Evening Republican, Volume 20, Number 31, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 February 1916 — Kin Hubbard Essays [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Kin Hubbard Essays

Miss Fawn Lippincut on the “Menace of Good Housekeeping’’

By KIN HUBBARD

A little smatterln' o’ th’ Home Makers’ Club met In ordinary session, yisterday, in th' Queen Anne room o’ th’ New Palace hut-tel. After some-seventeen er eighteen receipts fer rhubarb had been tabled th’ question as t’ what sort o’ a girl made th* best housewife wuz thrashed out. Th’ shop girl, th’ college girl, th’ girl with th' business education, an’ th’ tired fiction lovin’ girl with th’ yeller neck an’ big eyes were all free-

ly discussed till th’ last cheese straw wuz gone an’ th’ tea wuz cold. Th’ sensation o’ th’ afternoon came when Miss Fawn Lippincut in a ringin’ address flayed her sex in round bell like tones that penetrated clean int’ th’ pool room. Miss Lippincut had not spoken an hour until her retreatin’ chin ah’ red nose were entirely fergotten an’ th’ club members wuz completely carried away on th’ wave o’ her eloquence. Among other things Miss Lippincut said: “Ther’s all th’ difference in th’ world between a good dirt chasin’ housekeeper an’ a home maker. I don’t care whether a girl has had a happy, care free lawn tennis college career er not, - writin’ a tall vertical hand won’t make a happy home. A girl kin be up on Greek Mythology an’ understand sanitation an’ utterly fail In boilin’ an egg. A girl with a thorough business education is Jist as likely t’ miss a cob web er bungle up a eight-egg filbert tart as a pampered daughter o’ th’ rich. She may be able t’ cope with th’ corner grocer’s double entry system o’ chargin’,

but th’ average feller hain't lookin’ fer a business partner when he goesafter a wife. A girl that peels t’maters in' a cannery er sews buttons on four dollar coats is jist as ’ liable t’ make -a happy home as- th’ gushin’ dame that meets her husband with open arms »an’ a dressin' jacket. Show me a first class housekeeper an' I’ll show you a gilt edged billiard player, er a husband that belongs t’ all th’ lodges. Show me a wife with her head filled with receipts fer fur-

niture polish t’ th’ exclusion o’ ever’thing that’a beautiful an’ wifely an’ I’ll show you a -husband that’s tryin’t’ git a travelin’ position that’ll him away from home as much as possible. No, matter what a wife has been she must understand those little touches that make married life tolerable even if th’ curtains do hang crooked an’ th’ windows need washin’. An’ 1 intellectual girl should remain single er not be heard. Th’ average husband has a hard enough time tryin’ t’ argue in th’ corner drug store without havin’ some one at home t’ show him up ever’ time he offers an opinion. No matter how inferior a~ husband may be he should be allowed th’ freedom o’ his own home if he shows th’ least disposition t’ provide. “That love an’ companionship so necessary t’ an endurin’ marriage ’ll -alius be absent in a home where th’ rollin’ pin gathers no moss —in a home where tn’ evenin’ meal is served on doilies. No husband likes t’ feel like he wuz eatin’ off o’ th’ Thousand Islands.” (Protected by Adams Newspaper Service.)

"After Some Seventeen er Eighteen Receipts fer Rhubarb Had Been Tabled th' Question as t’ what Sort o’ a Girl Made th’ Best Housewife Wuz Thrashed Out.”