Evening Republican, Volume 20, Number 34, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 February 1916 — Professor Alex Tansey on the Decline of Modesty [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Professor Alex Tansey on the Decline of Modesty

By KIN HUBBARD

Bright an’ glowin’, after his Indian club exercises, Prof. Alex Tansey last night demonstrated t’ th’ mothers o’ “Th’ Home Trainin’ league” that he wuz keen an’ observant although a schoolteacher. Mr. Tansey addressed th’ club on “Th’ Decline o’ Modesty,” an’ many whispered approvals followed his bitin’ flings at th’ passin’ show. Said he: . “One o’ th’ most remarkable things t’day t’ my notion, is how a man in th’ full possession o’ his faculties can keep his mind on his business when he looks about him. I w|gh t’ say,

If I may be permitted t* do so, that th’ effect o’ th’ slashed skirt toward retrading moral progress in this country kin scarcely be comprehended, much less estimated. •* v “Those o’ you whose memories kin go back t’ th’ Jersey waist ah’ th’ Muncie roller skate must be appalled, when you stand on th’ pust office corner any afternoon, rain er shine —rain preferred— an’ note th’ progress degeneracy in dresshas madesincethos’? stirrin' days o' th’ early eighties. If it wuz a mistake t’ give Independence t’ Cuby iow fer greater wuz th’ miatake t' give Independence t’ th* waist line? Many problems in th’ home t’day are directly traceable t’ th’ ever shiftin’ an’ migratory waist line. Th’ daytime bodice, too, might easily be called class legislation in dress since It makes th’ rich throat specialist richer an’ poor father poorer. “Women An’ girls who used t’ drink elderberry w ine on - thsly now go directly from th’ musical comedy t’ th’ case when one little red well soused cherry may mean a one-way ticket o’er th’ downward trail. “T’day our current literature is teemin’ with underwear adver-

tlsements an’ sickly romances. A great full-page picture that probably cost eight times as much as th’ story will show a limp gazelle-eyed queen wrigglin’ and smilin’ in th’ embrace o’ a faultlessly dressed planner mover with a jardiniere o’ palms fer a background. Under th’ inspirin’ scene we read: ‘Claspin’ Imogene passionately in his strong arms, Harold kissed her agin, an’ agin, an’ agin.’ Right now many daughters in our best homes are anxiously waitin’ fer th’ next number t’ see whether Harold married th’ girl er ran away. "What would our mothers o’ ylster-

day say if they knew that Dame Fashion had finally turned out a summer frock that is suitable fer either th’ motor er th’ steam car, an’ at th’ same time so constructed that it will actually meet th’ most rigid social exigencies—somethin’, it seems, our feg’lar travelin’ dresses have been unable t* do? Whether afoot er In a spring wagon mother used t’ git by In a black alpaca an’ a Paisley shawl, an' she dldn’ live..so unhappily ever afterward at that. Agin we are face t’ face with another short sleeve summer with Its burnt forearms an’ goat knee elbows. Will nothin’ save us from this annual ordeal we may well ask ? 'Tn these days o’ skimpy apparel an' extravagant pleasure th’ serious-mind" ed girl is as scarce as business men at a political primary, an’ th’ tango fr f pck an’ flat heels, superinduced by th’ sloppy Peruvian amble, will, If I may be permitted t’ express It, he a constant menace t’ th’ traffic along th' straight an’ narrow path.” Concludin’ Professor Tansey said; "But, my friends, th’ most astonlshln' thing o’ all Is how Anything as sensible as th’ shirtwaist has held on all these years.” •' ((Protected by Adams Newspaper

“Those o’ You Whose Memories Kin Go Back t’th’ Muncie Roller Skate Must Be Appalled When You Stand on th’ Pust Office Corner Any Afternoon, Rain er Shine —Rain Preferred—an’ Note th’ Progress Degeneracy Has Made Since Those Stirrin’ Days o’ th’ Early Eighties.”