Evening Republican, Volume 20, Number 17, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 January 1916 — A Galley o’ Fun! [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

A Galley o’ Fun!

WATCHING POLITICAL STRAWS. “I have just been attempting,” remarked the editonmL the Houndtown Glad Shout, “to take a vote of my subscribers to find out how-they stand on the Trust question.” “Ah!” replied the vicitor, who had dropped in by appointment to see the speed with which the edition of the Glad Shout was printed on the Washington hand-press, “you do it with a view— tolearxxing beforehand, if possible, how the presidential election will go?” - “Well er—not exactly 1 The state of both parties offer to send me plate-matter, either for or against Trust, free of cost. I hardly know which to get.”

A DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE. The Ward Heeler—Last time yer voted fer two plunks an’ dis time yer kickin’ fer a five spot; what d’ yer mean by doin’ de party dirt?’ The Voter —Begorra! Oi got a good job now an’ 01 don’t give a dum whither Oi vote or not! IN LOVE'S NET. When overhead are summer skies With cunning, crafty finger Love spreads a tempting paradise Where two may sweetly linger. He hangs his net within the shade (The crickets low are singing) And baits it with a witching maid, P’oW, swinging, swinging, swinging. O Love! entangled in your weave I wish no Eden dearer — A hammock, nook, a Summer Eve, And I, the Adam, near her. ALMOST INCOMPREHENSIBLE. Husband—Oh! don’t be so particular! I assure you the people who go to the ball game won’t care what you wear. • Wise —Indeed? What very peculiar people they must be! ~ QUICK CHANGES. . “Can. you tell me which country has the most powerful Dreadnaught?” “No.” - "Ur who holds the aeroplane altitude record?” “No.” “Or which liner has the trans-Atlan-tic speed record?” ' “No.” ~ “Or in what state the greatest graftsteal in the history of the country exists?” “No.” “Then maybe you can tell me the name of the richest baby Jn the world?” “No. Confound ‘it, man! I haven’t seen the morning paper yet.” THE DIFFERENCE. .Little Elmer —P»pa, what is a sot? 'Pro f essor Broadhead —A sot, my son, is a poor man who gets drunk; a rich man who drinks to excess is the possessor of a convivial disposition. “’consolation. -Tifst'CHmmai Lawyer—Facts-are'* stuboorn .things. J——— Second Criminal Lawyer (cheerfully)—Oh, yesU If they were not, our fees "would be smaller.