Evening Republican, Volume 20, Number 41, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 February 1916 — Kin Hubbard Essays [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Kin Hubbard Essays

MISFITS

By KIN HUBBARD.

If you’ve got a tall, ganglin’ boy who has grown up while your mind wuz occupied with other things—a boy who has reached th’ age when he can’t decide on how t’ wear his hair —git t* him as soon as possible an' find out how his mind runs. Study his inclinations an’ preferences an’ try t’ start him out In s4to& congenial callin’. If you have a daughter you might git a line on her also since it is among th’ possibilities that she too, 11 have t’ hustle later on. Don’t let 'em fall in with th’ world’s great unhappy army o’ drudges who plod along patiently an uncomplhinin’ly thro’ life holdin’ down Jobs an’ positions fer Vhich ther entirely unfitted—people who droop an’ fade in th’ atmosphere o’ uncongenial employment. Men an’ women who got off on th' wrong foot

early in life an’ who, thro’ necessity an’ force o’ circumstances, have never been able t’ double back an git Bquared away. Th’ world is full o’ misfits—folks who are out o’ all sympathy with ther work an’ surroundin’s. Professor Alex Tansey says we’re all born peculiarly equipped fer certain walks in life but that its Jest like gittin’ out o’ Boston t’ find ’em. Were created t’ fit certain cogs in th’ great machinery o’ life but few of us ever find our places. So th’ drudgery o’ th’ world must alius be performed by those who have started wrong—those who must tackle th’ first thing that comes along or fall by th’ way. So, bolstered up by th’ same hope that fills th’ breast o’ th’ life prisoner who expects t’ git out t’morrow, they worry along t’ th’ end alius expectin’ t’ git somethin’ better—patiently waitin’ fer somethin’ that Jest suits ’em. "We’ll make a lawyer out o’ Albert," says some poor round-shoul-

dered father who had become a shoe* maker thro’ environment, but who had alius dreamed o’ bein’ a great editor. “I don’t want my boy t’ work as hard as I have.” So when Albert opens a law office th’ world loses a first-class plumber an’ a new misfit has been launched on th’ world. * "I’m goin’ t’ educate my girl an’ dress her up. I don’t want her t’. make th’ mistake I made an’ marry a poor man,” says th’ fond mother as she folds her tired arms after th’ business worries o’ th’ day. So Myrtyl learns t’ write a bold vertical hand an’, with at least one foxy dress, she starts out t’ round up an hoir t’ millions an’ another misfit bride takes her place in th' divorce court. Th’ world is teemin’ with misfits. Clerks who ought t’ be makln’ hoes

shoes, statesmen who belong on th’ stage, merchants who might well be plowin’, millionaires who should be makln’ brooms, policemen who ought t’ be in th’ Kansas wheat fields, actresses who should be sewin’ linin s in ten-cent hats, politicians who should be sellin’ shoe-laces —all up an’ down th’ line we find folks lackin’ in all th’ peculiarities necessary t’ fit them fer th’ work ther undertgkin’. Nearly ever’buddy you talk to wants t’ sell out an’ go int’ somethin’ else or resign an’ look fer somethin’ better. A slip-horn player is alius sorry he didn’t take up th’ fiddle. Nothwlthstandln' th’ reckless manner in which th’ word “efficiency” is overworked these days ther’s an’ alarmin’ scarcity of it. Efficiency comes with happiness, an’ happiness comes with contentment, an’ contentment is th’ result o’ bein’ all set. As Bob Purviance, o’ th’ sawmill, says, ‘‘Th’ feller who loves his work never hears th’ whistle."

“We’ll Make a Lawyer Out o’ Albert,” Says Some Poor, Round-Shouldered Father Who Had Become a Bhoemaker Thro’ Environment, but Who Had Alius Dreamed o’ Bein’ a Great Editor. “1 Don’t Want My Boy t’ Work as Hard as I Have.”