Evening Republican, Volume 20, Number 15, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 18 January 1916 — Page 3

25 POUNDS Pure Refined Granulated Sugar for $1.05 With a grocery order amounting to SIO.OO exclusive of flour or sugar Fresh Roasted Coffees CLUB HOUSE BRAND is positively the highest grnde obtainable. i Guaranteed to please you. Per 2-lb., can .75c; 4 (Ip 1-lb. can at *rUb OZARK BRAND is blended to suit the taste; makes Oflp a rich and aromatic cup of coffee. Per 1-lb. pkg vUu DAMON BRAND COFFEE is guaranteed to contain none other than the highest grade of Peabery coffee, QflP KEY BRAND COFFEE is a mixed variety of high-grade coffee. Positively nothing cheap about the coffee, OCp but the price, per pound . • tub RIO BULK COFFEE is a smooth, pleasant tasting QflP and an aromatic coffee, per pound tub ■ - 1 — a Club House Brand Teas Are the same grade Teas that are sold at most stores for Rfip 80c per lb. Gunpowder, Japan or Orange Pekoe, lb. . . uUb A 1-QT. MASON JAR OF HIGH-GRADE COCOA 23c 1-LB. ROYAL BAKING POWDER, 50c size ......45c 1-LB. OWL RIGHT BAKING POWDER, reliable and economical, per pound 10c ~~ ?- : r-I 3 CANS PET BRAND MILK, ta.ll cans .25c 6 CANS PET BRAND MILK, baby size cans 25c 3 CANS CLUB HOUSE BRAND MILK, tall cans 25c 6 CANS CLUB HOUSE BRAND MILK, baby size cans 25c 1 CA N BORDEN’S EAGLE BRAND CONDENSED MILK 15c 1-QT. MASON JAR OF THE HIGHEST GRADE PEANUT QC p BUTTER, contents 2 lbs. and 2 ozs.; per Jar. ....... JJb

ROWLES & PARKER THE BIG CORNER DEPARTMENT STORE TELEI HONE NO. »5

A Galley o’ Fun!

LORD CHESTERFIBLD’B SON’S LETTERS TO HIS FATHER. A number of the letters of Lord Chesterfield’s son to his father are to be published as soon as a publisher can be found with sufficient courage. ▲ few samples are given below. "Dear Father —Yours received and contents noted. What you say about etiquette Is very true. In haste, your affectionate son, Phil.”

"Dear Father—Your beautiful letter Is at hand. The sentiments are simply charming. Dear Father, lam very short. Could you send me £5? Your effectlonate son, Philip.” "Dear Father—l have to acknowledge yours of the 14th. Permit me to thank you for your excellent advice. I am sure that posterity will appreciate IL Dear Father, a small cheque would be deeply appreciated. Your affectionate son, Philip.” "Dear Father—Will you he kind enough to. let me know how to write a letter asking one’s father for a small but much-needed remittance in such a way as to preclude the possibility of a refusal. Your early attention will oblige your affectionate son, Philip.’*

“Dear Father—Your extremely interesting and Instructive letter received. Such felicity of expressionsuch taste —and so forth! lam more than ever convinced that you can give them all cards and spades on etiquette. I am having a very pleasant time here, and ♦ * * • • £10?”

"A pretty girl,” observed the Plain Girl,. bitterly, "has a great advantage In this‘business of making a name for herself!” , "Idon’t know!" sighed the Pretty Girl. “She finds s > many lovely ready ierwew aasM* at.bmdF* ' , - ’ - '•*— , -rs *

GROCERIES!

Had HEARD OF THEM BEFORE. Teacher—Yes; the ( Constitution was adopted in 1879. Now, Johnny, can you tell us anything about the principles of American liberty? Johnny—Gee! I should say I could! Pap 's' been runnin’ fer office ever since T kin remember.

IN THE COMING ERA. First Citizen—My wife and I havn’t voted for fifteen years. Second Citizen—Not Interested in politics? First Citizen—Oh, yes! deeply inter; ested, but we’re paired.

A SURE THING.

