Evening Republican, Volume 20, Number 32, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 February 1916 — A Galley o’ Fun! [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

A Galley o’ Fun!

LICHT ON A DARK SUBJECT. The suburbanite is—*—man. ..who spends his daytime in the city and his salary in the country. He usually is old enough to know better. The suburbanite is a patron saint of transportation companies, snow-shovel makers, perambulator manufacturers, lawn-mow-er grinders, and growers of seedgrass, garden, and canary. He lunches at Thompson’s, dines at home, and eats his breakfast on the road to the station. He knows his way home in the dark, but probably would fail to recognize his bungalow if he were to run up against it in the daytime. The suburbanite usually has a wife, four children, la grippe, and no permanent cook. He sleeps all day Sunday dreaming of trial-balances. Week-days the babies are silll slumbering when he leaves for the city in the morning, and abed when he reaches home at night. Offspring of suburbanites know only by heresay that they have a father. All suburban jokes on record were written by cave-dwellers.- Suburban life is no joke to the suburbanite. Besides. he has no time for foolishness —the seven-thirty local waits for no man.