o’ verses o’ “In th’ Gloamin’,” or “Take Back Your Heart,” his brain whirled with lofty thoughts an’ he wuz perfectly safe t’ have around. Ther’s nothin’ about “Sweet Genevieve” or “Silver Threads, ’ or any o’ th’ ole songs, t’ inspire home wreckin’. T’day our parlors are thrown open t’ an appallin’ list o’ “tremendous metroplltan hits” an’ no questions are asked. Fer instance: (Allegro Moderate.) “Most ever’ feller a girl some day Some little girl who steals his heart away. You leave your dearest friends t’ take th’ girlie home, Give up all you own t’ be alone. You’ve got a chance t’ press her t’ , your heart, But you’ve just met th’ girl an’ you’re afraid t’ start. Ther’s your parlor, lights are lbw,

If you had any sense you ought t’ know — (Chorus) All th’ time she’s waitin’ fer you t’ hold her, All th’ time she’s hopin’ you’ll git bolder, All th’ time, all th’ time—she’s waitin’ fer some kissin’ Oh boy! Oh boy! look at th’ fun you’re missin’. All th’ time she’s givin’ you chances But you never make a move or show a sign, She’s gittin’ closer inch by inch, If you move over it’s a cinch’, She's waitin’ fer you t’ love her all th’ time.” Here's th' chorus of another “terrific hit” that’s findin’ instant favor in our most exclusive homes. It is full o’ inspiration an’ designed especially t’ cause th’ average youth t’ spring upon his prey long ere th’ last line o’ th’ chorus has died away: “Come up t’night my honey, come up t’night, Whisle so I’ll know it’s you (Whistle). Come up t’night an’ wear your lovemakin’ clothes An’ I’ll find a cozy corner nobuddy knows.” Here’s another sample illustrative of what is termed a “parlor hit” an’ it’s enough t’ make a segar Indian topple from grace: “Hoo ray! Hoo ray! I’m eighteen years ole t’day an’ have never been kissed. Ma tells me I’m ole enough. Pa tells me I’m bold enough, So put your arms around me, I insist." Is your daughter singin’ th’ reignin’ hits o’ th’ day while some buddin’ Lothario sets unhandcufted in th’ same room?

"Is Your Daughter Singin’ th’ Reignin’ Hits o’ th’ Day While Some Buddin" Lothario Sets Unhandcuffed in th’ Same Room?”