Silas —Hiram says he really expects ter git elected ter de office of constable this time, fer sure. Joshua—He does? Why, what’s his politics? He hain’t fer expansion ner free ill ver. Silas—Oh! they say he’s got a scheme ter make the foreigner pay all the Internal revenue tax. He bprung it down ter the stare the over evenin’ an* it took like hot cakes.

OF COURSE NOT. “To vote for your bill,” said the Congressman, "I would have to stulify myself.” "Just so,” sald the lobbyist, bland ly. "And, of Course, we don’t expect a man to stulify hinself for nothing.” A DEFINITION. Rhetoric Teacher —What is meant by poetic license? Scholar —The permission claimed by the educated to use language such as they would ridicule if used by the uneducated. . - , " ... AN EXTREMIST. "He is very broad-minded for a clergyman.” . *■ \ "Does he believe in hellT*”6h! not only that, but he believsa tn saying so.”

THE EVENING REPUBLICAN, RENSSELAER, IND.

50 POUNDS Pure Refined Granulated Sugar for $2.10 With a grocery order amounting to $20.00 exclusive of flour or sugar AND NO FREIGIfe TO PAY Canned Goods 3 CANS CHOICE PINK SALMON 25c 3 CANS CHOICE SARDINES in inustfard sauce. 25c 1 LB. CAN CLUB HOUSE BRAND SALMON, finest packed. . . .25c 1 LB. EXTRA CHOICE RED SALMON 20c 2 CANS FANCY ALASKA SALMON 25c 1 2-LB CAN CHOICE SLICED PINEAPPLE 15c 1 3-LB. CAN CHOICE SLICED PINEAPPLE .25c 2 1-LB. CANS CRUSHED PINEAPPLE . . . .25c 3 CANS 1915 PACK EARLY JUNE PEAS,. ......25c 3 CANS 1915 PACK SAUERKRAUT ...25c 3 CANS 1915 PACK RED KIDNEY BEANS 25c 3 CANS 1915 PACK SWEET CORN ....25c 3 CANS 1915 PACK LYE HOMINY 25c 3 CANS 1915 PACK TOMATOES .........................30c 3 CANS 1915 PACK SWEET PUMPKIN . ..25c 2 CANS 1915 PACK CLUB HOUSE BRAND PEAS 25c 1 3-LB. CAN CLUB HOUSE BRAND HAWAIIAN SLICED PINEAPPLE 30c 1 3-LB CAN CLUB HOUSE BRAND WHITE CHERRIES 40c 1 3-LB. CAN CLUB HOUSE CLAM CHOWDER . .25c 1 QT. BOTTLE PURE MAPLE SYRUP, regular 50c size 40c 1 QT BOTTLE MAPLE FLAVORED SYRUP 25c 1 QT. MASON JAR CHOICE LARGE OLIVES 25c 1 LARGE BOTTLE PIMENTO STUFFED OLIVES 25c i SMALL BOTTLE PIMENTO STUFFED OLIVES 10c 1 LARGE BOTTLE PURE TOMATO CATSUP 10c 3 LARGE GLASSES PREPARED MUSTARD ...,25c 1 10-LB. SACK PURE BUCKWHEAT FLOUR 40c 1 LARGE SACK E. Z. BAKE GRAHAM FLOUR 25c 1 LARGE SACK WHITE KILN DRY ED MEAL. . . ...........25c 1 SMALL SACK WHITE KILN DRYED MEAL^-v... . ; - 6 SMALL SACKS FINE TABLE OR DAIRY SALT. .......... ,25c Syrups 1 GAL. PAIL CRYSTAL PURE WHITE SYRUP...... 50c F GAL. PAIL KARO SYRUP 50c 1 GAL. PAIL DARK CORN SYRUP 45c ] LARGE CAN BAKING MOLASSES . 10c

FULLY REPRODUCED. Hercules was keeping the big stick busy during his famous encounter with the Hydra. But, as you know, every time he struck off - one head, two succeeded It. ■ Finally the fiuirdf of the situation struck the strong man. "I’m sure giving a correct imitation of what Charlie Murphy is doing to New York state!" he chuckled.

