Evening Republican, Volume 20, Number 19, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 January 1916 — OUR FRIEND TH’ EGG [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

OUR FRIEND TH’ EGG

By KIN HUBBARD.

“Jest a word in defense o’ th’ hen,” said Miss Germ Williams, editress o’ Th’ Hen an’ Home, this mornin’. “It makes no difference t’ her which party is in power as she does not regulate th’ price o’ her product. I’m speakin’ now fer th’ good 01-fash-loned country hen who lives her own life in her own way, an’ not fer th’ pampered drone who leadsa lazy eggfree existence In th’ modern scientific coop. No affidavit is needed t’ support th’ fact that th’ country hen is followin’ out nature’s decree —she’s molting an’ ther’s nothin’ doin’. - “Th’ hen egg plays a most important roll in th’ life an’ happiness o’ our people t’day. No recipe is complete without from one t’ six eggs. No shampoo is complete without th’ softenin’ influence of at least one egg. A cook is powerless without eggs.

Th’ breakfast table looks cold an’ uneventful without th’ warm golden orbs of a few upturned eggs. Ther is no understudy fer th’ egg. An egg may be fresh, strictly fresh, guaranteed or born in April an’ on parole. Thor are gilt-edged firsts an’ ordinary firsts. An’ then wei have th’ smooth plausible lookin’ egg that is lackin’ in all th’ peculiarities p’ th’ genuine. “In spite o' all th’ advancement In th* culinary art there’s nothin* that touches th’ epot like bam an’ eggs. Th' modest an’ unsophisticated enter a case or resturlnt with only two thoughts—ham an’ eggs. In th’ old daystherWuz nothin' as effective in riddin’ a community of an undesirable

citizen as a shower of over-ripe eggs. Often when an actor cable along that fell a little short o’ th’ requirements o' his chosen art th’ audience would hand him a case o’ eggs—one at a time. “When sickness enters th’ home an’ th’ patient is tenderly nursed through th’ crisis an’ finally propped up with pillows in th’ bay window t’ spend th’ convalescent period those near an’ dear tempt him with choice viands. But with his first returnin’ strength he wearily turns his lusterless eyes an’ looks wistfully toward th’ dinin' room an' says, 'Mother, I believe I could worry down an egg.’ "T’day ther is ever* Inducement fer a hen t’ lay. Th’ poultry medicine chest is filled with concoctions t’ keep her in th’ mood. Her food is even prepared along scientific lines an’

contains all th' makin’s o’ a first-class egg. All th' hen is expected t’ do is t’ assemble 'em. Her young are reared amid th’ gentlest influences. Th’ modern hen house is constructed in th’ most approved fashion with reversible roostin’ accommodations, -c clean airy nests, sanitary drinkin’ fountains an' perfect ventilation. Even th* windows are so arranged that th’ light falls over th’ hen’s left shoulder. Tet th* ototashloned farmers with th' ole-fashioned hens fetch all th* eggs t’ town. "T’ th’ husband who is often left t’ his own'resurces ther is no friend, like th’ egg” (Protected by Adama Newspaper Service,

“I’m Speakin’ Now Fer th’ Good Ole-Fashioned Country Hen Who Lives Her Life in Her Own Way an’ Not For th’ Pampered Drohe Who Leads a Lazy Egg-Free Existence In th’ Modern Scientific Coop."