Evening Republican, Volume 20, Number 86, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 April 1916 — YOUNG WIFE DOES HER BEST [ARTICLE]

YOUNG WIFE DOES HER BEST

Wanted to Put Clothe* on Chickens, Pair Turnip* Two and Two and Wash Celery With Soap. She was a young wife, just married, from boarding school, and, although educated regardless of expense, didn’t know beans from any other vegetable. Hence this dialogue with the cook: “Now, Biddy, what are we to have for dinner?” “There’s two chicken* to dress, mum.” “I’ll dress them the first thing. Where are their clothes?” “Why ifaum, they’re in their feathers yet.” “Oh, then, serve them that way. The ancient Romans always cooked their peacocks with their feathers on. It will be a surprise to hubby.” “It will that. mum. Shute, if you. want to help, you could be parin’ the turnips.” “Oh, how sweet! I’ll pair them two and two in no time. Why, I had no idea cooking was so picturesque." “I think, mum, that washin’ the celery do be more in your line.” “All right, Biddy. I’ll take it up to the bathroom, and I’ve some lovely Paris soap that will take off every speck.” “Thank you, mum. Would you mind telling me the name of the asylum where you was eddicated? I think I’ll have to take some lessons there myself if we be going to work together.”