EXACTING. First Summer Girl —Oh! I broke off the engagement! He was so unreasonable! Second Summer Girl —Indeed! First Summer Girl —Oh, yes! Why, he objected on my going to a moonlight drive with another man! He is not skilled in gentle art To please his lady fair; He does not strive to win her heart. With flowers sweet and rare. No sonnets ripple from his pen; No moonlight serenade Awakes from dreams —or other men. The shy—and sleepy—maid. No frenzied vows he’ll register, Nor is his love revealed By derring-do for sake of her On any Rousting field. When he a-wooing goes, instead Of stunts like that, he’ll say: “Let’s double up, kid —on the dead, I got a raise today!”

UP TO DATE. AgristAnt—Great Scott! This next Issues of ours is going to be simply rank It’ll never sell a copy. _ Editor—Brace up! There’s one thing left to do: Summon the advertising manager and we’ll.fake up a scheme to boom the thing as some idiiddfa"»peciainumber.” ANOTHER USE. Smith—l didn’t know you owned a motor-car; why these auto goggles 1 _ Smyth—My wife has hat-pins. - ■ ■ - ;- ’ • —— •. 1 . . ~ y-T - f -

A Galley o’ Fun!

INTREPID. Our forces comprised twenty thousand women, as against the enemy’s thirty .thousand, but we were not dismayed. Indeed, when we saw their scouts hovering near, we brought them to camp and showed them everything. "Go!” quoth we, "and tell your gen- ▲ little later these scouts, on foaming steeds, drew up at their own headquarters. "Such bravery!” they exclaimed, breathlessly. "Those women yonder all have big feet, yet they wear white shoes without blenching!" Whereupon the enemy with terror tugging at their hearts, broke and fled in confusion. DOUBLY WORBB. Lord Fitonoodle—You are afraid the suffragettes will get worse? Shades of Pitt, they can’t, man! They are like wild beasts now. The Prime Minister—Yea, but supposing one of the American popular evangelists would coms over and they should get religion? HIGH. First Trustee—But this ancient institution of learning will fail unless something is done. Second Trustee —True, but what can we do? We have already raised the tuition until it is almost one per cent of the fraternity fees. HAD LOTS OF During his last Illness Curran, the great Irish wit, was one day told by his medical attendant that he seemed to cough with more difficulty than he had done the previous day. “That’s odd enough," replied the famous Irishman, "because I’ve been practicing all night.”

Couldn’t Lie Down. At a charge of the Zouaves the commandant suddenly cried out. "Lie down!" as a hail of German shells came over them. They all dropped but one. * "Nom de Dieu, lie down!” the lieu- ’ tenant-colonel out, furiously, to the one man. Thia Zouave tapped his large pock- > et and called back to his chief; "My lieutenant, I can’t; I’ve got , a quart bottle full of wine in here and it hasn’t any cork in it”

49 Pounds HIGHEST GRADE KANSAS TURKEY RED WHEAT FLOUR. Guaranteed to be the best to be had at any price. AH DC , Sold with a money-back guarantee, at I iUu 49 Pounds v WHITE STAR FLOUR, the great bread maker, , Guaranteed to be equal to any flour on the market. Retailing at EC 25c sack more; your money back if unsatisfied v liuu *' .. " 20 Pounds LARGE, SQtJARE, CRISPY tl OQ SODA CRACKERS iplitu Soaps, Washing Powders and Cleansers 7 BARS LENOX SOAP . . 25c 7 BARS STAR CITY SOAP ............25c 10 BARS DAYLIGHT SOAP ’ 25c 6 BARS AMERICAN FAMILY SOAP 25c 6 BOXES GOLD DUST or WHITE LINE .. .. ■ .25® 3 CANS OLD DUTCH CLEANSER 25c 3 CANS PRIDE OF THE HOUSEKEEPER CLEANSER 25c 5 CANS KITCHEN KLENZER 25c 3 CANS MAMMOUTH or LEWIS LYE 25c Rice and Cereals > 3 LBS. EXTRA FANCY HEAD RICE.... 25c 4 LBS. FANCY JAPAN TYPE RICE .25c 5 LBS. NEW FLAKE HOMINY . . 25c 6% LBS. NEW CRACKED HOMINY • y ...... .25c 3 PACKAGES CORNFLAKES ' 25c 3 PACKAGES POST TOASTIES . . . . . 23c 'PACKAGES GRAPE NUTS . . ............... .......... 25c 2 PACKAGES SHREDDED WHEAT BISCUITS 25c YEAST FOAM, per package 3c ' ,1., ' " ,1 .. / ■ ' ' - The most sanitary Grocery in the city. A complete line of Staple and Fancy Groceries at aU times. We pay the highest cash price for Produce. ■

