Evening Republican, Volume 20, Number 42, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 18 February 1916 — Pilfered Paragraphs. [ARTICLE]

Pilfered Paragraphs.

George Washington may have been the first in the hearts of his countrymen, but the confidence man wants to be the first in their pockets. Some men drink to forget, but few men forget to drink. Jokes on matrimony are funny only to those who are not married. Many a misguided man imagines he is engaged in a game of flirtation until he wakes up some morning and finds himself no longer a bachelor. Our garden spade is beginning to show 7 signs of restlessness. Cleanliness is next to godliness but you can’t go to heaven in a bathtub or on a laundry ticket. For that tired winter feeling read the ads describing the 1916 automobile models. It some times happens that the fellow who is afraid of doing a little more than his salary calls for, doesn’t have any salary to call for. ■ . V' A distinguished professor says that what is called stupidity is siniply the indication' that a certain brain area is not properly nourished or it with--out communication with the nerve fibe. In simpler words, it is a case of nutzenberger. The fact that your great grandfather was a revolutionary soldier, your grandfather a sturdy pioneer ana your father one of the leadingest citizens, is not going to keep the patches from accumulating ,on the seat of your pants if you don’t get out and hustle. The recent sale of the trotting bred stallion, Peter the Great, 2:07%, for $50,000 to Stoughton J. Fletcher, of Indianapolis, calls attention to the fact that the horse has not yet been entirely supplanted by the automobile in the affections of some men. It also puts Indiana back to the top of the column, as Peter the Great is conceded to be the greatest sire of speedy and game race horses, either living or dead. Perhaps You’ve Got It. When you wheeze And you seneze, And you shiver In the breeze, And you shakfc, And you quake J Like a chicken with the pip; When your turn Is on the bum And you’re yearning For the rum, And you’re dizzy— Listen, Lizzie, You are going to have the grip.