Evening Republican, Volume 20, Number 26, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 31 January 1916 — Kin Hubbard Essays [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Kin Hubbard Essays

ADVERTISIN’

By KIN HUBBARD

One o’ th' most enjoyable an’ interestin’ features of a newspaper or magazine these days is th’ advertisements. We never used t’ read th’ ads. We believed they were jest cunnin’ly worded snares t’ separate th’ gullible from ther money, so we jest skimmed over ’em. But of late years business announcements have been so attractively illustrated an’ worded an’ displayed that even th’ most exclusive highbrows don’t feel above readin’ ’em. Modern advertisements are works of

art in ther way. Ther interestin’ an’ entertainin’ an’ Instructive. They remind us of our needs. _ They call t’ mind th’ fact that our toes are out, that we’re gittin’ bald or need a tonic or a new overcoat Th’ ole-time merchant prince used t’ fume an’ fret an’ sputter an’ finally write a little stingy ad on a piece o’ wrappin’ paper, callin’ attention t’ th' arrival of a fresh bale o’ calico, or a kit o’ whitefish or somethin’, an’ hand it t’ an ad solicitor with a frown an’ mumble somethin’ about his expenses breakin’ him up. T’day a merchant of any prominence at all employs a skillful ad writer an’ if ther’s any prosperity in sight he gits in on it. If a particular lot o’ salmon or soap or somethin’ don’t move fast enough he jest slaps on more printer’s ink. Art or pictorial advertisin’ seems t’ have reached th’ limit. Here th’ artist an’ writer an’ printer unite ther best licks an’ leave little or nothin’ t’ th’ Imagination o’ th’ reader. Tired an’ worried after th’, day’s grind, we open our newspapers an’ come face t’ face with a realistic lingerie ad wherein th’

artist has brought t’ light all th’ mysterious an’ Intricate harness o’ fair woman. Maybe on th’ same page, settin’ off a suit sale, we see a trio o’ fashionably dressed young men who have apparently gotten t’gether by th’ merest accident, an’ who, judgin’ by ther blank facial expressions, have never even heard of one another. Then we come t* th’ smokin’ t’bacco testimonials an’ study th’ faces of all our foremost celebrities an’ learn fer th’ first time that they smoke pipes an’ five-

cent t’backer. Then ther’s th’ allurin dandruff ad, th’ special sales, Christmas suggestions, signed letters t’ th’ editur an’ other ads, all so cleverly gotten up that we read ever’ word o’ them and spend our money freely. In th’ magazines shingle stains, Holland bulbs, winter tours, shavln’ soaps, automobiles, corsets, beauty lotions, tires, floor wax, silverware an’ union suits are all exploited in such a highly artistic manner that th’ average reader fergits all about th’ stories. What could be more eloquent than th’ underwear ad wherein a whole, wellrounded family is shown seated about a library table readin’ in th 1 soft, mellow glow o’ an up-t’-date lamp —father, mother, Gertrude, Robert, Ethyl an’ little Toots, all dressed in union suits jest like they had started t* go t’ bed an’ then suddenly decided t* return t th’ livin’ room an’ read a little while longer. This is an age when we all depend on publicity an’ nobuddy profits by keepin’ out o’ th’ public eye but th crook. (Protected by Adams Newspaper Service.)

Th’ Ole Time Merchant Prince Used t’ Fume an’ Fret an’ Sputter an’ Finally Write a Little Stingy Ad on a Piece o’ Wrappin’ Paper Callin’ Attention t’ th’ Arrival of a Fresh Bale o’ Calico or Kit o’ Whitefish or Somethin’ an’ Hand It t’ an Ad Solicitor With a Frown an’ Mumble Somethin’ About His Expenses Breakin’ Him Up.