i ROFESSIOUL CARDS . DR. E, C. ENGLISH . Physician and Surgeon —UtUM>si t'te—Trust-and- -Sttv+mfß - Bank. — Phonee; 17?--2 rings offlee; S rings for residence. Kenssolser, Ind la n*. C. E. JOHNSON, M. D. Office in Jessen Building. Jffice Hours—9 to 11 a. m. I t< and 7 to 8 p. m. Specialty: Surgery Phon>2ll.

DR. I. M. WASHBM - A Physician and Surgeon Attending clinics at or; Tuesdays from 5 a. m. to 2 p. m. / Phone 48. 1 schuylercFrwin Law, Real Estate, Insurance 5 per cent farm loans Office in Odd Bellows’ Block. J

H. L BROWN Dentist Crown and Bridge Work ‘b Vlthout Plates a Specialty, z git wj* ataet methode In Dentistry j Oex r' blnletered for painlees ext zaetloa O®ce over Lareb’e »r Store Rensselaer. Ind Xana

JOHN A. DXJMLAP Lawyer (Successor to., Frank Foltz.) Practice Sn all courts. Estptsa. settaed y Farni. Qc-lsetfiue rtepartmao: Notary tn the office e. n. loy P 5 Successor to Dr. W. W. ttoell Homeopathist •, ’ 3flc«— Frame bulldins on Cail eh st.’sei east of court bouse. orrMxs yMoma ss , Residence College Avenue Ffcnne I**> Menssalaar. Indian* z F . ■— , , - j ; F. H. Physician aid Surgwa f SfrSMSI Ituatiou ;r, dIgMSSWI et! W*St- S 1. and low grades si fsesw. Office over Fendig’k Drug StA re. Telephone, office and r»»tdw»ee. >.

IT BEEMEO A LONG TIME George Bernard Shaw was invited by a friend one night to hear a string quartet from Italy. Expecting * treat, he accepted the invitation. Throughout the program* he sat with a stony look on his face. The friend, to draw a little praise from him said: "Mr. Shaw, those men have been playing together fcr twelve years.” ' “Twelve years!” said the other in an uncredulous voice. "Surely we’ve been here longer than thaL” SAVING HIM MONEY ised me a dollar if' I passed in school this term?” “Yes, my boy." -• "Well, I just thought I’d tell yon that that’s one expense you won! have to figure on this year.” TOO SUGGESTIVE "Yes, said the young physician of aristocratic lineage, "our family ha* a motto, but I prefer not to use IL It is a little teo suggestive in my profession." "What is the motto?" ••Faithful unto death."* Willing to Try His Method. Sufferer—l have a terrible toothache and want something to cure ft." Friend—Now, you don’t need any medicine. I had * toothache yesterday and I went home and my loving wife kissed me and so consoled me that the pain soon passed away. Why don’t you try the same?" Sufferer—l think I will. 1* year wlfe at home

DR. F. A. TURFLER Osteopathic Physiciaa Rooms 1 and S. Murray Building. Rensselaer,‘lad’ana. Phones, Office —» rings °» «®*. twice —3 rings on SOO - Successfully treats both acute and .aronlc diseases Spinal curvatures s “jipecTaltrGEORGE A. WILLIAMS Lawyer Special attention given to preparation of wills, settlement <rf eatated, making and examination of abstract •• kittle, and farm loans. Office over First National Bank.

TMUMWE IQTICX. The undersigned trustee ot Newton township, will have an Rensselaer, on Saturday of each we*»tn the room With R. P. lane over Murray’s store. JOHN bush. Trustee.